just getting this out

I no longer enjoy sex like I used to. My prolactin level is high because I'm on risperdal. It is the only thing keeping me from psychosis. So I have to stay on it. He can't suck my nipples anymore because milk comes out of them, from the prolactin levels being high. It takes a long time for me to O, and today it didn't even feel good having sex with my husband. Just felt some pressure. I feel so depressed about it. I cried after he tried to get me to O. I stopped him and cried. I know it could be from past sexual abuse and assaults I have had in my life. I feel like I failed at sex today. It isn't often anyway because his drive is low. Maybe once every 2 weeks. But when theres a chance for it I at least try. But lately I don't even think I could get pleasure. I am so dry too. I think risperdal is hurting my life a lot. Depressed even after exercising. Skipping classes at school. Can't enjoy sex. Lactating. Weight gain. Yet I am so scared to go off it, because I'll have psychosis. I don't see my pdoc till JUNE. My husband would be so mad if I didn't take my meds. He said he would call the cops if I refused to take my meds. Rightly so, every time I skip I get paranoia and delusions. I am so less of a woman right now. I have PCOS too, and that causes acne, weight gain, period mess up, I have an IUD, and don't get my period. Which that part is great. I am tired of having these woman issues though. I am tired of not being able to lose weight as easily. I am tired of being 284 pounds. I am tired of having 10 pound breasts. Tired of my bra not fitting right. Tired of wearing guy clothes just to get comfortable and have it fit. I am disgusted by myself a lot.

I never understood the "one day at a time" thing, but now that my life and health are total crap, its the only way i can deal. One day at a time, one meal at a time (progress not perfection) and just make the best nookie you can

You said your pdoc appointment isn't until June. It sounds like from what you are saying you need an appointment sooner than that. You may not have one scheduled till June, but contact your pdoc to try and schedule one sooner. I don't know if risperdal is the only anti-psychotic that works for your, but there are others that don't increase your prolactin level like risperdal does. Talk to your pdoc about switching if possible. You are NOT less of a woman. Beating yourself up over medication side effects just makes you feel worse. Be gentle with yourself.

i know this may sound a little boring, but can you plan the sex date in advance. The reason I ask, is because I have discovered I can skip one day of my meds. (one day only) and that feeling starts to return. The feeling of "O" you might actually happen. It is achievable then. It takes a long time to get there, but it does sometimes happen and it is kinda worth it. Nothing like it was before meds, but at this point anything to help in that area is a help. I know that I can delay my meds by like 30 hours. Just a little over a day before I start feeling weird again.

I don't know if that is something you can try or not. I am not familiar with that medicine.

Hugs to you. Sorry you both are having a hard time of it. True, you may have to see the doc sooner. The suggestion of skipping your med for one day was interesting. May work.

If I go without my med for just one night I get terrible paranoia But thanks for the suggestions. I am managing to get there on my own, but not with him. It is kinda frustrating. It makes me cry and get emotional which I hate. Probably too much pressure on myself. Husband has low sex drive so it's hard to plan anything anyway.

Kris,

Risperdal rendered me completely dry, completely without any libido, any sexual thoughts, etc. Starting at the lowest dose.

I think you need to see your pdoc sooner and to suggest that the pdoc try an older AP with Cogentin. Atypical AP's are not for everybody. There is less of a weight gain problem with the old AP's, and Cogentin would keep possible neurological side effects at bay. You need to make sure the pdoc gets the message, because many physicians would not consider prescribing old medicines, even when the case for old medicines is plentifully obvious.