What is the nature of sexual abuse?

Oh lyn.... that would be hard to hold in your heart. =( I think "intense pain" is certainly appropriate. no decisions have to be made - it is ok to sit with it for as long as you need.

My dad stopped being my hero at 10. he was really not a good guy (except on rare occasions and those i started figuring out were the "flukes"). He was verbally cruel to everyone, physically abusive to my pets, was in physical fights with everyone in the family... the SA was merely an aside thing that I was in such an altered state for that I didn't even know on a cognitive level it was happening. When all those flashbacks came tumbling out, that solidified his role in my life (or lack thereof) and it still took me 10 years to stop being controlled by him; he owned my car, ins, cell phone and checked the calls, told me where to go and when.... now i am free. Finally, in my 30ies and have my first year anniversary of freedom coming up this summer.

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bchlyn said:
jully thank you for sharing this insight... i needed to hear this tonight,.. thank you...lyn

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((((( lyn )))))

kiya my dad passed away about 23 years ago... he was a good man in many ways... and i am just not sure what to do with all this ... i had always passed things off as him being my caregiver... but the truth is he never took that roll and the things that happened were anything but... lyn

=(

Hugs??

This really is a hard subject to approach. I have not been able to hate my abusers, but I have wanted to. Recently I had a patient who was 13 yrs old. He was born addicted to drugs and had been abused as a very young boy. This little boy abused his 10 yr old foster sister. The boy was taken from his foster family and tried to kill himself. When youcome face to face like that, it's hard not to pity the child. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but couldnt stop himself and saw death as his only way out. I'm not saying that what he did was right, but it made me think differently about abusers and what they may be going through.

And at 13, did he really have cognitive choice when that is all he's known?

My MD is a specialist in her field and tests ppl's brain chemistry. She said "normal is in the 160-180 range." A severely depressed person's can be in the 20-60 range. She said one cannot choose how they are feeling or even change what they think/feel at such levels - they have to be booseted, and it is possible.

There may be more to this than we thought, eh?

i was at a lecture on brain health... with a clinical psychologist that works with brain scans it was really interesting... they can tell from the scan which meds will work for which people..., and even if you had a concussion to the front temporal lobe you will have anger issues and difficulty planing and processing... it was really interesting...lyn