Dealing with rude coworkers and customers....

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Sorry for coming across as harsh. I didn't mean that. Plus I was drinking last night, lol. Thanks for your insight. I didn't mean to call anyone a bully on here. And although there is no doubt bullies exist at work, I do get there are lots of different types of people at work. I don't expect everyone to think or act like me, but I do expect to be treated with respect at the very least. I don't care about being popular or liked like I said before.

Long story short, I think that I got fired today. I posted about it in this post and an other one I think so check it out if you're interested in hearing about what happened. I'm more depressed than ever. I feel like I'll never fit in and be able to find and keep any decent job as it's tough to do with an MI on top of mostly enduing up working in jobs that introverts tend to struggle with.

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Sorry to hear that. That's awful. I was drinking last night and was in a bad mood. Maybe bullying wasn't exactly the right word to use. I did feel like I wasn't being treated respectfully at times for sure though.

As for the amazon job, I only went to the interview. I got the offer but turned it down since I heard so many bad things about the company and how bad they treat their employees. Maybe you meant Walmart or Ulta? Those were my last two jobs. And I'm NOT exaggerating the nasty treatment I got at both places. I only had issues with a few people at both places. NONE of the managers seemed to have a problem with me.

Only a few younger immature cliquey girls made my life hell. I hate people ate times. I quit Walmart since I had my d.l and a small amount of cash stolen. I refuse to work with thieves. They wanted me out of there for sure and who knows what they would've done next had I stayed?

I get what you're saying. I might not always agree with others say, but I do try to listen to everyone who offers constructive criticism and advice. I didn't mean to assume anything about anyone. I've been in such a bad mood lately and very depressed so if I seem miserable or whatever, I'm not always that way, but how the hell can I be happy for now when bad **** keeps happening to me? It's not always my fault. I did try my best at each place.

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Retail is hard work and not for people like me maybe. Maybe I'd be OK with stock, but when I'd rather not deal with people all the time. It's to much for me and I need some down time to recharge.

I've never taken any of those tests since Jr. High. I was told that I'd make a great nurse, lol. I beg to differ as I don't like being around sick people and I get stressed out easily. I'd be great as some writer, shopper, free lance photographer, or maybe even counselor, lol. I like writing, do data entry work would be good too as well as computer work. I'm not good with computers though. I can deal with people better on the phone, and I used to do stuff like customer service and receptionist work years ago.

I'd do that now, but I need to have good computer skills to get any of those jobs now which I don't have- So I have limited options for now. And of course I'm only there for a paycheck.

Long story short, I think that I got fired today. I already wrote about it a few times, so you can find it on this board or another one probably. I'm even more depressed now. If I actually did get fired, I'll finally now have time to go to that free counseling place. If not, then I can only go there on certain days. They close at 2p.m and I can't go when I work apparently. They have different groups for different days so going to a men's support group for example won't help me, lol.

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I get that. I appreciate that people are trying to help. I'm NOT always the problem though. I do my best and work hard and I try to be nice and talk to everyone there but for some reason some people end harassing me for some reason.

Let's face it, there will always be assholes and perverts at most jobs. And as others have stated, when you're shy, quiet, and a loner with no real friends at work, you basically have a target on your back from day one. It's NOT just me. Some people are just nasty assholes who won't even try to give a new person who's trying their best a chance.

Also, maybe people assume that I'm snotty and unfriendly for being quiet before even trying to get to know me? I can't help it if some people are like that.

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I wasn't trying to be *****y. I was upset, yes, but not *****y. Did I call them names? No! If you aren't able to offer any constructive criticism or insight, then please don't respond and get all snarky with me, ok?

Not being *****y, just being my usual blunt and honest self. And if they have an issue with me, they can speak for themselves, and they did. I sure don't need anymore stress or attitude from anyone!

That is insight about how you are viewed by others. If you talk to coworkers they way you speak to people here I can see why they keep their distance and avoid you. I see it as well. You speak down to people. You claim you are nice and kind but I've yet to see that in anything you post. It's all judgement and wild speculation. On top of that you seem to expect special treatment instead of taking a proactive approach about your job training. I've tried to be kind to you as I have about 15 years experience between food service and retail and I know what is expected of you and I've been bullied for most of my life but I really don't know what else I can say that will help you because you need to not want to hear any opinion but your own.

So, you've listed all the things you don't want to do for a job, and unfortunately, I think you've eliminated like every job that exists.

