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#1
Feb 22, 2009, 02:37 AM
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when i was about 11 i was hanging about with an older boy and one time in his room he started making suggestions about what i do with my penis as in masterbating and that.
i didnt even know what girls was back then so am still confused what went on. as i didnt know what girls was and that he talked me into doing male sex and this went on for about 2 months untill i relized his mates was laughing at me saying can they have a go,,i then relized what i was doing wrong and now wonder if it was my fault or was i abused or mislead in anyway. i supose i got to my ripe age of 32 and it kills me thinking about it that i need an answer to this but every day i think was i abused or was this just expermenting. i didnt even know what masterbating was at time so im sure it wasnt my idea. i didnt even start thinking about this till i was getting to 28 year old but now it kills me every day : ( if you could let me know your thoughts on this it might help me,thx Last edited by Christina86; Feb 23, 2009 at 07:33 PM. Reason: added trigger icon |
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#2
Feb 24, 2009, 02:08 AM
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What age was the ‘older’ boy?
Abuse or experimenting? It could have been a bit of both. The reason it took so long before it began to bother you is because your body and your mind work to protect you from stuff that may be hard to deal with. It is a good sign that you are thinking about this now, it means that you are strong enough now in mind and body to deal with the memory. And the way to deal with it is to accept that it happened, it might have been a mistake, you might have been quite foolish, you might have been used, but it’s all over now and whatever your mind made of it at the time, it’s now time to heal, to let it go and enjoy the rest of your life. |
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#3
Feb 24, 2009, 10:19 AM
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hi peter and welcome to pc!!!
 based on what you posted i'd say it was a little of both...experiementation, your not understanding what was going on and some sexual abuse issues involved brought on by the older boy. do you have a therapist? since this life event has surfaced a therapist can help you understand what went on and put it in the proper perspective for you, imho. let us know what you decide to do....yes i think abuse was involved and you were the victim.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#4
Feb 24, 2009, 10:49 AM
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I think it was abuse because you said he was older. I am sorry that that happened to you. These things just can't be let go. These events can mess with our development. These things can be worked through, though, so you can heal and move forward.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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