kinda embarrassing..

soon, i think me and my boyfriend of 14 months are gonna have sex for the first time. im 15 and... nervous, i mean, what am i expected to do? should i shave.. "down there"? is it up to me to get condoms? and what if im "bad" in bed?

please advise ;s

ok, I'm not being judgemental, just asking. Is it legal for you to be having sex at the age of 15?

In the UK the age is 16, saying that I do know that teenagers do have sex before that age. I suggest that you ask your doctor, or go to a clinic to go on the pill before having sex. Condoms can burst and you really don't want to be getting pregnant at your age. You would also need to use condoms aswell incase of catching something.

Make sure that this is something that you are ready for. Is this the person that you really love?

i know its not quite legal yet... but i think im ready. hes also 15 and i think im ready.

if i go to my doctor, does it have to be my family gp? i really dont think this is something i want my parents to know about...

hes also a virgin, so if im on the pill do i still need a condom?

What is the reason you may be having sex soon? Is this something you want to do? It sounds to me like you may not be ready for this. This is a big decision. If you are not 100% certain this is something you want to do then please don't. You will only regret it later.

Have you discussed your concerns with you boyfriend? If not, how come?

bananasarecool, if you are in the UK and you are worried about going to see your GP there is a family planning clinic specifically for teenagers, I think it is called Brooke. It is a confidential service. They are happy to give advice and free contraception.

I personally feel it best to use the pill and condoms. The pill is not 100% effective, takes a while to get in the system and doesn't work if you are sick. Condoms are not 100% either so if you use both that would make sure you are protected against pregnancy and disease.

well its kinda corny, but weve got our year 11 prom coming up soon, and its kinda been informally planned. i havent discussed some of the details like shaving & condoms with him yet because i dont want him to think im immature.. but ive discussed being ready with him, and i am

hon at 15 you are not ready. yes you think you are but it is a huge responsibility to have sex. I started having sex when I was 14. I wish I had not done that. I got pregnant at 15. I can tell you I lost out on so much of my teen years being a teen mom. it was the hardest thing in the world to do. don't get me wrong. I love the daughter I produced. but I really wish I had waited. I let a boy put the pressure on me and I wanted/needed someone to love me so badly that I did it. I plea to you to please wait. no you don't need to shave down there to have sex but please wait hon. if this boy loves you he will wait.

bananasarecool,

I'm not being judgmental either, but here's what I tell my children: “If you're too embarrassed to talk about sex with your partner, then you should be too embarrassed to have it.”

I recently had this discussion again with one of my sons that is your age. He’s been dating a girl that is a year and a half older than he is. I added to the previous that there are no “accidents” in this house. Before he decides to have sex with his girlfriend, he’d better think long and hard about whether he’s prepared to be a father. If he’s not ready to be someone’s father, then he shouldn’t be having sex. Babies are a very real consequence of sex.

IF you decide you're going to go through with this anyway, definitely use condoms. There are so many diseases out there that he may not even know that he has, such as herpes or genital warts. In theory, he should care enough about you to have them himself, but I would suggest you keep them on hand to avoid the "oh, I don't have one, one time without them should be ok."

Perhaps I'm the most fertile person on the planet, but I got preggers with my first child while I was on the pill. I had a bout with strep throat and did not know that this made the pill ineffective. My second child was while my husband and I were using condoms. And my twins were after he had a vasectomy. (Which he was compliant with and did his lab work and had a zero sperm count. The tubes later grew back together on one side making him fertile without our knowing it.)

Another thing that I’ve notice through out my life, is when you become sexually active with your partner, fights increase in frequency and ferocity.

When the time is right, there will be no embarrassment. You’ll know that he’s the right one because you can share anything and everything with him. And if you should become pregnant, you know that he’ll be there ready, willing, and able to take responsibility for the child.

just my 2 cents.

i do hope i don't say anything to upset or aggrevate you. that's not my intention!

i do understand you feel you are old enough and ready. and the fact that you have been dating your boyfriend for 14 months is impressive and commendable for two young kids. the fact that you are asking questions and seeking advice is also a sign of maturity.

but you also mention being embarrassed and nervous. those may be signs that your not as ready as you think.

and you shouldn't have to worry whether or not your boyfriend will think you are immature for discussing your concerns! communication is a sign of maturity!!! it's also really difficult - even for adults!

as for being "bad" in bed your first time!! i'm betting most people are! that's why communication is so important. you both need to be able to talk about sex - before and after. find out what works and what doesn't. what you like and don't like.

i'm concerned as well that you asked if you need to use a condom even if you are on the pill. YES!!!!!! there are tons of nasty sexually transmitted diseases out there!!! (even if your boyfriend is a virgin. better safe than sorry) ALWAYS use a condom!! repeat after me... I WILL ALWAYS USE A CONDOM!!

