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Old May 06, 2009, 10:13 AM
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teary_me teary_me is offline
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Location: australia
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i hate what has happened to me but its worse that im kinda reliving it now. the flashbacks an nightmares are just as bad as the real thing.
*only read if not trigg, just highlight it*
last night i was sitting here alone when the dog found his way into the house an he scared me. i had flashbacks of when my stepdad got a dog to penitrate me an lick me down there *sobs* i felt so disgusting that i si an had a shower an scrubed

i want the flashbacks an everything to stop. i want help with it but scared to tell anyone incase they think im disgusting or anything
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i feel disgusting

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  #2  
Old May 06, 2009, 11:56 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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You are not disgusting Teary! I'm sorry that that happened to you..........
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

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  #3  
Old May 06, 2009, 12:52 PM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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You are soooo not alone with the flashbacks and feelings of disgust. I feel though I tend to be harder on myself than others would be of me. I'm learning a lot about that in group therapy.

When I read the highlighted text, I felt sad for you, that it happened to you...but there was absolutely no feelings of disgust towards you. I can assure you of that.
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  #4  
Old May 06, 2009, 01:40 PM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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You stepdad was disgusting. Not you.

(((((((( teary me )))))))))
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  #5  
Old May 06, 2009, 02:30 PM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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(((((((((((((teary_me)))))))))))))))))

No, you're not disgusting. I feel really bad your stepdad did that to you. Wasn't fair, or right. You are still good, okay?? You've always been, even if it doesn't feel like it.

Nobody would think you're disgusting. Only your stepdad for doing that is disgusting. Do tell someone (do you have T?) though. Safe hugs - do you know any ways to keep yourself grounded?
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i feel disgusting
  #6  
Old May 06, 2009, 03:06 PM
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kittenkirk kittenkirk is offline
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Posts: 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by teary_me View Post
i hate what has happened to me but its worse that im kinda reliving it now.

i want help with it but scared to tell anyone incase they think im disgusting or anything
I know you hate it...it's a terrible thing to have happened to you but you are not what happened to you. You are precious beautiful woman who is loving, caring and giving....I know that cause you're that to me.

Please try to remember that you are loved and that terrible thing that has happened can't hurt you anymore ....it's in the past....try to think of good things...like your yummy chocolates and ice cream bars...think of nice things.

I love you and I wish I could take away all your pain...Please always remember that you are a very precious and special person and a good friend.
  #7  
Old May 06, 2009, 07:56 PM
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Midnight Sky Midnight Sky is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: Somerset uk
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Please don't feel alone, it might mean nothing to you but reading this tonight has made me feel less alone. You are not digusting, I know the feeling though, just listen to us and know that you are not. Its your stepdad that is disgusting. Try to stay safe. I am thinking of you.
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....the inner battle with what has already happened to me will never go....
....its there then just when you think its gone its back
  #8  
Old May 06, 2009, 08:42 PM
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sabby sabby is offline
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Location: Southwest of Northeast
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((((((((((((( Teary_me ))))))))))))))))))

I can surely understand how you are feeling

Sweety, you took a huge step posting this thread. From the responses you have gotten, no one thinks that you are disgusting!! You did a very brave thing by posting this. Now maybe, with the help of PC membership you can find some more strength to talk to a T about this. Even if all you can do is print out what you wrote and hand it to a T, that would be huge and a wonderful step towards healing and feeling better about yourself.

Remember this.....you did not do this to yourself, someone else forced it on you.....big difference there. You did nothing wrong.


sabby
  #9  
Old May 08, 2009, 09:00 PM
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chaotic13 chaotic13 is offline
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attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




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