[emwell]

This evening, out of the blue, my Mom informed me that my biological father raped her. This happenned New Years Eve 1964/65. I'm not sure how I should have reacted. I told her that it would not surprise me if he did. Years ago I asked my mom if she thought this maniac was capable of sexual abuse of a child. At first she said no, but then called me back and said that she had NO CLUE what he was capable of. My Mom swears that she was pregant before my sperm donator raped her. Therefore my sister is not the result of a rape.

I was confused as to why my Mom could marry such a monster. But she was young and scared. She also agrees that had she not married him, she never would have gotten me. She thinks that is the best thing.

I have heard horror stories before, and read how people have handled them. How do I deal with the fact that the man I loved and looked up to as a child (daddy's girl here)raped my Mom.

I have been estranged from the man who helped me into this world for almost 20 years. It took a lot to restrain myself from calling the bastXXX and confronting him. Thank goodness that I thought it through. Had I called him, he would have just denied the whole thing. Just like last time.

Any idea what you would have done????

[ktp]

OH (((((((((((EMWELL))))))))))))))

What horrible news to receive! I am so sorry. I'm not sure I would've done anything different. You just have to do what you feel you must to make yourself feel better. He doesn't deserve a moment of your time and is definitely not worth the pain he has inflicted on your whole family. My thoughts are with you. I hope you find peace soon.

Take Care,
Kimberly.

[emwell]

Thank you Kimberly.
I hope to be able to squash all my crazy thoughts until Monday. I already called my doctor about my meds and quickly added in something about horrible news that she needs to remind me about on Monday. Knowing me I will black it out until just after my appointment.

I have techniques to deal with stuff like this, well not quite like this. I have learned not to immediately react. I now do my best to think before I act.

[ktp]

I'll be sending good thoughts your way until Monday. Probably seems like an eternity to you. I'm so sorry about this news and I am glad you contacted your doc and let her know there was something that really needed to be discussed. Do you carry a notebook with you?

I had to start doing that because I did the very same thing. Blacked out what I was meaning to say and then saying DANG when I remembered and didn't have the chance to tell. I started carrying around notebooks in my tote and would make little notes to myself regarding what I needed to tell my doc but knew I would forget.

I sure hope you can tap into your coping techniques and know that you can pm if you like or need someone to talk to.

Take Care of yourself,
Kimberly.

[NicoleB]

Kimberly,

The notebook is a good idea. I never thought of that. i do the same thing. I black out what I want or need to say and then have a DANG moment. I am going to try that. Thanks for the suggestion, even though it wasn't for me.
Nicole

[shakes]

(((emwell))))
I am so sorry that this has happened to you! I do not have much advice but I just wanted to let you know that I read your post and my best thoughts are with you.

Jessica

[ktp]

(((((Nicole))))

You're welcome. I'm glad my idea helped someone, that's great to know! I hope it helps you, it really did help me.

Take Care,
Kimberly.

[emwell]

It is a great idea Kimberly. If I was more organized, it could work for me as well. Right now I write things down on the computer. Sometimes I print stuff out to bring to therapy with me. I haven't managed to share it with my Doctor yet, but I am working on it.

I was in such a bad mood at work last night. But I did well. I refrained from yelling at most people. I was hoping Bill Cosby's show would cheer me up, but I couldn't even watch him. When there was nothing to do, I hid in the office by myself. I haven't cried yet, but I am sure that will come Monday when I start to talk. My doctor wanted to discuss this stuff on the phone, but I knew that would not be a good idea. I told her that if I talked before Monday, I didn't think I would be able to function. One more day of work, then I don't have to function again until Thursday.