[mommytojack]

I've never told this to anyone before in my entire life. I don't really understand it myself as I was young. When I was about 5 or 6 my friend who was abused and I engaged in sexual play for about one year (mounting and kissing). I didn't understand what she was making me do at the time or what I was feeling. I don't remember much but being so little it really has affected my ability to be intimate as an adult. Any insight?

[Kiya]

sorry - no insights.
i went through that also, but we were older -2nd and 3rd grade. she initiated all the games. i know nothing of her life history and she moved shortly after.

[bchlyn]

i am sorry i didn't respond to your post yesterday... i had to step away for a bit... not yours but some of the posts were really triggering me and i was having a hard time staying in an adult frame of mind...
unfortunately acting out is what children that age do to help them process what is happening to them...children that aren't abused begin to explore their bodies at that time also... the way i found out that my son had been abused was through his play with an older child... she was very sexual for her age and was engaging in not age appropriate play... when i spoke to my son about it ... the fact that he had been molested came out... it was just about the hardest thing i ever had to do ... but well worth the pain ... he is doing well now.... much better then i am... i am just now beginning to deal with my issues... one of the keys for his healing was our t... he was/is a real blessing in our lives... if your not in t that would help....i am sorry that happened to you...lyn

[Cyran0]

mtj, there was a lot of sexual activity in my childhood and almost all with other children. In some cases, the children were older and I consider that abuse. In other cases, they were kids my age and I regard those kids as being as confused as I was at the time.

But what I have found is that all of it, exploitive or not, had a profound impact on how I developed sexually and I still deal with these issues in therapy.

The simple truth is that kids aren't ready to process sexual activity. As an adult you take in the whole experience with all its intricacies and implications but as a kid, thoughts and emotions hit you as fragments that you don't fully understand. The uncertainty and confusion these fragments cause easily transforms to worry, guilt and anxiety.

At least it did for me.

I should add that I do consider it the adult's responsibility to prevent opportunities for this type of occurance but I'm also a realist and know that parents don't catch everything their children do.

I would recommend talking to a therapist about your concerns. You have a right to resolve emotions attached to the incident and to have a healthy sexual life as an adult.

Cyran0