Hate having a full-time job

I have learned to see a job as a means to an end.

I think the problem is we as Americans have the tendency to define ourselves by our work. "What do you do for a living" is usually the question that gets asked after "Are you single or married?" and "do you have kids?" Sometimes I swear people have NOTHING BETTER to talk about! But whatever...

When we are in jobs we dislike, we see that defining who we are when we shouldn't. Even if I was a housekeeper and cleaned icky houses I would not allow my job to define me. If people asked me who I was, I'd say "I'm an outdoorsy person who knows a tad too much about Star trek." I prefer to define myself by my qualities, interests, and outlook on life.

I have a poor view of the work world too, and it's rough to know you spend 40 hours of your week at work, with those same people doing similar tasks. But it's only 40 hours and there is plenty of time outside of work to be who you want to be, and enjoy the things you want to enjoy if you make the effort. Of course, easier said than done if your job makes you miserable. BTDT, which is why I'm hoping to find an okay job where I don't feel like jumping off a bridge and I can leave work at work when it's the end of my day.

dont know if people still read this forum. well, i just wanted to say, i can totally relate to everyone on this posting. i always thought it was just me who couldnt stand working 40 hrs. for corporate/engineering/almost most professional jobs, its actually not just 40 hours. usually, theres maybe an hour or two of overtime, then u sit and commute for another 30-1 hr. by the time u get home, i hardly enough time to eat, shower, and the next day the whole day starts again .

for me, i had the hardest time transitioning from college life to working 40 plus hours as an engineer. i hated it. in fact, i never got used to it. ive had several jobs and quit and also worked part time in a few other fields, mainly tutoring and teaching which dont really require any deep skills. i am thinking of going back to school for accounting. that is a job where u can just work pt. right now , i work online and make about $700. so that coupled with a pt accounting job, i think id be happier. i will miss saying that i am an engineer for the prestige, but i dont think humans were made to be hunched over at a computer for 40 plus hours a week. it was a difficult stressful job that was over my head to begin with. i got so depressed that i had a multitiude of health issuess that forced me to quit. and lo and behold, they disappeared when i quit. well...all i can say is that...ill prob be working for the rest of my life since im choosing to mainly work pt...but i dont think i can handle another 40 plus work week and being stuck in an office. i hate staring at a computer for 8 plus hours a day. how do ppl do that??

I identify with this thread except currently I'm not working. That is supposed to change in a couple weeks when I start my new contract job. I'm anxious about it but that's nothing new. I just wish I could see work as many of you do: a means to an end. That way, I wouldn't ruin my mental health by repeatedly "failing" and jobs and being fired due to poor attendance.

My parents support me right now but they keep warning me that the money they have is running out. I feel constatly guilty that I'm taking their hard-earned retirement money. I just wish I could work steadily on my own and take care of my self. What's wrong with me? Besides depression, anxiety and BPD...

I think the paramount question is, "Is what you are doing to provide yourself with money a good - and preferably an optimal - psychological fit for you?" If the answer is a clear no, then change is absolutely necessary. That could entail defining the problem and working on solutions within your current job or field, or getting another job, or moving to a different field, or starting your own business. How someone works through all that is a complex and individual path.

Hello everyone...
Getting ready to go to a new job that i am stressed out over. So glad to read these posts this morning and know that i am not alone in my thoughts. It does help to make it through the day to know that others are feeling the same way.
Until next time, i appreciate this group immensely.

I'm in a situation where I will have to work full time for many more years in order to support myself.
Since I have Clinical Depression and GAD working 40 hours a week exhausts me. That doesn't include commuting, etc. And then the basics of house keeping, grocery shopping, etc.
I'm sorry you hate working so much. I'm doing a lot of research and self analysis to help me rediscover my passion so that I'll want to get up and function everyday. Working full time with a mental illness is NOT a walk in the park.

I also hate the fact that I have to work, but being that work is just a part of life, I do so, and put my full effort into it. I'd rather work hard to retire early, then to jump between jobs or not work and end up working past a retirement age..

Maybe everyone has a job that doesn't necessarily involve one of their "hobbies", but is rewarding enough psychologically that it will be bearable.

