It occurs to me I am not going to become 'hire-able'.

It's too bad it worked out that way, but it is pretty normal for the world of volunteering. I went to an orientation a few weeks ago where two people didn't show up to the first day and one guy showed up who wasn't supposed to be there!

In other words, if you ever want to volunteer there again, I wouldn't worry about looking bad

Yes I did

^Well aren't I intelligent, would seem you did.

Either way some people on the spectrum being able to hold a job doesn't mean I can, severity can vary.

I'm with you only w/out disability I didn't have enough work credits. What the hell do they call raising kids as a single mom?! I don't know about you but I never know how I will feel from one day to the next. Add Lupus to the mixture and I'm a hot mess! I don't have any inspirational words for you, I'm sorry, I'm still trying to figure this whole mental illness thing out. Be strong and go a moment at a time.

I think raising kids would be quite a job...but yeah I know for SSDI you have to have worked a certain amount to qualify, but with SSI which I have that is not the case so maybe worth looking more into. But yeah that is kind of how it is with me not knowing how I will feel...on some days I do feel more functional and probably could work a 'job' on those days, trouble is next day I could be very on edge being dragged into a pit of depression. Much of the time stress can bring on those symptoms too but sometimes things can be seeming to go ok and it more seems to come out of the blue. It was kind of hard getting on disability and I had to appeal because it was difficult to explain that while I can function well enough for work at times its too inconsistent and I wouldn't be able to handle the regular exposure to work stress let alone if something unexpected came up...without some sort of breakdown or falling into the despair or suicidal ideation and functioning progressively worse and worse.

I couldn't agree more! As far as SSI my husband makes too much money(LMAO) to qualify. In all fairness to my Bi Polar I do have Lupus, so there are days I simply can't get out of bed because of it's crippling effects when I am in a flare up. So one of those damn if you do, damn if you don't kind of situations. I'm with you on "some sort of breakdown or falling into despair..." Nobody wakes up thinking today I won't go to work because I'm going to have a psychotic break. If we could do that we would most definitely change our whole life! Just saying...