Unusual Physical Reaction to Strong Emotions

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post this, or if I should post this in Survivors of Abuse. I've wondered about this for a very long time, but it's highly embarrassing to me, so please bear with me.

For as long as I can remember, when I feel an extreme emotion (anxiety, deep sadness, fear), part of my physical reaction is increased vaginal lubrication. For example, when I'm in a session with my T, and a topic comes up that is difficult for me to discuss, I'll have this reaction. But this has been going on for years and years. I have no idea if this is a normal response to increased stress, or if it's just my norm. I tried doing an online search, but I only found info on vaginal dryness, or excessive vaginal lubrication affecting sex.

I've been in therapy for a few months now, exploring my past. I'm starting to deal with the fact that I was disciplined more severely as a child than most by my mother, as far as spankings by hand, wooden spoon, paddle, hair brush. There is a lot of fear coming up in me recently, also showing up in my dreams, about going back to these childhood memories. However, I don't remember anything about SA, nor do I think that any of my relatives would ever do that to me. But I've always been able to strongly relate to SA and r*p* victims in TV shows and movies; in fact, that's another time when this unusual physical response happens. And please understand, it's not that I'm turned on by what I'm seeing, it's a genuine emotion that I feel of anxiety and sadness when I watch that. But I seek out those shows to watch (like Law & Order: SVU) - why, I don't know.

I'm in my early 30s, overweight (my T says I use my weight to hide my sexuality), and a virgin. I haven't talked to my T about this issue yet, it's just so embarrassing!

Can anyone relate to this, or offer any words of wisdom?

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

The best advice I can give is to stay in therapy, no matter how hard it may get at times, and always listen to what your body is trying to tell you about your past... it is the looking into ones past that allows us to have a future.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

dont be embarrassed. i think i know what you mean, like when you get really mad or upset or sad or whatever, and its kinda like you're aroused, but its not like sexual or anything like that. i can see where you're coming from and have noticed somethings like that with myself, i just never thought too much of it, i dont think.

dreamseeker I have these same issues. I don't think it's anything other than your body just reacting to what you are talking about. I too have this happen all the time. It can even happen when I am on the phone talking to a really good friend of mine. It's nothing sexual you are right, it just happens.

I too seek out show like Law & Order SVU. I wonder if it's because I can relate to the vicitms as far as their pain, hurt, sorrow...all those feelings you get when you have a bad childhood or are r.p., SA...anything bad happen that happends to you.

I haven't talked to my T either, but I am sure mine would not be surprised if I said this was happening. I do understand the embarressment...I feel so wrong when I end up going to the bathroom and realize all the extra lubrication down there...usually when we are talking about other things that have nothing to do with anything sexual. So...I feel what you are feeling, and I don't think you and I are the only ones either.

Thank you!! It helps immensely to know that I'm not the only one who experiences this. I actually did tell my T about it, that was awkward! She mentioned that there must be shame associated with that reaction for me, and it's true, but I'm not sure where that shame comes from, as I don't recall any CSA. I also told my T that I relate to the victims on shows like L&O: SVU - of course, T was very interested in that, but we haven't dug much deeper yet - I kinda got freaked because I shared so much, so I put on the brakes, and my T is being patient with me.

Great. I am so happy that you opened the door to this issue the your T and that is didn't seem to bad. I think that is very wonderful. I understand getting freaked about for bringing it up. I too put the breaks on and I think T's are used to this. Our brains can only handle so much before we shut down so it's good to take a little at time.