For all of you that are unable to work for medical or legitimate psychological reasons, I hope you can eventually find something you enjoy, and hopefully you can get paid for doing it

I just recently went back to work, myself, after two years of unemployment. I absolutely HATE having to do this crap day in and day out. There HAS to be more to life than this. I don't ask for much. I just want to read, watch movies, and enjoy the simple things in life. I have social anxiety disorder and depression, so it's been a struggle through the years, having to punch a time clock and be forced to be around people and expected to do work that I hate. Going back to it after a few years is close to torture.

I knew there were others like me, but it does help to actually read the replies in this thread.

I'm with you. Give me netflix and a few books, and I'm good to go! The "9 to 5" grind-your-life-away existence is for the birds. Wait, even birds don't bother with such an existence. They just fly and eat and live.

Life seems pretty backwards to me U spend your younger years working your fingers to the bone saving and scraping along to accomplish something in life house cars etc etc Then save all your extra for "retirement" Then when you retire your so old and decrepit you can't do anything it just doesn't make sense to me.Every job I ever had I hated Hated it with a passon I had mid day and evening jobs Jobs where I was on call Jobs where I didn't even have to show up if I didn't want to.I hated them all You go in work like a slave just to fill the owners pockets with money. And you get a wage that just allowes you to scrape by

I can really relate - I'm in my early 20s and I find myself fantasizing about my retirement at age 65. I have no idea how I'm going to make it to that point. Working causes me so much stress it could probably give me a heart attack at age 35.
I feel so uncomfortable at a work place like I'm just absolutely not supposed to be there. Whether its a store, an office, a classroom, anywhere - I feel a compulsive need to just leave. Still haven't found the right job for me, but I'm looking into being a baker so I can work with food which I love and work in a kitchen where I don't have to interact with others too much, or I'm going to start an online business idea I've been tossing around in my head for the past year.
I mean what other jobs are out there that are at least mostly solitary? No idea!

> MalcontentHero -" I don't see how I'll ever reach any of my life goals."

Ok, but I don't believe you ever said what these goals are. In a way, I agree with you in that doing a job simply for the sake of earning a paycheck can be boring. Of course, we all NEED those paychecks, so maybe that's why it's called WORK.

Still, I think it should be possible to find some sort of employment which also serves to get you closer to your goals....whatever they may be.

Waaaay back in my high school days I took a typing class. As an exercise, the teacher had us type "Know what you like to do, then do it as well as you can." We probably typed it a thousand times. Many years later, I realized she was giving us more than a typing exercise.

I probably already posted on this thread, but folks, please be careful what you wish for. I am not employed right now, and it is the most miserable thing in the world. If you don't like your work, find something else, but do it while you have a job. Inactivity is a major contributor to my depression, which just does not want to quit. If I was working full time, I might be a bit frustrated, but I certainly wouldn't be depressed.

I agree, but some of us are damned either way. While the "inactivity" doesn't help depression, the daily grind of endless days in the office was far worse for me. I can also easily break depressive thoughts by taking a 3 mile walk in the middle of the day, whereas at work I'd just be stuck with my depression for a few more hours until the day ended.

This post echoes what I'm feeling recently. Over the past six months, I've really begun to look more in depth about what I expect from life, whether that be family, work, or home. I've discovered that even though the type of work I'm doing can be interesting and my position pays well, I really do not like having a full-time job.

When I had graduated from college and was living with my parents again, I couldn't find a job. This turned out to be a benefit, because I had much more time to devote to my musical pursuits, I was a more attentive girlfriend (now married to then-boyfriend), and I was able to focus on my health and well-being. I found myself going outside more, taking bike rides, researching things I was interested in, practicing my trumpet a lot, planning dates, and being overall happier. The only downside is that I had absolutely no income and student loans were about to enter repayment. That is one of the reasons I had to get a job.

After about a year in my first full-time position after college, I decided I wanted to go to grad school. The schooling part of that decision was great; I learned a lot about myself and made new friends, felt like part of a community. However, that increased my student loan debt. Sometime in that year I also bought a car. You can see where I'm going with this...

Now, married at 27, paying rent, repaying student loans, paying a car payment, credit card debt, and general living expenses I find myself more depressed than I have been in the last 5 years. I love my husband, and I love that we're trying to buy a house, but I hate paying bills, I hate working, and I hate that I have to work in order to stay afloat. I actually miss that year after college when I had the freedom and time to focus on things that actually added value to my life: music, self-study, romance, etc.

