[gammawbecky]

Hi, I'm new to Psych Central and glad to see there is a topic that is for women only. I have been married over 30 years and have had health problems for the past eight years that continues to effect our sexual relationship. My husband tries so hard to please me, but I have been almost impossible to bring to a climax. We have never had this problem before and I hear that antidepressants can cause our issue. I take Wellbutrin and Effexor and have to have them because I'm susceptible to depression.

Anyone out there have ideas that can help me (and my husband) have a more satisfying relationship?

Becky

[Raynaadi]

((( Becky )))

Welcome to PC!!!

That sounds really rough. I've heard as well that antidepressants cause those kinds of problems. Have you talked to your doctor about it? I guess thats what I would suggest to start with.....are you able to climax on your own? I'm sorry if thats a personal question, just curious if you're able to climax at all. I'd definitely talk to your doctor.

Anyway, glad you found us! There are many wonderful supportive women here!!!

~Rayna

[Maven]

I agree, you should talk to your doctor about it.

You might also try some products meant to help women's arousal, like Zestra. I've tried this product, although only once, and would like to try again (I only used about half the pack, would like to try the full effect), but it does help. It has a mild odor, but I only noticed it if I got it close to my nose, and according to what I've read, it doesn't taste good (but isn't harmful), so, you don't want your guy "going south" if you use it.

Some doctors suggest adding Viagra to your meds, but I personally think this is a bad idea. However, that would be your decision.

One thing I'm going to be trying, and you might find helpful, is The Orgasmic Diet. It uses vitamins and nutrition, plus a kegel exercisor, and many women swear by it.

[star515]

I have a big problem like that when i take meds. I used to climax on my own but now i have to use my hand. You have to outway your options. is the sex more important then taking the meds. I have never had an anti depressant work forever. It really is a problem because they pills keep us turned off but if we don't take them the depression keeps us even more turned off. I don't know how to help you but i know exactly how you feel.

[wickedwings]

funny, i've never been able to climax whether i was on or off of my antidepressants. i can do it on my own, though, it requires a vibrator. but, never have i been able to do so with my lovely guy. if i could do it with him, i think it would please him a whole lot, you know? but i've told him that i'm pleased even if i can't climax with him because i'm more than happy to satisfy his sexual appetite. and it doesn't require me to climax for me to feel happy about sex.

[Kendyll]

OMG!
I'm like that, too! I can play with my toy and orgasm, and once I got it with the shower head...but I can't any other way, and I REALLY can't with my BF. I have a great time (!!), but no orgasms.

Kinda hate to admit it, but I'll fake one every now and again. Not all the time (!) but every once in a while. It makes him feel good, and sometimes that's important to me.

And yes, meds can DEFINITELY kill sexual performance!

That is indeed a common side-effect of anti-depressants. I guess one thing to do might be to weigh the pros and cons of taking the anti-depressants. How much do they seem to be helping prevent your depression? Do your episodes seem to be triggered by stressful life circumstances? Are you having such stressful like circumstances now?

It might be that your depression could be managed better with therapy than with medication.

Or that your depression could be managed equally well on a significantly reduced dosage of medication.

Alternatively... One could think of sexual activity as a non-goal directed activity such that you can take some enjoyment and intimacy from it without seeing orgasm as a goal (in the sense of being disappointed when it doesn't happen).

I guess those are the options...

One side effect of ceasing medication is a withdrawal syndrome. I'd talk to your doctor about attempting this (withdrawal syndrome can include a temporary increase in your depressive symptoms as your body adjusts to 'rebound effects).

i agree with alex..
its def a side effect of just about every psychotropic medication
u rote that ur susceptible for depression... are u currently in a depressive episode.. perhaps if ur not and if ur feelin alright maybe reduction of ur meds under ur docs guidence of course...
the best point from alex is about not seeing sex as goal orientated.. the more pressure u have on climaxing the harder it will be to achieve as the stress levels rise .. its better to be as relaxed as possible...
and for those who cant climax with partners but can with toys.. why not bring the toys in with the guy???

[AAAAA]

Effexor does that to me as well. Discuss this with the doctor he/she may be able to help.

there is one SSRI that tends to interfeare with sex less... Can't remember what it is called but if you mention it to your doc then it might be possible to switch to that instead.

[misse]

I think the last poster is referring to Wellbutrin- its meant to interfere less with your sex life. I'm not able to take it but I have taken Effexor and that really killed my sex drive completely. Perhaps you could quit effexor and just try wellbutrin? The sex life problems is definitely the worst part about ADs... :-(