Trigger -
Im struggling allot lately this week with this particular things. Growing up.. so much happened, but short story is that as a kid i acted out sexually due to allot of things. My mom really thought i was a slut. She would make me feel so bad and tell me I couldnt even so much as hug my dad... who she suspected i was doing something with. I used to cringe when i heard the word slut even at 9 or 10, bc when i heard it.. i had already felt the shame and rejection from my mom.. I already knew how painful that label even if implied it could be. Later in life, i had other people i loved treat me like i was the ***** they needed to protect their husbands from. I never understood why.. ppl saw so much bad in me, but at the same time i knew the lot of what i had been exposed to had made an indelible mark on me. Am i who my mother thought i was? This really hurts me tonight.

[sujunew]

((((((((((((((((((((((ev))))))))))))))))))))))))
to me you are a beautiful caring person. No-one, children in particular, should ever be subjected to that sort of abuse from their parents especially their mums, and while I do not know you IRL I believe that you most certainly are not a slut, and absolutely without a doubt not when you were 9 or 10.
Please take care.
xxx suz

Thanks, sujenew!

[Cyran0]

Ethers, what struck me most was the notion that you would be labeled a slut by your Mom because she suspected sexual activity between you and your father. What sort of twisted mind would blame a ten year old girl for sex with her father?

I can relate to a part of your story. As a boy I sat at the dinner table and listened to my father and brothers talk about how all gays should be put on an island and it should be nuked. All the while, I sat there knowing I'd been sexual with other males. They were talking about me and my little heart sank.

And yet, I was no more responsible for what was happening than you were.

You've never posted anything here that would indicate you've behaved in a sexually immoral or reckless way so please go easy on yourself. Sex is a normal need that you have a right to fill and it does not make you a slut.

Be safe.

Cyran0

Thanks Cyran.. I'm sorry you felt so rejected by your family. I finally got to cry about it with my T today. It felt good like I got to share how painful that part of my childhood was.

I'm sorry your mom was so irrational (((esthersvirtue)))

[SweetCrusader]

Sweet EV, there is absolutely NO way a young child can be a slut. No way, no how. When children are victimized sexually, it's VERY common for them to "act out" sexually in a number of ways. In fact, it's probably more common than *not* acting out. You aren't a slut, and you never have been. What a horrible thing for a mother to say to a child! What your mom did was emotional abuse & victim-blaming. It's sooo disgusting when adults blame children for the abuse those children suffer. I think they do it because they don't want to have to feel the awful guilt and maybe helplessness of knowing that your child, who you should protect, has been hurt so badly. I firmly believe the only way a person can be abusive emotionally, physically, sexually, whatever... is if they numb themselves to others' feelings as well as their own.

I'm so sorry you went through this

*safe hugs* (((((((((((((((EV)))))))))))))))))

I think you're a strong, beautiful person.

Love ya,
SC/Angela

[Kiya]

(((((((((((ev))))))))))))))))
I hope it is ok that i respond - the last post of mine you responded too, I think i wasn't clear and hope i didn't offend you. It's been on my mind for 2 weeks or so.

I agree with everyone in here - there is no way you could have been a slut - not then, not now.

On the flip side, i too, know that word well. my dad (abuser) often referred to me as a slut, would trow coins at me, say afwul comments to me if i took off a sweatshirt and had on only a tank top.... even if i looked nice he'd find some comment like "doing your slut walk?" It is very hard to get that from one's parents. especially when it is the parents that are sexualizing their kids. we are only a product of them. But we don't have to stay that way.

Ev, we are really innocent. i have to believe that or this night will be total cr*p. we didn't have any say really.
i hope you're ok out there.
safe hugs to you if you want them.
kiya

Thank you Kiya (((((((((Kiya))))))))
No worries really.
I'm so sorry what you dad said to you. Thats horrible horrible. Sometimes i wonder about how life can be so brutal . Hoping you stay safe also.

[Kiya]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((es)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Well, and with me, it was not something i could refute. He was the one making me that and then labeling me a slut. So it must have been true. Ironically, he thought i had sex with all my boyfriends and would lecture me about getting pregnant and how he would disown me. I never had sex with my boyfriends because i would dissociate and become a small child. broke up many relationships. hard to believe some people (my dad/abuser) can be such a**holes.

i agree with the post that suggested that maybe yor mom called you that to take the real blame off herself for not protecting you. That is horrible and neglectful - to know about it and not stop it. Nearly as bad as the abuse itself.
Many hugs.
kiya