[Hunny]

I am struggling with the negative feelings of lack of self confidence, self worth and failing hope around going forward work-wise, into the days ahead.

I had a private career coach in the past and have been working toward the goals I set then, but I will not be able to afford one now. I know lots and lots about doing career exploration, a career in this field, is what I am working toward.

With my PTSD, I am really wondering if I am going to be able to withstand the pressures that the workforce will now have for me.

I'm older and wiser but does the workforce really want younger and less experienced. Papers say they want the older workforce to stay, but in reality, the one who gets hired seems to be under 50. This is discouraging. I have been on several interviews lately and I'm not the one hired but when I check back it is the younger ones that are. I want them to be hired too, so I am glad for them.

I've been working on the following:

1. a self-employment project since 2003-04 for the web,
2. a career goal of being a career practitioner and in the meantime,
3. doing jobs that pay the bills

but this downturn in the ecomony has thrown me for a loop, emotionally, sort of. Heap this on me, with ptsd, and I'm a bit of wreck, if not worse.

My T is very empathetic and thankfully, an entrepreneur but for some reason the repercusions (sp?) economic cloud sits perched upon me and I can't get up enough energy to blow it away, at least not by myself.

Where am I going with this, I don't know? Your input, I think.

I am, at the same time all this is going on, very grateful to be able to care for our grandchildren, at times I wouldn't normally be able to, because I am not working. I have joined a local senior's (no I'm not a senior yet but they let me join for a little less $) centre, and I was starting to swim to get me out of the house, in the early mornings. I have been called in for a few days at my old work so I am happy they are still considering me.

When I saw this topic I was really encouraged but I need a little more depth, if possible.

Because I already do all the cutting corners, there is really not much more I can cut or be frugal around. I have been doing this for years and really actually enjoy it. We have a garden, all of that! They are really good suggestions but I need something more. I need people with similar conditions, going through the same! I have lived through a couple of downturns in the economy, as many of you have, but for some reason this time I am stuck in a kind of fear and worry (something I do well) about others having to pay for me. I'd rather die, if you know what I mean.

My barriers (not my word) to employement are quite a few. If I go into too much detail, this so called, quick post, will be a book. I don't really want sympathy, empathy or compassion so much as I really would like to work and to go forward.

I do have plans, thankfully and probably all will all work out but I guess what I am asking is, for your stories, your input and your support. I have lost my enthusiasm but not my marbles (at least, not any more than I'd lost from what went on before, in my life).

My plans are to continue to go to my local Govn't employment centre and ask for their suggestions, go to temp agencies and try to meet others locally with similar concerns. This will take time.

This is a greater request then, than the suggestion of cutting coupons etc, if you know what I mean.

We are in 'this one' (economic downturn) together , whether we like it or not (good grief, I'm sounding like my mother!). I'm not the only one with barriers. How do we help each other in a kind way without dumping on those who put us in these dire straights? Maybe like in the 30's, I'll know my neighbours better but right now I've only lived in this area for ten months. I'm a bit untrusting and cautious too, good and bad.

My son-in-law and daughter and family are close in proximity but I still need to pay for my shelter, my food and my clothing, so I really know that working is my best option.

I'm mostly physically competent except for my weight (45 lbs I know were are not counting). I am appreciative of working and I don't take that I am able to work for granted at all! I want to thank those on ED Forum for help on the weight issue. I have done many jobs, including cleaning, washing toys, retail as well as other jobs so it's not that I mind any of those.

Thoughtful suggestions will be much appreciated! I'm sure I can't be the only one with these concerns. It's a bit of personal pride too, maybe. Not overly proud just reasonable. I have an expectation of myself. Sometimes it's a little wonky, like when I look at what others seems to have. But for all I have been through in life, I am right where I know I should be. I just have to measure myself with a different measuring stick!

Thanks for all of you! Thanks for all you do and write. I have truly appreciated being here for this short period of time. How dare I even ask for more? I don't know, exactly. It's just that your all so darned nice.

Ice

[free2beme]

(((((((( Ice )))))))))

i hear you and i'm sad to say...............i'm right there with you

[shrimp1957]

I think most of us are "right there with you". I am in a similar situation. Was downsized in June and haven't been able to find a job. Our state has the worst unemployment rate in the nation and I know that it is my age that is preventing me from getting a job. While I don't have PTSD, I have just lost my husband and my mother-in-law, and know that one thing piled on another doesn't help. Receiving help from others, while I cringe, I have been thankful my son has the ability to help me each month. He faithfully wires money to my account, sometimes when I least expect it. I hate it, he knows I will never be able to pay him back, but he's ok with it and I have to accept that the Lord works in mysterious ways and He uses other people to help us. So, if it comes to that, as hard as it is, say thank you. (this is easy for me to say, I have a terrible time doing it myself). It's one day at a time, and sometimes, it's only an hour at a time(even then you sometimes have to break it down to minutes!)

