How do you...

first of all im sorry ur feeling this way but i kno the feelings believe me i do. i dont really have much to offer but support since im still barely getting by. but i definitley kno the feeling of not wanting to go on or tell cuz ive been there for a long time. i didnt tell for almost six years and even then i only told one of my teachers because they put two and two together. i begged her not to tell anyone to and it was so hard for me because i was only in 8th grade. but i kno she was only trying to help and that it would come out sooner or later. and i kno the feeling of no one listening cuz the investigation went on for 3 years and nothing happened. i still can barely talk about it and dont want to go on sometimes but i kno that i have to cuz if i dnt then he truely wins and i cant let that happen. if i can go through all that and still keep going then i truley believe u can. mabye u should get counseling to help u or something cuz u shouldnt have to keep this happening and a secret. i truley hope u get help but only when and if ur ready. i believe in u and u should believe in urself too. im here for support and to talk if u need to.

ive just tried about everything and i just dont know what other options there are anymore
close to just giving up
sorry i just got a bad headache and dont want to sleep.. keep reliving the stuff bah
hate this life

lately.. ive felt a lot like this.. sorta...

this world sucks



miss you little bro

guess what...
I hadn't been feeling well all night already but went to school anyway.. Miss enough as it is already.. Anyway creep was there too and started to talk to me
I'm not sure what about but i did throw up all over his shoes and pants...
He didn't like that much so i guess he went home to get some new clothes on
None of my fosterparents were home so instead of going home I was laying in the room they use for such things. He lives nearby so he was gone and back within half a hour. He found me in that room of course and well you know i dont think i have to say what happened.. just that he was really mad...
I must have looked distressed because atleast half a hour after he was gone another teacher who had originally brought me there came in and ask what's wrong, what happened... and appereantly I told her. I do not remember this at all.. everything after the creep doing what he did... i dont remember. I don't remember that they brought me to the hospital i do remember being there with these people asking all kinds of questions... I don't know if I answered any of them... I remember my fosterparents coming to pick me up from the hospital and noticing my fostermother had cried. I remember going home and crawling into bed and now i'm here. My fosterparents came in once to tell me they had arrested the creep and i think they've been checking on me now and then but it's mostly all a blur to me. I hope the police won't want me to answer any more questions i dont know if i can do that as well.

Blue, words are hard for me today, but I couldn't let this one go by. Sending you lots of gentle warm wishes. This is such an incredibly difficult time for you. And yet some part of you was strong enough or couragous enough to stand up and take a step towards stopping it. Sending big big kudos to you. Is so important to take good care of yourself (both in taking that step and being gentle with self now while things are still mega rough). Sending gentle thoughts your way ~~~~~~~