Questions about Dissociation

My therapist keeps saying that I am very dissociative. Im not sure that I am. I feel that my mind is very escapist. I live on the fringes in my desire to be all here. Is that dissociation? I think its voluntary. But its like if everyone is 100% in there abilty to be all here and feel and experience everything around them, then I can occationally live at 75% and even 50% without anyone noticing. I guess I usually think of dissociation as something different where its a momentary feeling that you arent in your skin or something. I feel like mine is a more emotional numbness and dullness that doesn't want to deal with life. Is that more depression? Well. I guess that is enough questions.

I kind of fade out and do things that I don't remember doing. It's almost like someone else is doing them and I hear about it later.

Not sure if that is dissociation either. I drive home and half the time don't remember the trip. It's like I leave for awhile and someone else steps in........[shrug].

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Dorothy Bernard

What you are describing- the emotional numbness is called dissociation of affect. Affect is sort of another word for emotion.

We ALL dissociate from time to time. Some times that a lot of people tend to dissociate, for instance, include when driving or when sitting through a boring lecture! If you've ever driven somewhere and then not really remembered driving all the way there, and the trip felt shorter than it actually was, you probably dissociated. If you know you were present and awake for an entire lecture, but you were totally unable to pay attention and can't remember what the professor said, you've dissociated. Some of us dissociate a lot more than others, though. This is particularly true for many who've been exposed to some form of trauma: neglect, abuse, severe loss, accidents/injuries, etc. Also, some people just seem to be naturally prone to dissocation.

Dissociation can take a LOT of different forms, and degrees. Some examples of dissociation include:
-feeling like you aren't real
-feeling like you are moving in slow motion or in a dream
-being on "autopilot"- interacting, but not really connecting with the world
-"spacing out"
-daydreaming
-feeling like you are leaving your body
-emotional numbness

There are more. I have a book that lists them, but I've loaned it to someone else for the time being. These are the examples I could think of just off the top of my head.

Hope that helps!
Angela (SC)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

This is not enough information for a diagnostic, plus, well, we are not the ones qualified for such a thing.

My perception, and is just that, a perception, is that, in your case, it might be simply a defense mechanism. Specialy in the example that you gave.

Again, not enough info to "label" your behavior. And why the the label important any way?

gab

Dissociation falls under the major heading of Defense Mechanisms, along with stuff like repression, regression, etc.

I completely agree about the labels! They are only important, imo, for insurance companies forms and to make sure you are getting the right kind of therapy for your particular disorder. Other than that, they usually seem to make people feel bad. Although I guess sometimes it may be good to know there are other people out there who feel like we do? So many in fact, we gave the whole gang a name?? Dunno. Wow - did I just disagree with myself? em

dissociation is a defense mechanism, not a diagnosis.

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

Dissociation is a defense mechanism, but it is also a diagnostic (DSM 4) classification, including fugue, amnesia, DDNOS and DID. Additionally, diagnoses such as schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder and PTSD include dissociative symptoms and/or criteria.

Esther - Did all this make you feel any more comfortable with your T saying you dissociate? I hope so. I think it's more common than people think. Have you talked to your T more about it? Take care! Em

Post deleted by mj14 at request of poster
<div class="foot">(Edited by mj14 on 08/03/04 05:36 PM.)</div>

I don't know sundance... the definition to dissociation on that site says it's when .... another part or ? causes them to "act inappropriately" ? HUH? and it's under addictions for alcoholics?

LOL some of the info you give out is ok but it might scare the members or give them more information than they need...

Really?

I didn't see that part of it, I read about DID And abuse, didn't realize it was about alcohol abuse.
I don't agree with the part where it says inappropriately, ok, Bad url.
Crap. Sorry guys.

Can we delete that post.

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

No, dissociation itself is NOT a diagnostic classification. Dissociative DISORDERS are a diagnostic classification. One can dissociate without recieving a dissociative disorder diagnosis. It depends on the frequency, severity, and purpose of dissociation whether or not the person who dissociates receives any diagnosis related to the dissociation. I'm familiar with the dissociative disorders, and I wasn't suggesting that ethersvirtue has a dissociative disorder. BUT she DOES dissociate. Dissociation is what she has described in her post. You are absoultely right about dissociative symptoms being part of many disorders. Dissociation itself is NOT a diagnostic classification, though.

Angela (SC)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

sundance, u r too cute!

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

ethersvirtue, I just want to emphasize that dissociation is a NORMAL response to stressors. We all dissociate a little. And that is not "diagnosable" as anything. It is just called "dissociation". I know the word makes it sound formidable, but it can be as benign as spacing out. My T scared me once, before I understood what dissocation was, by telling me that when I watch incense burn and space out, I'm dissociating as a way of coping with stress! Now that I understand it, I realize that was dissociation- and I was using it to cope. Dissociating does not mean you will be diagnosed with anything at all. It depends on your other symptoms, and degree to which you dissociate. You've not said anything that makes it sound like you have a dissociative disorder. And it doesn't sound like your T thinks you have one, either. They were just telling you that you have a strong tendency toward dissociation (as exhibited by your emotional numbness), as a coping strategy. Dissociation only becomes problematic when it interferes with leading a full life, a full emotional life being part of that. I was confused and scared when my T told me that I dissociate, so I understand what you're going through. Since then, I have learned a LOT about dissociation and that has helped me recognize and come to terms with my own dissociative responses.

