Trusting Again

Didn't put trigger warning, didn't think it needed it... but be safe if you're in a really bad place.

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Can you ever trust again after you've been so abused? I look at my "friends" who I trusted for years, I think of how they hurt me, how I had pushed those memories away for so long. I look at any of my friends now and the first thing I think is, I wonder if they hurt me or if they will hurt me.

I read anger into everything, if a friend looks at me in the wrong way I assume they're going to hurt me like so many others did.

I'm scared when I post my true feelings I'll be ridiculed and mocked. People can say they don't hate me, but I find it hard not to read hate into things. I'm a mess, I woke up this morning and realized I'm scared of everyone.

And asking for help... I can't. I realized I have so much trouble asking for help. Someone will offer help and I can't take it. A friend will say, call anytime. I actually can't bring myself to call them first, I have to wait until they actually call me, otherwise I feel I am being weak and I'm prone to being hurt.

I feel so guarded but I know why I put these barriers up. I'm a mess. All this blame, the feelings, feeling alone and without help... Sorry to whine.

You're not whining, to be honest I found your post helpful. I feel the same way. My T has a hard time helping me because she says I have "trust issues" and my "defenses" are so strong. I think I'm too new in the process to provide helpful advice, but I can appreciate how you feel and try to support you.
Hugs-Angel

((((((((((((((((((Griffe and Angel))))))))))))))))))))))

when you have been let down and treated horribly as a child you are bound to suffer trust issues .... with the right therapy and time and being kind to yourself you will gradually begin trusting again. Not everyone in the world is cruel and abusive ... unfortunately, the people who should have cared for you and protected you let you down ,,, it's hard, but you will learn to trust again one day if you work at it. I do think people who have been abused in some way learn to become good judges of character along the way .... life will always thow people who are untrustworthy our way, we learn to sort the wheat from the chaff eventually .... treat others how you would like to be treated, be firm with those who try to take you for a ride .... don't let them walk over you.... maybe assertiveness classes would be an idea .... i could follow that advice myself actually take care Griffe .... You will trust again ..... let yourself believe and remember not everyone in this world is bad .... love you, Kerry xoxoxoxoxoxo

i'm sorry... you think you cazn open up and share but then you get scared because peopel dont understand... never can trust again can ty for replies everyon.

i know it feels like noone understand you.. and we never can completely understand what you, or anyone, feels, means... To an extend though many of us can.
Maybe all those suggestions you just aint ready for it yet? Maybe its to soon? Feel free to ask for support or a hug.. just tell us if you dont want advice thats fine too
With all the crap lately its only normal not to be able to trust people etc
Maybe later when things have calmed down you can try any of those things people suggest
For now just wanting to let you know that I care and that I am here for you ...

Blue

You know, I ask myself the same question everyday. I can't even fully trust my T so I can pour out my pain (she only knows the tip of the iceberg). I struggle with trust everyday,trust is the hardest thing. I wish I had an answer for you.
Hugs-Angel

((((((((((((((( griffe ))))))))))))))))