[Olanza-what?]

I was told that I would have great difficulty doing my job after having a ruptured brain aneurysm and I did. I went back to work full-time 3 months after and struggled terribly for about 2 years. Year 3, I had a mental break down. It was advised by the medical team psych docs to work part-time, so I did and have been for the last 3 years and I must admit that I have been doing poorly. Needless to say, my mental status has not improved and life’s events are not helping me at all. Everyone keeps telling me to go on disability but not one of them is helping and I am referring to the doctors.

I tried to go on disability but was told because I work part-time and earned just a pinch more than allowed I could not apply for disability. In the meantime, working part-time has drastically reduced what I would have gotten from my disability and if I were to go on disability I would not be able to manage my current living expenses.

I just found out recently that my job of 20 plus years is closing. Not only will I lose my job, but I won’t even get half of what I would have if I had been working full time in unemployment, and still I don’t qualify for disability.
My therapist tells me that I have enough health issues to warrant disability. What’s wrong with me you ask? Well, I have hypertension, quote on quote “simple partial seizure”, migraines, aortic valve disease and a thoracic aneurysm, my glaucoma which has been under control for some 15 years is back and my IOP is extremely high in both eyes, and last but not least, mental illness to include suicide ideation….guess what I am thinking. Yea, I hear it all the time…it’s not an answer but it is an option, one of few I seem to have.

I’ve spent 5 years fighting to survive, fighting to keep my mind, my skill, my life! I’m about to lose it all. I can’t think clearly and I am exhausted. I’ve never been more tired of anything. I’m 52 and I don’t know much, and what I know I don’t seem to manage well. I’m a simple person with complicated issues.

I am as ready as I have ever been to just throw up my hands and give up. Why? Why? Why?

It’s my own fault for being in this situation. If I had gotten a good education, been mindful of my money, taken better care of myself, sought out good doctors and therapist, not trusted others with my wellbeing or just died when my brain blew up, I wouldn’t be in this ******!, situation!

If is no longer …I’m too old, and too tired to start all over. They (doctors & family/friends) spend so much time telling my why I should stay but not one can tell me how.

I apologize for rambling.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Olanza-what?: The Skeezyks would simply like to send some healing thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace within...

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello Olanza-what?: The Skeezyks would simply like to send some healing thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace within...

thank you Skeezyks for that much needed hug. I am surrounded by family, co-workers and can't get one hug. I'm a mess and I know it and these turns of events just makes me that much more reluctant to keep trying.

I've signed up with multiple job search sites and have been combinb the want ads daily. Everyone is telling me to chill and just collect unemployment for as long as I can...then what?

I have not used a resume in over 20 years and having no real skills that make me marketable just cancels the resume out. It matters not anyway. I'm too old to learn new tricks and my health is just borderline enough to keep disability at bay.

I guess I should have posted this somewhere else. I wanted to vent and perhaps hoped someone could shed some small hope. Maybe someone knows something I don't.

Thank you for taking time to respond....it meant a lot.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((( Olanza )))))))))))

I love you my friend

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Olanza-what?

Everyone keeps telling me to go on disability but not one of them is helping

Exactly. Doctors and therapists know "their stuff," but by and large they don't know unemployment and disability.

When my productive life collapsed under the pressures of mental and physical illness, I quickly sought the help of organizational experts, knowing I'd never be able to navigate the bureaucracy on my own.

In your case, before making any commitments to a course of action, I recommend talking to one or more lawyers (or "disability advocates") who specialize in disability cases. They can knowledgeably advise you with respect to your conditions and the laws.

I've heard many people say you can't secure the services of a disability lawyer before being rejected once. I've seen no evidence this is true.

If you decide to go for disability, it is recommended to have some sort of expert develop your case carefully, employing their knowledge of the system and bureaucratic-legal argot that speaks directly to the expectations of the adjudicators.

Also, if you decide to apply for disability, I suspect you may be advised to exhaust your unemployment benefits first. (I may be wrong.)

Whatever you do, may you find the right course for you in your unique set of circumstances - including your sanity!

[seesaw]

I would like to reiterate that doctors and therapists really don't know what disability entails. You are right that what you get from disability is based on you earnings, so if you've only been working part-time, you will get less than that from disability. But the good news is that you can work part-time on disability. There is a certain amount that you are allowed to make up to monthly before they cut you off.

Also, lots of people recommend going through a lawyer to get disability, but I got disability on my first try without needing a lawyer, so it is possible, if you have all the documentation to get disability without the aid of a lawyer and on the first try. I would recommend trying to fill the paperwork out on your own first without the aid of a lawyer, and if it gets too confusing or if you get rejected and need to appeal, then get a lawyer.

