[stupidme]

Hi everyone I am new here and need some help real bad. I've been in hospital recently after trying to take my own life (for the fourth time) and I just feel like such a failure. I was raped 4 years ago and just feel like my life went down the grid then too!

[wisewoman]

Please reach out to a professional mental health agency as soon as you can. Please discuss your current relationship which might be contributing to these feelings. You are not STUPID! You are hurting and need professional treatment as soon as possible. Call your local mental health agency or ask your doc for a referral. You deserve this and it will help.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

<font color="red">Welcome,
If you have not dealt with this issue of the rape that happened 4 yrs ago then that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with.
No one can deal with this kind of thing on their own, no matter what they say. It's a scary thing to go through, anything like that is scary. I'd suggest going in to talk to someone professional to help you learn to deal with this and learn to heal and cope.

I was plauged with PTSD for 8 long years and just recently have been free from it. I've deal with abuse when I was 16 who also threatened rape, and I was raped once by him (Even though at the time I didn't realize that's what it was) he was abusive in everyway.

I was also dealing with numerous sexual assaults, sexual harrassment and another rape threat.

If I didn't have my psychatrist to help me deal with this I think i'd be lost.

Now i'm confident, I can live a life I want and not be plauged with memories, flashbacks, shame guilt, body memories, dreams etc etc.... each day gets better.

You will get there too. Hang in there. </font>

HUGSSS I'm glad you made it here. Sounds like you have had a great many set backs. Are you currently in therapy?

esthersvirtue

[stupidme]

yes I am currently in therapy with my local minister but it's not going too well.... think we've become to close and too "attached" but still hoping x

[SweetSunshine]

Hon,
I too tried therapy with my priest, and he was a very nice understanding man too my age. But truthfully, something this big cannot be handled bye a minister or a priest or any man of the cloth. You need to see a therapist hon.They will have the training in this that you need . And it is an awful violent and crude way to have your life taken away by a person in this way. In my case it was one person and then a gang rape ( my half brother and his friends). So I know your pain. I know why you feel like you are stupid , but you arent. There is nothing you could have done to stop this. Its not your fault its His fault. So please stop thinking that ok? Take care and Hope you will feel better about life and have more hope soon . I am offernig hugs here if you want them.

(((((((( SM )))))))))

Hugz~
Tryin2bme

[Maya]

I agree - a priest or pastor is not who you need to see about this. I suffered sexual abuse as a child and it has taken my therapist 10 months to dig it out of me so we can deal with it. Please, please, get a real clinical psychologist or psychiatrist to assist you with this problem. It is too big for a nonprofessional to handle. And I am sorry for the name you chose for yourself - as you get better perhaps DocJohn can let you choose a new name - you are NOT STUPID. You are a victim.

[MacD]

Dear Friend: There is a wonderful line in the first Princess Diaries movie (my daughters favorite) that I try to repeat to myself - "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Your self worth is not determined by how others treat you. Don't get me wrong.....I have the same dark places and feelings that you do. I question my worth and wonder sometimes if I am a failure too. But keep fighting. You are worth it and so am I.