Working at my M-F, 8-5 job does not add value to my life. I find it extremely difficult to get out of bed in the morning, to make myself travel the 25 miles to my job, to sit at a desk inside instead of being in the beautiful Arizona fall weather (80+ degrees, sunny, breezy, beautiful). I find when I get home I have no energy or excitement for things I want to do, because I've spent 40+ hours a week doing something I hate.

I just don't know how to get out of debt and be job-free. I'm sure if my husband enjoyed his job (he hates his, much more than I do), and made as much money as I do he'd be more open to the idea of me becoming a stay-at-home wife, and possible future mother. But, every time I've brought up the subject, he immediately shoots it down: "we can't afford that, you'll get bored" etc. I just really hate spending my life working, when I could be doing something meaningful and awesome.

It's really comforting to read that other people feel the same way I do about work. Sometimes I feel like everyone around me except for my husband is some kind of ambitious, optimistic, pro-work cheerleader. It's not that I don't have interests and ambition; I do. I just hate working for other people (which essentially means being at their mercy), and I don't want to struggle owning my own business.

Thank you all for posting this. It makes me feel so much better that I'm not alone in not wanting to work for greedy corporations and becoming a part of a competitive rat race that bores me to death. I'm 32 and currently back in school. I am dreading going back to a 9-5...I don't think I can do it. I would almost rather kill myself than sit at a desk all day with all of my crazy anxiety and scatterbrainded-ness (I know that's not a word, lol). I am truly at a loss of what to do. I have a 5 year old son and want to be a good role model for him but I just KNOW I'll be a miserable mother going back to work full-time or even part-time. Once something becomes an obligation, I no longer want to do it. I hate working with people because there's always drama. If I stay my quiet and shy self, people question me and think I'm up to something. Really, I'm just insecure, shy, and introverted. Ugh. Thanks for listening to my vent.

I've been teased, questioned, and taunted for being quiet my entire life. I was called "weird" just because I was shy. I'm starting to not give a **** anymore. They can think I'm weird all they want, I'm just there to do a job and go home. I actually wrote this on a note on my computer the other day...
"Take a low stress good paying job at first because after awhile the stress will subside, you will know how to do your work and the people will get used to you, if people think you're weird then F em, you aren't there to please them you're there to do a job and go home. You can be as quiet and solitary as you want. You can say no to extra social expectations if its not in your job description."
A self reminder that I don't have to stop being "me" for other people. A job isn't high school, its not a popularity contest, but I literally forget that sometimes because it sure feels like it.

I really sympathize. I'm very lucky to have found a career that is meaningful to me, where I can use my best skills and inherent talents to make my little piece of the world a better place. Unfortunately it is long hours, tons of stress, and pays crap, but it's so interesting- I never know what I'll be doing when I walk in the door, and it's very flexible in terms of setting my own schedule.

But if I were stuck in a 9-5 repetitive job with no fulfillment, I'd hate work, too! I do consider myself very fortunate. But outside things that let me connect with the community are really what I live for, and help me through times when I don't feel as good about myself.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't work. I have been doing part time for the past 8 years, because I have no passions that can equate to a career. I also care so little about working for someone else that my main priority Is to get out on time so I can get to the few things in life that bring me joy when so much of life is made up of work. When I don't get out on time I have intense anxiety.

So I have searched for a career for years, finally landed a job for a non-profit as a grant writer. My supervisor and I didn't get along from day 1. She is a workaholic who is by her own words "never off the clock" whereas I don't even want to think about work when I'm not there. I worked ridiculously hard to make it work, even coming in early so that I could get out in time to get to my class (exercise that I enjoy). The work grind was literally killing me, as I was sick everyday. Eventually I was fired (after only three months) and it was like a huge weight was lifted. Yes, money is a huge problem, I am alone in this town and only have myself to rely on, but I still can't imagine working again. I can't find anything that doesn't sound horrendous at my level (i have a master's in occupational health psychology, quite appropriate but there is nothing in the field that I can do. America's capitalistic society doesn't give a crap about mental health in the workplace). I would just work at a comic book store or something if I could make a life of it abd not feel like a total waste.

