Was I abused?

Hello everyone..I first came here to be of help to anyone that needed a friend but after reading some posts I now need help with some questions..Ok where do I begin?..lol...My Dad abused my Mom and my Brother very badly but as far as I can remember I was never hit..I was terrified of him and he would yell at me all the time..and I had to witness him beating my momma and was helpless to help her...she finally got brave enough to leave him when I was 13...and even as an adult he still intimidated me and made me feel worthless..the day he died i hate to say was not a sad day for me..a weight was lifted off but i still feel the effects of his hateful ways..but my question is this...I have read the horror stories on here of abuse and it makes me wonder if i was truely abused because what i went through was nothing compared to what u guys have been through..so..am i a victim of abuse?

Welcome Rhoda..

You are a Survivor, and you should not feel you have to gage the traumatic events you were forced to endure against anyones else's...what you describe is a horrible way to live in a dysfunctional family dynamic, emotional abuse is just as destructive as physical abuse, and can have hurtful consequences on how one relates in relationships and with oneself....witnessing loved ones abused and then being neglected yourself, at any level, is wrong...we have a State liscence plate which states...."It shouldn't hurt to be a kid"...and hurt is hurt...whether thats emotional, physical, sexual, whatever...please take care and again welcome, and hope you find the support and caring enviroment that can help you on your healing journey..

Eva

rhoda may i say yes any form of fear felt by an individual is abuse because threatening behaviour is not right in any adult or older member as they should know intimidation on a younger being will be effective.

you were mentally abused with what you saw and what yu felt

i wish you well

keep smiling

Rhoda, welcome!
Sometimes the road in front of us is the one who makes us look back. And I would say yes. Abuse is anything you go trhu that is disrespectful and fear.
I think being aware of what we are and what we had endure is what makes us so special and I really appreciate you coming here to be of help.
~hugs~

Rhoda. Welcome to PC.. I think you will find lots of supportive folks here ready and willing to help ya out anytime they can.

I agree that you were abused.. even just watching the abuse was emotionally abusive to you. Don't feel like you have to compare your history to anyone else's... your pain is just as important, and your healing is what matters.

Talk about it as much as you can so you can be free of it.

Peace

Hi Rhoda, I join the othres in affirming that a houseful of fear is an abusive house. This is a very good place to vent and question and sort yourself out..... Welcome!

Yes the abuse or trauma you experienced is real.
and valid.

I dont believe in comparing peoples experiences.

I think you can't measure what other people are going through or went through. I think sometimes people who measure and judge are being unreasonable.

It's your experience and it's real!!

me

Most definitely! Take good care, Dottie

Going by what you have posted I personally think you may have been at the very least emotionally abused.

Dont compare whether or not you were abused and severity based on what we say. See everyone has their own flight or fight tollorance level of what their bodys and minds consider abusive. Some things that I consider abusive other people would not feel is abusive for them and things that I consider to be normal others experiencing the same thing would not consider it abusive. What is considered abusive from one person to another is how they experience the sitaution for exmple I don't consider my therapist being bold enough to tell me she thinks I am headed the wrong way or doing something the wrong way (now that I know she has my best interest at heart) but yet other people in therapy would consider a therapist telling them to stop doing something they are doing and being bold about it as being abusive. I know a few people that had loud deep voiced fathers that they consider as not abusing them, but just because of the type of voice that parent had reminded them of a different abuser so they were scared of them even though the father never hit them. Since the fathers abuse was always focused on the mother they were never afraid of being abused by that father. I know alot of people who's fathers abused their mothers actually went up against the father during that abuse of the mother to help the mother get away from the father even while the father is swinging away that child tried to protect the mother by attacking the father getting in the middle of the fighting, hitting the father, jumping on the fathers back, arms, legs in efforts to stop him from beating the mother.

Only YOU can say what YOU persieved as being abusive for you.

Hang in there.

Thank you everyonr for ur words of support...u guys r great