I do know that it helped me that I had been hospitalized 5 times for severe depression and SH when i applied and I had not only submitted my records from those hospitalizations but pictures of what I had done to myself...I think that helped a lot. lol.

Good luck and I hope your situation turns out the best for you..

(((Hugs)))
seesaw

[Olanza-what?]

Thank you all for your responses and for your support. I don't know what to do and I'm to emotional to think. Every Friday my boss lets at least 2 people go. She is telling me that my job in secure at least through December....that's too late for my plans. Another co-worker shared the unemployment pay chart with me and because of the part-time I will not even earn enough to pay 1/2 of my bills, barely car payment.
I will give the car back, no big deal, my husband will be able to help with some of my bills and the rest...oh who cares. I can't take any of it with me.

I guess I'll just cross the bridges as they rise up. But again, thank you all for your insight, I found this information helpful. The lawyer issue frightens me but I guess if it should come down to that then I guess thats what I will/must do.

I just can't believe I've worked all my life, paid taxes and into SS and can't/don't have a thing and have to fight tooth and nail to get what is rightfully mine. This depresses me beyond my own comprehension. So much so that each breath hurts. My chest literally hurts.

In the meantime, I am still searching want ads and asking family and friends of any job openings. I'm just afraid that I am not strong enough for this battle or if I even want to fight it. I know, I shouldn't think like this but I am so hurt, tired, confused and lost. I feel so hopeless/helpless.

[notz]

Selling the car ahead of time and maybe getting another vehicle outright with no payments is the way to go. If you let the car go back to the financier your credit rating will take a hit and why not avoid that? The sooner you do it, the sooner you can stop that car payment and hopefully be able to put it aside for when your job ends.

I'm sorry things have been so tough for you and doubly sorry that the future looks so grim. Please take control of what you can and fight! You haven't come this far to land on your head and give up. Fight!

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by notz

Selling the car ahead of time and maybe getting another vehicle outright with no payments is the way to go. If you let the car go back to the financier your credit rating will take a hit and why not avoid that? The sooner you do it, the sooner you can stop that car payment and hopefully be able to put it aside for when your job ends.

I'm sorry things have been so tough for you and doubly sorry that the future looks so grim. Please take control of what you can and fight! You haven't come this far to land on your head and give up. Fight!

I tell people all the time that I am psychic. About 6 months ago, I had a vision of things goin awry with my life. My gut instinct told me to sell my car and again try for disability. Well, I tried and because I had only had the car for 2 years (only 14,000 miles less/more) I thought it would be easy to sale back, but they only offered me Kelly Bluebook value and I still would have owed 10 grand. I knew something bad was coming my way. I could feel it all around me because everything I tried to do to better me crumbled and things just keep getting worse. I have so a great feeling of doom and this is not in my mind, this is happening, really happening. I'm doomed.

I'm going to have to take the hit with credit. I can't afford to keep it, no one wanted to buy it a few months ago and my credit wont matter if I don't have a job or other means of paying for it anyway.

I appreciate your support, thank so very much.

There is a lady called stopdog who mostly posts on the psychology forum and she is a lawyer, how about sending her a PM? I'm so sorry you're having such a stressful time. I live in the UK so I can't offer any practical advice, other than maybe use LinkedIn, depending on what you do for a living, I've found it fantastic. But huge hugs and warmth and comfort sent your way, and a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and sprinkles.

[Olanza-what?]

Originally Posted by Little Cat

There is a lady called stopdog who mostly posts on the psychology forum and she is a lawyer, how about sending her a PM? I'm so sorry you're having such a stressful time. I live in the UK so I can't offer any practical advice, other than maybe use LinkedIn, depending on what you do for a living, I've found it fantastic. But huge hugs and warmth and comfort sent your way, and a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and sprinkles.

I'll do that. thanks so much for this information and also for your support. I don't want to do what I currently do now because it is too stressful and I am struggling with managing now. My boss is tolerant of my errors because she knows what I was once able to do and therefore was very patient most of the time in allowing me extra time to get things done. I struggle seriously with focus issues and am easily confused, especially if distracted and my job required acuracy, needless to say, I have not done my job well in some time now and as a matter of fact half of the duties I use to do I no longer do. I am useless but because of how long I was employed there and the history, she would not fire me. She kept her promise and did not fire me nor cut my hourly wage. She has reached the age of retirement and is closing her business. I don't blame her, I actually envy her and I am happy for her, she's earned it.

Thank you again.