Pothead looking for answers

I want the same thing as many potheads do or did... To be able to get high occasionally. I don't think that it is possible for me. Anytime I was able to stop for a while, I eventually get some again, start off slowly and before I know it I am back to smoking every 3 hours except for sleep of course. I need to get sobriety. I have other mental issues on top of addiction.

I can't imagine myself never smoking pot again. Especially when it seems like it is getting more and more acceptable every day. Plus there's the States legalizing it. Am I actually going to quit just before I get to the "homeland?" 
But seriously that just seems like a nightmare.

I have been getting high for 23 years or so. I was the one with the High Times calendar on her wall. I had a lifetime subscription to High Times at one time. I think my ex made me cancell it. I have norml t shirts. I have been waiting for this day of legalization to come but wait... I'm getting off the bus. What?!

I swear I feel like I am expecting to bury an old friend.

My little sister and I have been able to bond so much because of weed. We have spent a lot of time together sober too, but we might never have been able to repair the crap our parents did to make us mortal enemies as kids if not for the weed. It brought us together.

I guess I have a few big pressing questions. If I decide to follow this sobriety path, I am going to also go to local NA groups because the closest MA group is over 500 miles away. Does anyone have any experience with NA? Will they really accept me? What happens if I relapse a few times? Can I really "keep coming back?"

Any 12step program will help..even AA.......They deal with all addiction although the main one might be drugs or alcohol or both. It helps me with my food addiction. I have been a member of al-anon for 15years and it has helped with so much, not just my two alcoholics in my life. Good luck. The hardest part for you will be walking in the door the first time! You can even go to a meeting high. No one judges! Its all up to you to decide to recover

I've been to one AA meeting this week and really felt out of place. I then went to an NA meeting on Friday & Saturday this week. I felt more at home but still like an outsider. Fridays meeting was the only one that I went sober. Maybe that's why I enjoyed it more.

But what about all my hesitation due to the legalization light I can see at the end of the tunnel? Another question. If I go, and participate, and get clean with the thought in the back of my head 'I'll smoke again some day'... How can I look at those around me trying to help me in the eyes? Better yet how do I rationalize it to myself? I guess what I'm really asking is, if I can't say without a doubt that I don't have any intention of smoking again, should I even go to the meetings? Won't I just be toxic to the group?

Does anyone think I could pull an elder aside and ask these specific questions? I mean mentioning pot & all because I noticed no one really mentions their drug of choice.

You are not the only one in meetings that can't say without a doubt we won't use again. In fact none of us can say it. Yes the saying keep coming back is meant. It doesn't matter if you are high at the meeting or get high after just keep coming back. You are not a burden or dragging anyone down. Everyone is in a different space and we all just want to help each other.

I went to drug and alcohol treatment and when I went in I swore I would never give up pot and I was very serious about sobriety. I had an 1/8th stashed at home. I heard something in a MA meeting that made me decide I had to give it up too. I called my wife, told her where the stash was and asked her to throw it out. I have been clean and sober twenty years but I have had some slips on pot. We only have today is what matters. One day at a time is how we do it.

And what the hell difference does it make if it is legal or illegal??? Did the fact that it's illegal ever make it hard for you to get or stop you from smoking??? I don't think so. Alcohol is legal but I know I can't drink today. Or I could but I choose not to and the only reason I have that choice today is because of AA.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

And yes, pull any old timer aside and talk to them about your concerns. I know NA is tough because there are a lot of hard core addicts who might thing pot is like cigarettes. They might even smoke and say they are sober because for them it is better than heroin. Doesn't matter. What matters is your addiction and the fact you want to do something about it. Keep coming back for sure.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks for reading my post and relieving some of my fears. I feel good about it all... For now, but I'm sticking with it.

i just tell people i dont smoke
i dont want to quit because it helps me so much, so if others cant understand that then they just need to mind their own business

As a former addict/alcoholic with over 20 years clean and sober, I don't see chemicals as an option for coping with my life. That being said, weed is probably better for some people than psych meds imo. OP, keep trying meetings with an open mind, you will eventually hear something that will click with your situation. If you feel a connection with someone at a meeting, they'll be happy to speak to you privately about your questions...

Yes pot can be tricky for those of us with mental health issues and psyche meds.

However the OP is looking for answers to their every three hour pot addiction.

I think a big problem for this former pot head is I got the mindset that I couldn't do anything unless I was stoned. And then tolerance builds real fast and you are at smoking five times a day.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Finally, after years of a joint in one hand and a drink in the other, I knew I needed to get away from it all. It was ruling my life, it was no longer my own. I went to AA primarily but also got a lot of personal exploration and learning from al-anon.

Go where you feel comfortable. Don't worry if pot gets legal or not, cross that bridge when it comes. Take it a moment at a time and build from there. Being free from alcohol, pot and other illicit drugs is a better way to live. You can do it!