I am right here with all of you! At almost 59 years old, I have had 30+ jobs in my lifetime, the longest being 4 years. This is job hopping at its best but I have never been able to figure out why. Recently put myself back into counseling because I am getting desperate because of my age.

I have never really had a problem finding a job, but find it frustrating that I have to work at all and usually begin by calling out sick a few days, then resign. I have been terminated for absenteeism before (many years ago), but frankly, I truly prefer to stay at home all the time. I have one friend that I see every other week - she is a former manager and we were a great team until she was let go three months before her retirement. I quit the following week because without her to consistently give me the constructive criticism and feedback I needed to continue my job, I lost my desire to work at that place. Our department was reorganized and overseen by a micro-managing, backstabbing 'B' and I refused to worked under her.

I have now reached a point where, looking back on my life, I have screwed so many potentially great careers where I would accumulate a significant amount of experience and promotion, not to mention a retirement account. I have no retirement, student loans out the ying yang, and no future in sight. I am looking for yet another job and like the last one I had (which lasted 3 weeks), plan to make it my "last job ever" and stay until I can't work any more. I know however, that a few weeks into it, I will become anxious and depressed over having to work only to make ends meet (there's never any extra for entertainment). I hate this cycle and I hate working to get by!!

Background - I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder in 2002 and have been on the same anti-depressant since then, mainly because I refuse to be a guinea pig and don't want to experiment with other meds. Approximately four years ago, I had a psychiatrist who suggested that I was ADHD and put me on Ritalin. It seemed to help me focus better, but I was afraid of the long term effects on my brain, based on all the research I did. I am a research fanatic and know I am only hurting myself by not giving in to the possibility of new meds, but frankly I am terrified of becoming a zombie or worse yet, an Alzheimer's patient.

I guess I just chimed in here to unload a little of my frustration, but reading all of the posts here, it was impossible not to compare and share. Thank you all for being here!

Grannietoolate - I sympathize with you, I am 22 but I experience the exact same emotions whenever I start working at a job. I am able to live at home with my elderly dad right now because in a way he needs me, but after he's gone I am very scared about supporting myself because I have so much anxiety and absenteeism with any job. Working for someone else never sat right with me, but starting a business is a risky and expensive endevour. I'm very sorry to hear about your friend who was fired 3 months before retirement, that's extremely tough, I can't believe they do that to people. That's a fear I have as well so I'm trying to get jobs that are very stable in terms of hospitals and universities, usually those two establishments really take care of their employees especially when it comes time for retirement. Both my parents worked at a university, my dad was an electrician and my mom was an office assistant who was promoted to office manager and she's been there ever since, my dad was medically retired and for the most part they took care of his retirement.
So Hospitals and Universities are the only places I've been applying to as far as a long term career goal.

I feel like so many people have major depression these days because it's a reflection of our plastic society, nothing wrong with the person but there's a lot wrong with the society. Humans were not meant to live the lives we live today - 8 hour work days sitting in a cubicle or behind a cash register. We were meant to work on our own land all day in the garden, fixing our cabins, gathering fire wood and hunting small animals for dinner - that was our exercise and that was our work. Not this corporate nonsense.
I am not a doctor, but the sheer overdiagnoses of mental disorders like ADHD are at a staggering number and there has been a lot of backlash about the drug ritalin. You should watch the youtube video - "The DSM: Psychiatry's Deadliest Scam".

I'm 21 and still in university which I can hardly handle at the moment...sometimes I can't even think of what I'm going to do when I get out and go to work...I don't have enough time even these years, will it ever change?

The only reason I can see working positively because I have a kind of dream workplace. Some companies have quite innovative offices which look almost like a playground instead of a place where you work a lot...I want to go a place like that. Maybe, if the atmosphere makes it all better, I could manage it...but I have no idea for how long.

I don't even want to get married or have children because I know how much time my career is going to demand of me. 8 hours a day for 5 days for the rest of my life. Not sure how I'm supposed to squeeze in a pregnancy with that kind of schedule, they only give maternity leave for a short period of time...then what?

I think that people who have work should be happy to have it. There are so many people who would like to work anything just to work and to earn money for a living, but they cannot. Be happy with the things you have. Always think about what others don't have and you will feel better.