***moderators: i don't know if this is stepping over the line since this poster is a minor. but since she's asking about sex, i'm going to assume it's ok. edit if need be.****

are you expecting to enjoy your first sexual experience? do you know that most women do not have an orgasm from the %#@&#! being inserted into the vagina? most women have an orgasm through clitoral stimulation. would you be able to discuss your wants and needs with your boyfriend?

a few other things to consider...

i know the pregnancy topic has been covered, but are you ready to be a mom? it can happen!

what if the two of you break up? i know it may seem impossible, but it happens all the time!

what if he tells his friends about having sex with you? guys talk!

what if your parents find out?

if you are still planning on having sex, i'd like to suggest you visit the following web site http://www.scarleteen.com/ it's a sex ed site for teens. lots of useful info!

take care of yourself! and keep posting questions and concerns!! you are a smart girl for doing so!

Well im 22...I had sex for the first time in 9th grade when I was 15. Do I wish I would have waited ...YES...but I got you girl...I know where you're coming from...always use protection...make sure this is what YOU want. Get on birth control for at least a month before you have sex. I would shave...just because ...u know how people are in high school...people talk...so unless your cool with people ..maybe finding out and laughing..id shave...itches..when it grows back tho...I prefer to shave....I like it...some don't tho...its up to you...But just please...make sure this is what YOU want!!!

I agree with a lot said above. I was 15 but not sure that it was what I wanted. I wished that I had waited. I wish that I had talked to someone, like you have. Just really think it through and talk to him.... if he is worth it... then he will wait for you. You have the rest of your life ahead of you.... there will be many magical moments. And, yes always use a condom even if you are on the pill at your age.
take care of yourself.
Juli

If you can't talk about condoms or shaving, you're not ready. When you can talk about orgasms, mutual masturbation instead of intercourse, contraception options, etc., then you are closer to being ready.

There are LOTS of things you can do together which are fun that don't include intercourse. Frankly, intercourse with an inexperienced partner is seriously dull. You''ll end up saying, "is that it???!!!". And it will last all of about 1 minute since he's 15. Does that sound worth risking pregnancy? It's not.

Please stop, do some research, talk to an adult you trust about this decision. Um, like your mom.

Take care, Slippers

I'm so impressed with the level of maturity and sense of responsibility you display by asking these questions.

Everything I'm about to tell you is with love and respect... not from the perspective of a mother, but from someone who has "been there".

I was 13 when I started seeing my bf (who was 17 at the time). Oh, we were in love, planned on marrying and living happily ever after. We didn't see the big picture.. just each other and after a year and a half, the urge to express that "love" physically became overwhelming.... so we began a physical relationship.

I wish I would have asked someone back then. I wish I could have talked to my mother, my sisters.. friends.. anyone. Maybe someone would have told me that unless I was ready to assume adult responsibilities like paying rent, holding down a full time job, raising children and being a responsible member of society that I shouldn't attempt to engage in adult activities. I never asked.. I never knew.. and I ended up with my heart broken and at 45 years old, I'm sorry to this day that I acted so casually about something which should have been a special gift for the man I would marry.

At 15, the world was so small. It consisted of my bf, my job, my few friends, my family and the town in which I lived. Well, the world isn't so small.. it's HUGE.. and there are so many things I would have liked to experience before I began placing so much importance on my bf and the sex. Because that was all consuming to me at that age, I passed on a lot of opportunities.

Please accept this in the love and respect for which it's intended. If you can wait... wait. If this is true, mature love, it won't hurt the relationship if you should decide to wait before giving up your virginity.

I also know the other end of it.. the pull of hormones at your age is phenomenal, so no matter what anyone says, if you're going to do it.. it's going to happen. To that I say - there are a lot of things two people can do to satisfy those hormones without giving up your virginity. Also, condoms are not an option.. they are mandatory. Now a days pregnancy is the least of our worries. Employ the use of condoms for the same reasons that you nourish yourself... to keep yourself alive and healthy.

As far as the other stuff (shaving)... that's a matter of personal preference and grooming.

Good luck to you!
L

You know I just want to give an honest opinion. The age 15 is kind of young, Everyone is different, but I suggest you wait. I mean nothing is going to stop you, but I waited until I was 17 1/2 years old. I don't regret it, that is actually a more sensible age. At that young of an age even if you feel you are ready for sex, I would do everything possible to protect yourself. I would use a condom AND use birth control. birth control pills they say you are not supposed to have sex until youve taken the pill for 2 full weeks.

As far as the shaving thing, its all an opinion thing. You have all different ways, there is the bush, the trim or the bald eagle. I say trim is the best. Why do I feel so wrong giving this advice to someone who is 15? Maybe because you do sound unsure of yourself, and just remember, the internet is a great reaserch tool, so if you have a any more questions look it up there.

I just wanted to say that I was 20 -- which apparently is freakishly old for this sort of thing -- and it was still a fairly traumatic experience, because I thought I was ready, but I wasn't, not mentally/emotionally, anyway. At 15, you don't stand a chance of it helping more than it hurts you in all aspects of your life.

You've gotten a lot of good responses here -- I hope you take them under consideration. Good luck to you.

CB