Just know you are certainly not alone with depression, unemployment and all that goes with it...like you said, we are all in it together whether we want to be or not and whether we like it or not.

[Hunny]

Thank you. Your reply make me feel, not so alone. Thanks. I'll try to be gracious, like you showing to your son, even if you hate having to do it.

Also, I am a great believer in one day at a time too (or like you say, 1 minute, as needed!). Thanks for your support.

Ice

[JP1957]

I understand completely what you are feeling. I have just been put on "administrative leave". I am sure that I will be terminated because I do not agree with the billing practices of the physician that I am associated with. I am saddened and hurt and angry as all get out! I am also depressed and at one point considered just taking a hand full of pills so I would go to sleep and not wake up... It's sad that arrogant, bully's like the two people who claim to run this company are allowed to be mean, nasty and hateful to someone that is just trying to do a good job.

[Hunny]

Hi, JP1957:

Thank you for responding and for adding your story.

Since I first posted this, I thankfully, have secured a part time permanent position. It can be done. However, it does not minimize the emotional roller coaster I was on, it only makes it more bearable. So much of what I think and feel about myself is part of what I do for a living. This new position is geared more toward the career field I was seeking to work in. So, in some ways I am glad the layoff came at the other job. It was a crisis but good came out of it, in a way. I will still need to work elsewhere to make enough to live on but I have been working toward that for some time too, so, hopfully will have that piece in place in the not too distant future.

Arrogant bully, I like that term to describe exactly who they were. Mean, nasty and hateful, are good words to describe those two. Well done! I have had a few like this too but my last employer was really nice, it was the economy that did me in.

You are, however, are a person who wants to do a good job and to take a good person out of this world only to be left with those two would make me quite sad.

I also went to a conference last week for career practioners and got some really cool materials on doing work assessments which I can post if you like. There are many but this one looked very interesting to me and it is free! Something we all need at this time of the economy. I can see if I can walk you through it if you like. Might help others too.

Do take care.

Ice

[oldmom3]

I am new to this forum and staying up late worrying about my husband losing his job. He was laid off two years ago and got hired in a new city last year. We were thrilled to get another chance to rebuild our retirement accounts. Then, only weeks after we moved, he lost the new job. We had to borrow money from his brother just to move back to our old house which we had just put back on the market. At our ages, here we are trying to recover again.
My career was put on hold several years ago because my youngest (now in college) suffered a major depressive episode and had to leave high school. I home schooled her for two years and was so excited when she got into college. Now she has had to leave college after two quarters. We are enrolling her in a local community college. I must go back to work but I seem to be unable to face job stress any more. I can't seem to go fast enough to please my employer. The week before my husband lost his job, he spent a week in the hospital due to a blood clot.

I read the message from Ice Statue who really sounds like a wonderful person, full of courage and ideas. I realize that what I lack is a sense of control over my life. I know that we all live with a false sense of safety most of the time but it is terribly disorienting to get beat up the way we have been beat up for the last two years. I put up a pretty good front around my husband and kids but mostly I feel like I've been run over and kicked to the curb. .I get up at night and worry...

I am very fortunate to have a family and a house. We have a little retirement income and will be able to keep the house. So. I know we are luckier than so many. We had just planned on so much more than getting by

Originally Posted by IceStatue

Hi, JP1957:

Thank you for responding and for adding your story.

Since I first posted this, I thankfully, have secured a part time permanent position. It can be done. However, it does not minimize the emotional roller coaster I was on, it only makes it more bearable. So much of what I think and feel about myself is part of what I do for a living. This new position is geared more toward the career field I was seeking to work in. So, in some ways I am glad the layoff came at the other job. It was a crisis but good came out of it, in a way. I will still need to work elsewhere to make enough to live on but I have been working toward that for some time too, so, hopfully will have that piece in place in the not too distant future.

Arrogant bully, I like that term to describe exactly who they were. Mean, nasty and hateful, are good words to describe those two. Well done! I have had a few like this too but my last employer was really nice, it was the economy that did me in.

You are, however, are a person who wants to do a good job and to take a good person out of this world only to be left with those two would make me quite sad.

I also went to a conference last week for career practioners and got some really cool materials on doing work assessments which I can post if you like. There are many but this one looked very interesting to me and it is free! Something we all need at this time of the economy. I can see if I can walk you through it if you like. Might help others too.

Do take care.

Ice

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Hunny --

We are going to need an awfully big boat to hold all of us sailing with you in this rough economy.

It sounds as if you are doing every practical thing under the sun. You sound so well-organized. Do you think it would benefit you to start a local group for "how to survive in hard times" to share everything you know. Perhaps as a step toward your coaching career for experience.

I admire the way you have made plans and figured out the steps.