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#1
Oct 19, 2008, 08:00 PM
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I don't want to think about it.
I don't want to have to deal with it. I don't want to have to deal with the repercussions of what happened. I don't want to go to therapy. I don't want to even remember anymore. I don't want to freak out at people if they touch me sometimes. I just DO NOT want to live like this anymore. I just want to get over it. Does anyone ever get over it?   
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Last edited by Christina86; Oct 19, 2008 at 11:21 PM. Reason: added trigger icon. |
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#2
Oct 19, 2008, 08:29 PM
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gentle and caring hugs to you
 I don't have an answer for you, but I can be here.
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____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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 Christina86
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#3
Oct 19, 2008, 09:08 PM
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((((((((((((Christina))))))))))))
sorry l wish l had answers to your questions but im sorry that l dont know that we are here with you sending safe and gentle hugs if you want them take care and stay safe mandyxxx 
__________________
 "never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.... few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"
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| Christina86
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#4
Oct 19, 2008, 11:28 PM
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(Added a trigger icon for this) I thought up something else to complain about.
Why is it my first impulse to further try to victimize myself, and retraumatize myself? ISNT FAIR. Stupid mind. Stupid body. Stupid, just so d!#! stupid. I just want to be free of this. I don't want to be stuck on this forever. I don't want to be stuck hurting myself because of someone else. Rationally, I know all the "right" stuff... Why do my emotions have to always muck things up? I don't want to think about sex. I don't want to make what happened worse than what it was. Heck, it wasnt that BAD. I went through NOTHING compared to what so many have had to deal with. Which makes me feel like an even worse person. How dare I sit here and complain when others have been hurt so much more badly. Yeah, I know... no comparing your stuff to someone elses... but its so hard sometimes. I just dont want to keep doing this to myself anymore. I thought I did good. I gave up self-injuring. I gave up drinking. Ive tried to get over stuff. AND YET IM STILL F@&!+!!$!$! MESSED UP. grumble. Oh boy. the therapist I see on the 27th has her work cut out for her. Im a freaking basketcase wh0o cant sit still and keeps hurtingh herselfd emtoinally and cant even write right right now because im going a mile an mindute in my mind and my hands are wiriting and my mind just wont SHUT UP. I feel like I'm insane. I'm so gonna regret this entire thread tomorrow. maybe it will go byebye.
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#5
Oct 20, 2008, 12:42 AM
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(((((((((((((christina))))))))))))))
it shouldnt go it should stay and then people will take hold of you and embrace you knowing that at the moment things are bad for you and they too can support , guide and care for you atthis lonely and painful time, hope all goes well on the 27th but in the meantime please take care and stay safe know that we are here if you needus lots of love mandyxxxx safe and healing hugs if you want them
__________________
"never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.... few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"
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| Christina86
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#6
Oct 20, 2008, 02:36 AM
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im blarghing too... ((((Christina))))
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| Christina86
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#7
Oct 20, 2008, 09:59 AM
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Christina, the only way to the other side is through, not over or under. Yes, your mind knows all the right things but it is your emotional self that needs healing and this is the part of you that you are holding back....
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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