[benson123]

I broke down at my new job today in front of my new boss. I don't know what to do. My anxiety is so out of control. I cannot concentrate or retain the info I need to do my job. I don't know what to do. Why is it so difficult for me? I called my old hmo (I don't have insurance cards yet) they are having someone from mental health call me back. What are my options? I need direction.

[Little Lulu]

Benson, you are under no obligation to be perfect in any relationship, including the one with your boss. New jobs are stressful and you are human. Calling for some support right now sounds like a smart move. Maybe that IS your next step.

[Raging Quiet]

Are you seeing anyone about managing anxiety?

I started my current job over 4 years ago and my anxiety spiralled (I was front line staff too then) I emailed a therapist one day at work and it was so helpful having someone to talk to and keep me in work and exploring anxiety. Now, I love my job (most days!) I told my new manager I was seeing a t (which reduced sick days)

If you can get the courage to speak to a counsellor, your anxiety levels may improve.

CBT is good at managing anxiety if you can't afford a t. If you google MoodGym it is a free CBT course.

Good Luck

[benson123]

I'll check it out. I have called many crisis lines after work just to talk. I have been emailing places around my home to find out who I can see. It's so hard with this job, finding time. I just don't feel like it is right for me. I told my boss I was struggling. I don't think likes me at all. I had a phone interview with my old employer. I hope it works out. The daily panic attacks and constant anxiety is just too much.

[likewater]

That's definitely no way too feel. I worked with a boss who out and out was trying to get me fired and would call me and my work a " a nightmares" in front of the other employees on her team. Actually, I think she wanted me to quit so they didn't have to pay unemployment. Hang in there. Remember that you are loved, and that workplace is lucky to have you. I hope that another job opens up for you or the circumstances at your current workplace change. May angels and all good things of the universe surround you.

[Verity81]

Hope you are able to get the help you need to manage the anxiety.

Let us know how you get on.

[benson123]

Today was bad. I had a phone interview with my old employer last week but have not heard anything. I made an appt with a therapist through my employer eap program but I don't know if I will last long enough at this place to get to it. I applied a few other places. I'm so fragile right now I don't know if another job would be a good solution. It gets worse every day at this job. I just don't understand it. It is not clicking for me. I have considered ssdi but I don't think I would get anything. Not enough documentation and I have a job now. What do I do about bills, rent and seeing a doctor?

[FourEyesAK]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I'm going through a similar situation at my job. I've been there for five years and have really been struggling for the past 6 months. I also had a breakdown in front of my boss when she called me out on my work quality, which she wasn't happy with. I dread going to work every day and am constantly looking for a way out. I've been looking for other jobs, but I haven't applied anywhere yet and I also wonder if the added stress of looking for a new job and possibly changing jobs is just making my anxiety worse. I wish I could just take a month or two off to put myself back together, but sadly that bills still have to get paid. It feels like a hopeless, no win situation.

I truly hope you're able to find a solution that works for you. You are not alone.

[lostsoul2013]

Hi there
Just wanted to post and send some hugs your way. I got sacked from my job this week as my anxiety overtook and I flared up at my Manager. It's difficult when you have no one to talk to about these things. I'm not from the US so can't advise on welfare over there. Here you don't get much at all to live on. I'm looking for another job and worried about bills, etc too.

I hope your telephone interview comes through for you.

Take care.

[benson123]

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your job. How horrible. I hope you can find another soon. Do you have unemployment benefits where you are? Anxiety is awful. People just don't understand the tricks it plays on your mind, confidence, physical health etc. You will be in my thoughts.

[lostsoul2013]

Thank you Benson

I'm hoping to get some temp work in the meantime. I'm not the first person to leave the role and there is high staff turnover so I don't feel completely responsible.

I agree anxiety can be hard to manage and gets out of control especially when you feel stressed.

I know people advise to give a job at least 6 months to settle in, but sometimes you get a gut feeling about these things.

Yes, there are unemployment benefits here but they are minimal and there is a set time period before you can claim.

How are you feeling now?

