Boyfriend crossdressing

I am here seeking help. I found out about 5 months ago my boyfriend likes to dress in woman's underwear. I will give a short background of our relationship. I met him almost 5 years ago. I was a divorced mom of two older teens. I quickly moved into his home because my ex wanted to sell our home. Both of my children moved out on their own. B/F had been married 3 times to two different women and has two older teens. Match made in heaven right. This man makes me laugh and loves me with his whole heart. He takes care of me as I have now become disabled and cant work. Oh I forgot to say when I met him he told me his BFF was a girl the same age as my daughter. He met her 7 years before I met him. He worked with her and they developed a best friend relationship. Both of them had other relationships b/f g/f Never were they in a sexual relationship. Now to the present, In January I found out that he was taking more of his Adderall than prescribed. Trying to get a better "high" He was under personal stress at the time. I found out that my b/f and his bff were "sexting" with each other. She is now married and my b/f was her man of honor. I was her friend and this was such a violation to me that they would do this to me and her husband. Long story short she, myself and my b/f are no longer friends. a couple months later I was getting something out of his truck and I found some woman's sandals. I immediately thought they were "hers" and I questioned him about this. WOW I didn't get the answer I thought. He said they were his. he also showed me stockings and panties he had hidden in his truck. He told me that both of his ex wives also found out about his love of dressing in womans underwear. One ex vomited when she found out and the other just ignored it. I am trying my best to understand him and this desire of his. He has never dressed like this in front of me and I was thinking he no longer was doing this. I was putting some thing in is truck this morning and I found another pair of womans sandals. I cant tell him I saw them as he will get mad that I looked "snooped" Oh and since January when I found out about the sexting he and I fight a lot. I have never been a fighter, so its easy for him to take me down so to speak. He says horrible things to me and about me. Then the next day he is so sorry and tells me how much he loves me and don't want to lose me. I do know he loves me and will do anything and everything for me, but I just don't know anymore I don't know what to do. I love this man and I just need help.

Welcome to PC aliveindeed. Usually if women aren't educated about cross dressing, they might worry their man is gay - is this a concern for you? To reassure you.....the majority of cross dressing men are straight. Its up to you if you can accept him being discreet and continue your relationship. For some its a deal breaker but some women have even tolerated the partner doing it around them. Men who do this usually knew in their teens they like this, so insisting him to stop may not be worth the trouble.

The bigger problem is the sexting and him talking about you when you're fighting. Maybe consider couples counseling. Both of you need to solve this problem and figure out if you have a future. Best of luck.

Agree ^^^

My BF liked to cross dress and I am a bit kinky anyway so I went with it and enjoyed it. Cross dressing was never a problem for us.

The bigger problem is communication and possible verbal abuse.

I have never had a crossdressing bf and am not sure that I would be able to tolerate that. I mean, I am certainly well-intentioned, but, to be completely honest, it might be hard. Not because of the gay part, but just because it is outside of the realm of standard virility. But I am trying to become much more open-minded and accepting of various things people do without hurting others, and in the course of that attempt, have developed a friendship with a cross-dressing colleague. He wears colorful pumps to work. A year ago when I first saw that, I was totally weirded out. But now I see what a wonderful, sweet, smart, etc. guy he is.

I wouldn't be worried about the cross-dressing, that is a harmless fetish. My concern is the statement you made about his treatment of you. Please read information about red flags of an abuser. I would have sent you a link, but not allowed to do that yet, as I haven't posted enough.

Take care.

I am also on the boat of it's not the cross-dressing that is the issue here, it is his treatment of you and sexting with his friend. I get why you may be weirded out by it, he's not fitting I to the role our culture has for him and that's a big deal to a lot of people, but it's harmless except in that it seems to bring shame to him. If you could be more accepting of it, he may be less shameful for him which may help improve his mood.

I am totally tolerant of many things and I support equal rights for all, I support gay marriage, I'm pretty open minded. But I'm sorry, cross dressing is weird. I'd feel the same if it was a woman who dressed in mens underwear lol. They are free to do what ever they want, I won't take that away from them, but I think it's pretty weird. I don't buy the exploring their feminine side. Most men don't go to that extreme, I think theres more going on here.

The fetish isn't what bothers me--it's that he dated someone your daughter's age, all the other stuff, multiple failed relationships, lack of honesty. I'd say bring on the crossdressng if it weren't for all those red flags.

eek and the potential adderol abuse!

and the verbal abuse

My ex too. he did the same thing, w panties. I doubt HIGHLY he is gay.. he had a fetish.

I'm a husband and have been dressing in panties and other lingerie items these past 2+ years. I do it for a couple reasons, the main is I do not want to stray on my wife. Her auto-immune disease stops us from being physically intimate. I have gone from wearing her panties and bra to buying my own stuff, she knows of my developed fetish and why I do it. She's not totally ok with it, checks in with me sometimes to make sure I'm not gay. When she does that it really hurts me, wish she'd understand why I dress up sometimes,