[Lexicon78]

My bf wants me to do things that I'm not comfortable doing yet. He doesn't understand that my last relationship was so abusive and terrifying that I can't. I loved my gf so much and she just neglected me, held a knife on me, and brought in men to have sex with me.

I can't explain enough how hurt I was by her actions. I wanted her, not the men. Now I'm with a man and don't know how to not let my past relationship interfere. I'm trying to be good for him, but I can't when I've been hurt so badly.

I want things to work out with him, but if only he could understand. He's always making jokes about me being with a woman and it hurts because he won't keep in mind that it was a bad relationship.

I hurt. Plain and simple. When will the pain end for me and when can I move on?

[ktp]

big ((((((((((((((((((((((((((Lexi)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) hugs. If you don't mind.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Wish I had some words of wisdom but my heart goes out to you.

Take Care.
Kim

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Lex are you in therapy?

It took me along time to be able to have a comfortable relationship, where when I didn't want to do something I was not forced like in the past.

I was also in an abusive relationship.

Only do what you are comfortable doing, no one has a right to try and make you do something that you do not want to do. Can you explain to your bf abit about the ex so then maybe he'll get a better understanding to the why?

It takes while to be able to be confortable in a relationship after stuff like that. Take all the time you need, and let yourself heal. Even if you have to take a step back from the relationship to better yourself then do that.

I'm sorry you are hurting so much, I know exactly how you feel. It took me 8 years to really be in a relationship that wasn't scary ect. Now i've been in that relationship for over 3 yrs now and I'm not scared anymore. I can say what I want, do what I want without the worry of being hurt.

Do what is best for you right now.

[SweetCrusader]

I agree with Sundance. It's important that your physical and emotional boundaries are respected as you heal. Your other relationship left scars that are going to take time to heal from. Your bf needs to understand that your ex-gf hurt you, and that what he is asking of you now is hurting you all over again by triggering similar feelings. Do you feel comfortable having a heart-to-heart with your bf about what those feelings are, where they come from, and why they are being triggered by what he wants from you? I hope you can work things out so that you can feel safe

((((Lexi)))) <--only if you want hugs

Angela

[gloria]

Maybe having a heart to heart conversation with him could really help.

Does he know clearly how much it hurts you when he jokes about your relationship with your ex gf?
Does he know how badly you want things to work out with him?

Maybe just asking him to sit down and listen to you for 10 mins and pouring out your heart to him will give him a better appreciation of who you are and how much patience and support you need from him will make a good change in your relationship with him.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((Lex)))))))) <-- if ok