You gotta buck up. No one likes their jobs 100%. Some of us only like the fact that we get a paycheck. It's called work for a reason.

I'm glad you explained your behavior , drinking and posting often leads to problems.

I can't think of a single bit of advice , since I think everyone has covered it all throughly.

I wish you well

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How would YOU react IF you were being called "*****y" by someone? That was rude IMHO. I never once called anyone *****y on here, and now I'm the one who's not nice? I don't get it. So what am I supposed to do, let people treat me badly and talk down to me? I don't think so. I'm not a doormat. That's not being mean.

I find that by not speaking up and standing up for yourself, you'll only get taken for granted, treated like a doormat, or bullied. How would YOU react to a coworker who made a rude remark to you?

I'm not being sarcastic at all. I'd really like to know how YOU would handle situations like that assertively. You seem know how to deal with bullies now, so please tell me what's the best way to deal with bullies and people who are rude and disrespectful to you at work.

I do appreciate everyone's help including yours. Most people have not taken to much offense at what I said, but apparently some people have. I don't mean to come across as mean or whatever since I'm not. I will say this, it's hard to be calm and nice when I feel like I'm being judged and made to feel like whatever bad stuff happens to me is somehow my fault. It's not. None of you were there, so you don't know what I had to go through. It wasn't easy let me tell you that.

And I did say some unflattering things about my coworkers and boss, and I shouldn't have, but it wasn't anything that wasn't untrue. I could've toned it down a bit and I will next time.

For the record, I never yelled at anyone like my boss did to me. And I'm the one who's not nice? I don't get that line of logic .Also, what kind of proactive approach do you think I should've taken? I did today by emailing the store manager and keeping my emotions in check. I did not cry, scream, or tell anyone off after hearing about the bad news. I calmly said ok, I understand and asked her if I was being fired or not.

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I get that. I just think that a job to where I can work independently at home or mostly on my own would suit me best probably. I can work fine with the right people. I got along with most of the people there, but not everyone is going to like me and there's nothing I can do about that. I don't care about them not liking me either. I don't expect special treatment like others have stated here and there. Is it to much to be expected to treated with kindness and respect by others? I don't think it is.

Most people in person are nice to me, but at work, there are always some jerks there that seem to sense my weakness or the fact that I'm different than other people and try to make my life at work difficult at times. I tried my best to just do my job and not get involved in gossip, and I didn't. That girl telling me about her injuries doesn't qualify as gossip to me. It was more like a warning. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, I know in my heart that I worked hard, tried my best, did mess up a few times, and I was nice to people and not one customer had a bad thing to say about me.

So how bad can I be considering only a few of the women, and maybe the one guy in the deli seemed to have some issues with me? I was hitting the ground running and I was only there for a week. I got just about everything down pat in the last few days. Most places would give you two weeks at least before letting you go for not being "fast" enough. I made mistakes at Ulta, but I was able to stay there for almost a month before I decided to quit. Something is amiss here. I can just feel it. They were expecting a lot more of me than just being fast. I can tell.

How about cleaning? I cleaned houses before. It certainly is a quiet job. Or offices? Why bot take computer class? You can learn the skill. Become medical biller? I mean there are tons of things one can do. Factory job? Keep in mind without education skills or experience your choices are limited. But you can take steps in improving. Get training. Etc etc

Imagine you'd have no husband? You'd have to work to survive.

Shy I'm really sorry to read things are difficult for you at the moment.

It's not for me to comment on whether you are simply not suited to this environment or not. I just wanted to add that I understand how difficult it can be adapting to workplaces after a long time out, this is something I recently did too and it takes some adjustment both bodily and mentally.

I wonder if some of the issues you are having are due to adapting and being well out of your comfort zone (you don't have to answer this). I can tell you although I am settled in my new job there have been times over the last few months where I have felt like quitting, enough to send off some other applications. I have stuck in and weathered out those moments and feel more settled these days.

It takes time, and getting to understand workplace dynamics takes time too - there are co-workers I was wary of initially who I came to realise are okay really, barks can be worse than bites.

In situations like that Ive always thought " If ignorance is bliss no wonder you are so happy" Dont let the little people get you down

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Thanks for the tips. I'll look into cleaning offices. Are there any good job boards for that? If so, please send me the links. I can't afford to take any classes for now. Long story short, you know the story about our house and the IRS.