[benson123]

I'm still stressed. I have some appts set up. Still hoping my old employer will get back to me. Thanks for asking.

[lostsoul2013]

Hi Benson

Everything crossed for you. The world moves in mysterious ways and you will get the job that is right for you.

I've managed to get some work which is a relief. There are still bills to be paid

[benson123]

I'm so happy you found some work. That is great news. I hope it continues. My old employer got back to me. I hope I know something in the next couple weeks.

[RTerroni]

This has happened to me several times before and sometimes it has even cost me my job, so I know the feeling all too well.

[RomanSunburn]

Benson, have you heard anything?

[benson123]

I started at my old employer last week. It is good to be around familiar faces and routine. My anxiety is still very high. I'm glad to be out of the other job and very appreciative of my old employer giving me a second chance. I just don't know if I can work anymore. I feel like I have hit a wall. I need to work for financial and insurance reasons but I can't handle stress or make decisions confidently. I feel so out of control and irrational. I am in therapy and taking meds again. The first week was good at my new/old job. And everyone at my work is happy I am back. Maybe in a few more weeks it will be ok. I don't want to sound ungrateful or like a flake. I don't know how to explain it but I do know for sure I am better off leaving the other job as for my future I'm not sure yet. Thanks for checking in. I appreciate the interest and support. I just wish I could report better news on my recovery.

[Lynnalice]

Originally Posted by benson123

I broke down at my new job today in front of my new boss. I don't know what to do. My anxiety is so out of control. I cannot concentrate or retain the info I need to do my job. I don't know what to do. Why is it so difficult for me? I called my old hmo (I don't have insurance cards yet) they are having someone from mental health call me back. What are my options? I need direction.

My heart goes out to you. I am working at a job where there is relatively little stress but my anxiety level is so high I take an anti-anxiety pill and still feel lousy. Have you been on any medication? It can help and there are generic meds out there that are cheap. Keep talking because we all need to remember that we aren't alone.

[BitaDitaDoo]

How long have you been at your new job? You may want to look into FMLA or short-term disability through your employer. Not sure if it's possible to have FMLA/short-term disability during probation period. Did you recently had your medication adjusted?

[BitaDitaDoo]

I was a sufferer of anxiety and I hated anti-anxiety medication. I've developed anxiety from high levels of stress and through an adjustment period with my anti-depressant. Had my first panic attack last year while working. The best thing is to not over analyze situations. What are the factors that is causing you to be stressed? Co-workers/duties? Lack of sleep? Poor diet? Finances? Don't consume highly caffeinated drinks, if you do. I'm the type that has poor diet and horrible sleeping patterns which is the cause of it. I don't get the nutrients that I should from my meals because I barely eat greens, fruits, and lack protein. Now, I've been taking Omegas, a whole foods vitamin a day, plus eating balanced meals. Choline + Inositol (you can get from eggs) helps alleviate anxiety and is recommended for mental health benefits. Eat eggs, be happy. L-theanine is an amino acid from green tea and it's job is to relax you. That's if you do not want to be highly dependant on anti-anxiety medication. I stopped walking because it's winter but I used to just pace back and forth in hot weather, at least 4 miles just to walk off the anxiety. I'm not sure how I overcame my OCD thoughts that coincide with my anxieties though. I gave myself time to let the anxiety happen and did breathing exercises. It was horrible because I had racing thoughts that I've lost something/fear of dying. And I'd go into losing concentration due to OCD thoughts. Hopefully your old employer will give you that time to breath it out.

[benson123]

Thanks for all the info. Since my first post in this thread, I have been talking antidepressants and am in therapy. The anxiety has decreased meaning I don't have an attack every day or just cry uncontrollably but I do feel anxious still. I take vitamin D and C. I do drink too much caffeine and smoke so I need to work on those. I'm trying to eat better but without making too many excuses eating is hard. Food is like saw dust and I often feel nauseous eating. So if I can get anything down I feel that is a good step. My recurring thoughts are not as negative but my thoughts are still constant. I try not to chase the what ifs. It is all a struggle and I try everyday. Thanks for all of your input and support. It is very much appreciated.