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#1
Dec 13, 2011, 01:18 AM
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i really dont know what or why i am typing this i just feel like too much bad stuff is happening too fast and i am not able to control any of them...it is so noisy in my head and i cant get it to stop...i feel like i am a stranger in my own body and it doesnt help that i feel like a stranger in my own house...as though i am taking up space and someone elses air...i dunno what to do or say i can barely get out the words that need to be said...and i dunno how to talk sometimes...i feel like i am just moving from body to body noone is getting anything accomplished...i hate that i have to feel this out of control...also this time of year is not good for any one of our moods...whichever ones those happen to be...i try to make sense to people...but just cant...this pain i am feeling...is worse than physical pain...and i wanna get rid of it...i wanna just throw it out the window...feeling very unreal...and dont know what time or day it is anymore...just want to lay in bed and do nothing but cry...just wanna keep going away until so lost in the maze of which is my head...and drown out the noise within...i know i am rambling on and on...but this is really helping us a lot...not sure how or why...but it is...we have nothing to really do anyway...we want nothing to do...except for to work on our bad days and our days of feeling so young that we dont even know words...all she does is act like an infant who is learning how to walk...so paralyzed by our fear...not sure what else to say...so i will stop writing now...thank you for trying to make sense of this nonsensical rambling...i really do appreciate it!!!
 
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MLH  ((BLOSSOM))
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 Anonymous200140, GypsyRosalie, Lexi232, needfixing, such is life...
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#2
Dec 13, 2011, 06:09 AM
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Sometimes a listening ear that you can talk to is help within itself. because you don't have to keep it all inside, you have a way to expell it outwardly.
(((((((((((Blossom)))))))))))))) Does Calming music calm the voices down? A song with a pretty voice to it? We are listening to one, but it's kinda a very depressing song, and some tend to get more depressed while we feel like the songs gets the words out that we can not, and that someone understands. (It's black rose by doro . it was found on youtube a while back) do you have any prn's? for anxiety? or help when your anixous? or anything that calms you down? or anything that slows your thoughts down? (usually normal benedryl does that to us after a day or two taking it, but it is okay to take with our meds and does not counteract.) also certain other meds which we know is not okay to mention for it can trigger some........ (we do miss you)(and we are so happy to have you here!!)
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| blossommayflower27
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 blossommayflower27
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#3
Dec 13, 2011, 11:18 AM
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Quote:
thank you so much Lexi...(((*HUGS*)))for you...was able to take prn last night...havent listened to alanis in awhile...never thought that she could be so soothing...but will get my other mp3 player out and blast her music like there is no tomorrow...knowing really is half the battle isnt it...unfortunatley part of me still denies this is going on...but what can i say to them to help them to understand it will be ok...we just have different ways of looking at things and we dont know how to deal with it all...to all of us...everything makes too much sense and we all find this to be very overwhelming...we want to go away some more...but getting lost sure wont help matters any...just another path in which we have to carve in our minds and that is just too much!!!We all thank you for your reply...look forward to seeing you on here someday!!! take care...
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MLH ((BLOSSOM))
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| Lexi232
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| Lexi232
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#4
Dec 13, 2011, 08:49 PM
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Try breathing, to call down, do you like nature sounds or binary/iso tone sounds?
Maybe take a piece of paper and write down what every one wants, or type it up if your a quicker typer. Let them know all of their words will be written down, just for them to take turns and if they aren't going one at a time you can't write down what they want or need. If your able to do this, try to validate the ones that are healthy and safe to do. If there are any bad harmful wishes let them know you can understand how much they want something like that, but its best for your T to be able to help with something such as that. (I dont have any physically trying to harm me any right now so I dont know much as to how to hand that other than with a T). I ended up getting a journal a while back and got quite creative in it, let people have their say on their own pages and all, Luckie loves colors, and kind of got frustraighting for me, but she was happy once her page was full of the right colors in the right spots. She's one that hasn't came out much. only recently have any other than one for a very long time come out . Lots of hugs to all of you, my dearest friends! ~"overseear"
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| blossommayflower27
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| blossommayflower27
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#5
Dec 13, 2011, 09:16 PM
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we have like 9 journals...none of which we try to keep things as organized as possible...but but there are so many of us and we all wanna come out at one time and get it over with...that part is scary for the one in charge...we try to tell her it will be ok...but she just hides all of us away...she says she has no time for us to play...and when she does...she usually is off in her own little world...doing whatever she does...we want out...so badly...we want to thank you are we are all glad that you all are here to help as well...we feel more comfortable knowing that you all understand us...so thank you...!!!!!!!!!with light and love sent your way!!!
sunshine!!!
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MLH ((BLOSSOM))
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| Lexi232
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| Lexi232
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#6
Dec 15, 2011, 03:49 AM
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*Lots of hugs*!!
That can be pretty rough, when the host doesn't want to share or compromise... Is there a way this can be brought up to the T? Maybe certain times of the day or night an agreement can be reached to where that time is when someone gets to come out. And the host may be nervous about all at once, so if maybe between a two hour period, all who come out must promise to not harm, or to stay in a safety zone at first? The host may feel overwhelmed that there are so many of you, or feel out of control, maybe at the beginning only one can come out that would reassure her everything will go as agreed, then slowly work from there with the host? The host may be feeling scared as well. Perhaps the host would agree to overshadow and let one out while the host is overshadowing, and has the ability to regain control as soon as she wants? I know it's not very ideal or quick, but maybe the host would be willing to compromise if things went slower, and knew just what to expect. There's quite a few here, some we dont even know of. Some want out, while others dont. all want out usually all at the same time. Usually the littles want out for instant wants not caring about who asked first or who said first... some want nothing to do with coming out. and others want out. but usually dont stay long. im sorry, our head is really hazy today.. we are sick we think. but we wanted you to know that we care for all of you, and hope you can all be content 
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| blossommayflower27
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#7
Dec 15, 2011, 12:29 PM
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so right you are...i think that the slower i am with this...the less frustrated and safer i will feel with everyone...i really appreciate all the suggestions that you are giving...tis the season right???and the sun is now attempting to show himself here...so i think i will soak it up a bit...i will talk to ya soon...
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MLH ((BLOSSOM))
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| Lexi232
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#8
Dec 20, 2011, 01:10 PM
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| Lexi232
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| blossommayflower27, Lexi232
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#9
Feb 02, 2012, 01:21 AM
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My gosh, not nonsense at all. You make SO much sense. I feel I can appreciate everything you say. My good friend has DID and she shares many experiences with me, especially about pain and body states and noise and isolation. I know I don't know you but I have tremendous respect for you. You matter!!!
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| blossommayflower27
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| blossommayflower27
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#10
Feb 02, 2012, 04:46 AM
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MLH ((BLOSSOM))
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