Good news, we aren't going to loose our house. My husbands good friend loaned him close to ten grand for us to get by for now. Great guy! I do realize that my options are limited. I am improving and despite what others have said about me on here, I haven't really done anything wrong. I just have bad luck at times and yes, I don't always react to some situations with a calm head. I'll try to work on that more and try harder to ignore or avoid the mean people at work. I'll brush up on reading about how to deal with bullies and difficult people at work as well as my whole Dummies guide on communication and assertiveness skills, lol.

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You hit the nail on the head. The jobs I had, or the one that I think and hope that I still have does push me out of my comfort zone. It is not natural or comfortable for an introvert, especially a shy one to have to talk to people all day long. We need our down time and our space to recharge.

And sometimes people think that we're being "weird", unfriendly, "snotty" or wherever for not being chatterboxes and not wanting to share our every thought with them. Was told one time a long time ago by a former female boss during a fake phone reference from a friend that I don't know ow to mingle with people. That was rude and illegal too.

If you don't mind me asking, what issues are you having at work that made you want to quit? How do you deal with people at work who treat you badly? I could always use some good advice! I've also been out of work for a long time, almost 16 years to be exact. So I need time to adjust and get used to certain things and people now. I need to do more research on here on how to deal with difficult people, how to handle difficult work situations and stuff like that.

I hope that my new position will be a better fit for me. Wish me luck!

I'm glad you have reconsidered that cleaning is too "menial" for you.

Thank you.

Sorry I don't have links to cleaning job as I did MANY years ago. It was word of mouth. Did you check retirement homes? They need wait staff (way easier then regular restaurant as it is always same clientele and slower pace), they need cleaning people and kitchen staff and care givers. Look into that

I am a housekeeper at the Hilton Garden Inn and I absolutely LOVE IT! It's tough, tough, tough work, certainly not for the weak, but as a housekeeper there is minimal "people interactions". Guest-wise you see them passing by and sometimes they'll ask you for coffee or soap, and then there are times when the guest answers the door during a stayover, and if you're me who knocks on doors first thing in the morning you can wake up an entire floor! BAHAHAHAHAHA! I've done that once and it was so hilarious. *knock knock knock* "Housekeeping!" "NO!" I swear to god I was new and my usual routine is to knock on all the doors to see what's available (which now the first thing I do is check with Front Desk for available rooms) and I may have only gotten into one room but I woke up the entire floor I was on. Oooooops! hahahahahaha!

I love cleaning but I also love people so I am cross-trained as a Front Desk Agent. It's great! Hotels are always in need of housekeepers as it is high-turnover and it's the best job you can get to work by yourself without working at home. AAAAND NOT ALL HOTELS ARE THE SAME! My first hotel job as a housekeeper was awful, they set me up to fail and made me believe I couldn't make it as a housekeeper, which literally has been my dream since I was 4. But I dusted off my boots and went to another hotel and it is so amazing, complete opposite of the first hotel. Hotels will never go out of business so if you don't like one you can try another!

I think you are right, you do need time to adjust.

It's interesting what you say about being introverted and needing time to recharge, I think that may be true but also you have gone from not working to almost fulltime in a very short space of time - that in itself will be draining you while you adapt. Taking in all that new information is exhausting too.

As far as being an introvert, well there are degrees and different types of introversion, being an introvert doesn't mean you aren't suited to working with the public. I score as an introvert on Myers Brigg but I like people and enjoy the customer contact aspect of my job, the two aren't necessarily exclusive. I also read that you say there was zero complaints from customers about you, that would indicate you are handling that part of the job just fine. Of course only you will know whether that customer facing aspect of the job is right for you.

In my situation the time when I have felt like quitting was when my hours were upped from my contract, for many people who need every bit they can get this would be welcome but I actually chose my job because it was those hours. Not being consulted and being told this was my new working week didn't sit well with me and I was concerned they would up my hours even more. I even posted on the careers section here about it. Since then they have actually cut my hours by one a week which I'm pleased about and we'll see about that in the new year once the retail Christmas madness is over.

As for people, well tbh that wasn't really the problem in my case. Not everyone is either perfect nor my kind of person there but that's okay. I have had a manager in my last job (last year) who stressed me greatly, that's another story, but she wasn't coping and lashed out quite a few times I wasn't happy in that environment and left (& ended up on SSRI meds). Some people say I should have challenged her (she yelled at me more than a few times very unprofessional*) but I knew I did not have the reserves to do that - it was easier to walk away from the situation for me. It was a real big dilemma for me but I am happy with my decision now, over a year later, I don't dread going to work every day.

