I decided... Trigger

to continue on with my relationship.. with the "abuser".... new to my life.. exactly like my ex-husband.. is a new relationship..

When it was all... said.... all done... at least I know.. know.. that this man is an abuser.. I know exactly what to expect...


You see... the people.. that I called my family.. my friends.. and certainly the man I called husband abused me.. they called it everything BUT abuse.. but.. abuse it was..abuse it still is....

The final straw.. was my son... my son's g/f ... my ex-husband.. and my son's g/f's mom..

Yazza... all banded together against me.. abusing me.. in their little soap opera...

and.. here I am.. I supported my son finacially... and in every way.. a parent can and does.. his father NOT..

the g/f known since.. pre-school.. the "wicked witch".. really.. I have given.. turned the cheek.. helped.. supported.. loved.. you name it...

and my ex-- well 6 years of college... years of supporting him... me brusies.. broken everything...

and the mom... she wants my son... she wants him... for her daughter..so... she agrues.. all's fair... and she plots and plans.. and plays footies.. with my ex...

hence the soap opera...

and me... sick..slipped on my ED... passed out too many times to count Friday night...

so... this man.. may be.. a nasty person.. but hells bells... he's nicer than my family and friends..

what a HOOT????? RIGHT??????????

and.. LOL... the real JOKE on me.. is nobody cares...

Yazza............ ya gotta love it.......

You have a choice, you have been through enough abuse already. You don't need to be in another abusive relationship. Please take care of yourself and make the right choice.

((((((((((((freewill))))))))))) Please think about your decision rationally instead of emotionally. You have been hurt so terribly...please don't chose to let yourself be hurt more. Yes, you know he's an abuser so you know what to expect--pain, hurt, disrespect, irrationaly anger. You don't deserve it. Be safe, please.

I think.. I do deserve it.. the abuse.. and I really don't mind..

I just... turn numb... can't feel anything.. so is ok..

I always wonder why we're drawn to more of the same people. I think because it's familiar to us and we don't know any other way. We wouldn't know what to do if someone was nice to us. Well in a genuine way. If anyone's nice to me, I always assume they're going to abuse me in the end. I bet a lot of this is the same for you, at least you know what he's up to and where he's coming from, so you know what to expect. I think right now he's serving as an alliance of your own since the others are ganging up on you. I think that's another reason you're drawn to him, you've sought your own supporter even though he's abusive.

Please, please be careful and try to take care of yourself. It may feel good to be doing it now, but think about how it's going to feel later. Probably won't feel so good then. We don't want to see you get hurt even more. You've been through enough, we don't want more added on your piles of hurt. Let us do what we can for you. We're out in cyberspace but we're here to listen and lend some support in whatever way we can.

You really don't deserve it. Regardless of what you've done or think you've done to deserve it...no one does derserve to be abused in any way from another person. I, too, think it's true that maybe we wouldn't know what to do if someone was nice to us, but I think it's worth the try. I wish you safety and peacefulness. I also wish you could see in you what those of use here see in you...wonderful, kind, hopeful and helping individual.