I think my workplace is toxic.....

I have to say up to this point I loved my job. I'm in a field that I never thought possible of being in. I've been put down in the past told I could never be a designer in NYC. Ha did I prove that jerkoff wrong. Anyways I have been at a new firm since the beginning of the year and am able to get up everyday regardless on how I feel and give it 110% all the time. That is a huge accomplishment as just last year I lost 2 jobs due to my bipolar disorder. My bosses gave me a pretty good review about a month ago, though I was told I need to work on my time management. I agree with that as I do find it difficult at times to meet deadlines due to the **** I have to deal with in my head everyday. Anyways I have been busting my *** and was thrown under the bus by a fellow colleague. We are working on the same project and instead of coming and talking to me about his "concerns" he runs to my boss like a little *****. Says I don't think she is going to meet the deadline. That is such a crock of **** as I have been (and currently am) on schedule. Due to his lack of communication I got my *** reemed out. I spoke to my boss one on one to explain my side of the story and he would not even have it. Wouldn't let me speak, didn't want to hear it, didn't ****en give 2 shits. This is a very bad as this has skewed his view of my job performance. I was to get a raise next month and I am pretty sure it will not happen now. I am even worried about my job security. I have been through so much and turned my life around 180. I cannot lose everything again. I will not be able to bounce back this time. My resilience and tenacity is reaching a breaking point.

What should I do?? I can't focus I can't sleep I can't eat. This is ruining my quality of life!!! HELP!!!

Oh boy... I totally feel for what you are going through. I really do not have any answers. I'm confident in what I do - but, as I said in another post, it's the perception of the person responsible for our paycheck that matters. I'm sick to think of starting again - plus I love what I do - if others would just get out of my way - lol.
Yep today I'm up early with anxiety about the the job.

Hopefully your boss will be more approachable when he calms down-- it sounds like he just got really mad in the moment. I would try to own up to whatever your coworker said about you that was right and present a plan for how it won't happen in the future-- and then get to the parts your coworker was wrong about.

Working with people like that is very stressful

Horrible situation. I can relate.

If he's not listening and you feel your job is in jeopardy, I'd send him a short email in a few days. At least that way you have it documented that you are disputing any type of performance issue he may use later as an excuse to fire you.

You also should at some point communicate your disorder and that you wish to have accommodations to help you meet your deadlines. But consider this step carefully.

Don't give up even if the worse happens! Imagine the experience you obtained from the current job that you did not have before. If you can hang on a little bit longer in the current position (pretend you are an actress and you are cool, calm and collected), you can try to find another job.

Hi GerberDaisy,

In such situations I think it's best to just show up and be very calm.

I also have a possibly kookie idea. It's going to sound strange, but I mean it as a serious suggestion.

Go to work as usual, but pretend that you are an emotionless android version of yourself (maybe like the HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyessy or Mr. Data from Star Trek). Pretend that you are purely logically doing your job and observing your job situation and working environment in order to report back to your real self.

Carry a secret token with you to signify that you are really an android. Practice a slightly flat, totally calm voice kind of like this one



You'll know you've taken the analogy too far if you lock your colleagues out of the building and won't let them back in like HAL did

- vital

How are all those expletive-related rationalisations helping you??? This is an aura that you carry around with you whether you believe that or not...and they are contributing to your problems.

Calm down. Chill out. Let your talent speak for itself......

Chances are if you suspect it is toxic it probably is.

My last job was completely toxic for me. Did no good for my mental health.