Only you can know but give yourself time, things may well settle, and you'll be gaining experience all the time which will help you in the future.

You're right about learning about people too, you meet a broad spectrum at work and we all have our foibles to some degree. The workplace certainly an education in life's rich tapestry that's for sure.

* - When she yelled at me I felt seriously triggered (I have anxiety) and I would literally freeze.

I'm afraid what I'm going to say will antagonize you, but I say it not to judge, rather to let you see things from a different perspective.

I think you don't really want to work at all. You've been at home for the past 16 years and you like it that way. So, these repeating issues with bullies and rude people are coming up because you are looking for things to go wrong because you really don't want to be there. You are only working to help with your house support, and now you've been given bail out money from a friend.

Also, you really aren't shy. You're more antisocial. See the definitions:

Shy:
1.
being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people.
"I was pretty shy at school"
synonyms: bashful, diffident, farouche, timid, sheepish, reserved, reticent, introverted, retiring, self-effacing, withdrawn, timorous, mousy, nervous, insecure, unconfident, inhibited, repressed, self-conscious, embarrassed
"I was painfully shy"

Antisocial:
not sociable; not wanting the company of others.
synonyms: unsociable, unfriendly, uncommunicative, reclusive, withdrawn, avoidant; informalstandoffish

To me, a shy person wants to be with others but worries if they won't be liked. An antisocial one doesn't really like the other people.

I find from all your posts, more of an antisocial attitude than a shy one. I'm sorry if this offends you.

I don't know about anti-social or shy (I don't see shyness but I can only go by posts on here so not sure). But I agree with tish that I think you don't really want to work.

It's usually jealousy at work. Some are so jealous that employees don't like them they try to wield what little power they have over people to try and "make" people like them. How sad is that? When you have to try to force a friendship. Desperation makes you do crazy things.

I agree you don't seem shy to me, even by your description of how you interact. Shy people find it extremely painful to interact with others and you don't really describe that. I am a shy person who is also an extrovert (yes, I know that's weird). I love hanging out with people but it's extremely painful for me to come out of my shell. I have done a lot of work on how to cope with my shyness. But I'm by no means an introvert.

I also agree, I think you don't want to work. I say that because with everyone's comments you seem to have an excuse for why you're not the problem or the issue isn't yours.

I really recommend doing some introspection and examining why the same things are happening to you over and over.

Good luck
Seesaw

I dont think it applies to this situation. I see how people might get jealous somebody goes up on corporate ladder or is liked by a management. I
don't see what these people would be jealous of here since they don't even know the person?

Hello shy_introvert! I'm surprised about some of the reactions I saw to your post! Ouch.

I feel that you are sensitive. I can relate to that as I am pretty sensitive too. Where as the non-sensitive folk can brush off rude people and co-workers, we tend to feel very personal about it and it certainly is no fun. I think that it's definitely not you hating work but you hating the work that you are taking. As a introverted, nay, antisocial person, working in a beauty store or a deli sounds overwhelming to me Why specifically? Because of the type of people in those environments. I worked at mcdonalds when I was 18 for six months and the vibe of the management was simply overwhelming for the type of person I am, and the coworkers were immature. I never worked at a beauty/clothing store but I already knew I would not be able to work with girls/guys at a cosmetics store because I pre-imagine a good handful of them as being snotty, not that thats that bad but I'm too sensitive for that to deal with clique-y people. >_< SO basically I accepted what I know about myself and have chosen my work based on what I like, but also with consideration of what kind of social interactions would be involved and what kind of people would be likely to work there or be customers there. I am just finishing up my semester at school and am going to get another job now (been out of work for 7 weeks but had lots of savings) and am applying at places like craft stores, pet stores, cleaning jobs, stuff I'm confortable with for now, although I want to break out of my comfort zone eventually.

I think you really need to think about what kind of people uplift you and you might like working around (for me, i like crafting/animals, and have done well working in these stores and with the type of people who want to work at them too), or also jobs that have more limited customer/co-worker relations (i worked 3rd shift at a small hotel (alone), for example) You can definitely work on trying to improve how you handle social situations/etc, but in the mean time you should definitely find work that is actually a good or at least closer fit to you/your interests, abilities but also consider your sensitivities a bit or you might just end up walking into a place that makes you too uncomftable for you to last there.