I want to reccomend a book to you, but before I do, let me make something ABUNDANTLY clear as to avoid the confusion created last time I reccomended this book to someone! There is a book about Dissociative Identity Disorder, and a small part of that book describes dissociation in general, NOT particularly as it relates to dissociative disorders. This is clearest description of dissociation I have read, and it helped me understand it much better. I am NOT saying you have Dissociative Identity Disorder- that is not even a thought in my mind. I am ONLY suggesting you read the part in this book that tells about different types of dissociation, and what dissociation is exactly. The book is called "The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook" by Deborah Haddock. If I had the book with me, I would most likely post the part of it on dissociation, because so many people keep asking about it. But I have loaned it to someone right now! I wish I did have it!!!

Anyway, I hope all this helps you out rather than further confusing you. If you want to talk more about your own dissociative responses, feel free to post again. You can also feel free to pm me if you'd like to hear more about my dissociation. I don't mind telling you how and when I dissociate and how I realized it, if it would help you out.

Take care!

Angela (SC)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

P.S. I swear I'm not always this argumentative. So don't hate me just yet! I'm generally much easier to get along with

Angela (SC)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

LOL no way! If they wouldn't delete mine, just because no one understood what I meant, and then they further misunderstood what I tried to say in trying to explain, thus making it worse there's NO WAY you get that post deleted. LOL

There's plenty of information around on all this. I am just wondering why it's taking "so long" to get a Dissociative Forum from John.

No, I didn't think you were argumentative at all. I see your point.

Another book I really like is "Stranger in the Mirror" by Steinberg. It has a lot of very uselful info on the entire continuum of dissociative experiences/behaviors.

I think therapists are unlikely to dx dissociative disorders -- at least in my experience. They will tend to charge ins as "PTSD" or "depression" -- which I think leads to the conintuing misperception that Dissociative Disorders are "rare".

Not that the original poster of the thread has one.... not saying that... it's just that the way diagnosis happens, tends to exclude dissociation as "disorders" vs symptoms. Anyway... that's where I was coming from... didn't mean to pathologize or scare anyone!

M

hahahahaha thanks sweetcrusader

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

hahahah too late

hehehehe, I'm special skybark, hahaha.

JK

But I still love ya, even though I got it deleted.. hehehe....LOL

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

Thanks everyone for you replies! I feel a bit better about it. Is there a way to keep yourself from dissociating to deal with life?

As you work on your issues in therapy, and learn new coping mechanisms, it will start to happen naturally for you as you are ready for it. You don't want to force it too much, because the world looks very different when you start dissociating less. It's a bit harder to handle sometimes! It'll come as you are ready. There are also "grounding techniques." When you get the point where you can recognize that you are dissociating, you can use these techniques to help you not dissociate. One that I use is to focus all my attention as intently as I can on what is happening around me. I look at the people who are talking and I try very hard to be actively engaged in the conversation. I look at everything around me. I think about what my body is feeling: is my heart beating fast? Do I have a stomache ache? Things like that. I can't think of any others just off the top of my head. Maybe someone else will know some. And you could ask your T about it. I started using this one a couple of months ago. My T told me to try that, because I had finally been able to recognize when I was dissociating. I tried it after cutting myself, because I could tell I was "fading" sort of, you know, not connecting. It worked very well for me then.

Good luck

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

I believe my mother is somewhat dissociative. She will sometimes say "Did that happen? Maybe it was a dream?" Once, maybe only philosophically, she said "maybe what you dream is reality and what you think is reality is a dream." I sure hope not! Or I'm going out in public naked quite often! Oops.

cms:

Sounds like that might be the case with your mother. My mother is being treated for dissociative disorders (not identity) but it is still scary, especially since we've been dealing with it since we were children (Im 27 and she just got treated) Sometimes she'd do things and not remember doing them.Sometimes they were really really bad things, and she wouldn't remember them. We just thought she didn't care that she had done those things. NO conscious, etc. but that's only part of it. She was found in a state of dissociative fugue a little over a month ago. She tried to run out in front of a car, just getting the heck outta there. She didn't recognize her husband, etc. It was really bad. Might be worth checking in to if it's only getting worse with her.

I myself dissociate and I know when it's happening but nothing I can do about it. I've been this way since I was a child. A way to escape the pain. I'm just starting getting treatment, so I haven't been to a pdoc yet but I know it's coming. I'm prepared to do what it takes.

Anyway, I'm rambling, just wanted to say that I hope that's not the case with your mother, but I know it's quite common, actually. Especially when dealing with childhood trauma.

LOL @ being naked in public. I've had a few of those myself and it wasn't pretty

Take Care.