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  #1  
Old Feb 03, 2009, 09:21 AM
melissa1202's Avatar
melissa1202 melissa1202 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: in a state of confusion
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I don't understand myself. Just a year ago I was not nearly as freaked out about normal duties. Granted I was in my hometown but that never seemed to matter before. Even when the abuse was taking place I was still me. I was outgoing and brave. But now just the thought of going to the store and laundry mat makes me shake. What is going on? i have never been scared of public places before, i was the one who wouldn't sit still. I don't like this feeling. it makes me feel weak. Has this ever happen to anyone of you? What helped you? All ideas welcome. And appreciated. Thanks for all you guys support.

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  #2  
Old Feb 03, 2009, 12:18 PM
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byoungusa byoungusa is offline
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Location: in my head
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I'm new here but I can relate to what you said, you were the brave one, you never sat still. I to was like that, in fact I was always the go-to girl. I was the one everybody depended on in the family, I was the tough one the solid one, the workaholic, all business, the one that got things done. Then things started coming apart for me. It started alittle at a time,its cost me alot and I am now pretty much housebound, can't answer the phone, can't answer the door. Had to decide how small my life could get before it wasn't a life anymore. How much responsability was I willing to put on my husband. I want me back maybe with alot more balance, I finally realized I needed help after I got physically ill and it just freaking floored me. I got a chronic pain condition, this forced me into therapy, which forced me into dealing with complex PTSD. I don't want to keep this stuffed down anymore, I don't want to be afraid, I don't want to pretend I'm dealing anymore, it nearly ate me up. Now slowly I'm learning to cope, and be honest, I hope that truth will make me free. I hope this makes some sense. I really do hope things get better for you, it doesn't have to be scarey forever.
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  #3  
Old Feb 03, 2009, 01:19 PM
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SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
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Location: CA
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Sounds like maybe you haven't had any therapy for the abuse? It's most probably anxiety that is causing this fear in you or maybe some depression, or... a combination of both. They usually come hand in hand.

If you don't want to see a therapist, which I would strongly suggest, you might want to talk to your MD about anxiety. There are anxiety meds you can take to help with that.
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Thanks for this!
melissa1202
  #4  
Old Feb 04, 2009, 08:59 AM
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melissa1202 melissa1202 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: in a state of confusion
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Thats exactly hoow I feel. When I used to be able to stand up for myself and now even when my feelings get hurt. Like rmost recent my husband who would never strike me or purposely hurt me, but he was talking ***** to some woman on the computer in Cali. The whole time I finally got some sleep. When I found out this morning I called him on it and he didn't even apoligize till I said something. He basically told me that it wasn't meant the way I took it. Well, after being treated like dirt for so long why should I expect it to change. It just went from one way to another. I feel doomed to be upset by one thing or another for the rest of my life.
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