[CJR520]

My husband is going through this, and it is the worst thing of our whole 31 years together. All of a sudden, he is a completely different person. Not happy with himself, his life, his clothing, his cologne, his beard, his body. The grandkids make too much noise, he wants to do what all the 20's and 30 year olds are doing. Almost had a fling with a 45 year old secretary at his work, until I caught on and started asking questions. I think he is starting to come out of it after two years, the last six months being hell. I think this is why lots of folks our age get divorced. Lots of people aroung this little town have gone through this very thing, and a few of them have divorced. Just thought this topic could be discussed as I am sure there are lots of us out there, and we could help each other.

[(JD)]

It is real, for sure. It can also be accounted for through "weekend warriors" and such behavior. They get it in their mind that they ARE 30 again, and go out and overdo too much on the weekends. (Could be play such as pick up basketball, or other physical activity such as building stuff or do all the yardword etc.) It's physically dangerous since they don't have the muscle tone, nor the reaction times they used to.

There are books with the topic, and anyone with a spouse approaching this time of life should read it--and leave it out for them to sneak and read on it.

It's no excuse for bad behavior, but if everyone knows it is real, perhaps it will save some of those marriages.

Good topic CJR!

[Rhapsody]

I hear you and I have been going thru it with my husband who is 43 and let me tell you I could kill him some days (figure of speech) - and he is no joy to be around any more as he is grouchy and so blunt with his words that he makes others miserable when they are in the same room with him to long.

And I think it sucks when we as females are told (almost demanded of us) to control our hormonal PMS and yet some men (my husband included) says that they cannot do any thing about the change of life taking place in them - Yeah Right!!

What to do? - can't live with them can't live with out THEM - (males & females).

[CJR520]

I finally got to the place where I just plain got angry, told him what I thought was going on, and that I wasn't going to take the angry words, road rage, etc. I have been reading books, looking at the symptoms on Mayo Clinic sight, etc. He is too stubborn to tell his doctor what is wrong, and I guess lowering testosterone levels can play a big part in this, same as our hormone changes during menopause. A good friend of his since grade school days and a very kind man, came to talk to him on Sunday afternoon for a few hours, and seemed to get through to him some. Gee, this has been two years, and I am growing tired of it now. If he doesn't come out of this soon, I am going to my sisters' in Wisconsin for a couple of weeks. He can just be alone, which he hates, and figure it out. I don't really care at this point. I just want my husband back.

[StarPonysMama]

It's a funny thing. I'm not quite there in age to have a man like this in my life yet but I HAVE SEEN SO MANY.

It is VERY TRUE.

I picked up saying, "those forty-something men in midlife crisis stage" a few years ago.

This is the only place I have seen first hand women who discuss it, know about it, and talk about it.

GEEZ - what I have to look forward to.

((((((CJR520))))))) I really hope you get your husband back!!!!!!!!!!

[Perna]

I'm reading a good novel about the whole thing but the woman is going through her whole questioning period too at the same time:

http://www.amazon.com/Mad-Dash-Novel.../dp/0307382117

I'm glad I met my husband when he was already in his mid-40's and "looking" for me

[CJR520]

Thank You for the info on the book. I will look for it at the library. Many couples in our home town which is very small, have gone through this, and a few are divorced because of it. Seems that most of the divorces are the men finding younger women, and then those marriages fail also. The younger women want those guys with the money and cars and things. Then, they find out that an older man can't keep up with a young chic, and the wife usually gets all the nice things they worked for all those years, and she is left with an old man to take care of. It is a very frustrating, embarrising, time for me, as he acts like a 20 year old in restaurants, and flirts. This is something he has never done at all, and it just plain hurts. I am glad that I did some research to try to find out what is going on. And to all the young women out there. Be careful what you are doing!! The situation may look good at the time, but there are children and grandchildren involved, and if you are seeing dollar signs, most everyone has wills and trusts set up to go to their family. The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fencef! I am hanging in for the long haul unless something really bad happens. I have a lot of support of friends and family, even friends of his who see how silly he is acting. I have a good counselor, and my sons' house to go to if I need that who is only four miles away.