One of the biggest issues that I am having in my life and perhaps the source of most of my problems right now is the lack of a stable income. I've been trying to find work but I can't seem to do anything right no matter how hard I try.

What makes things worse is that I am a loser. A loser because:

I'm a 25 year old male with NO provable work experience. I've never had a regular job ever in my life aside from some contract work several years ago that I can't even prove that I did.
I have NO drivers license. I never even had the chance to take driver's ed back in high school because my narcissist mother wouldn't let me. She insisted on controlling my life and not letting me learn things on my own which is causing me trouble as an adult because I don't know how to do things like normal people. Simple things such as managing money, socializing, networking with people who could help me, and even cooking food or cleaning are a challenge for me still let alone getting a license and driving.
I am reliant on donating plasma and a short term housing grant for youths (ages 16-25) with mental illness to pay for my living expenses. My contract with the people providing me the grant will expire in October which will mean that I will end up being homeless if I can't find a way to pay my rent which plasma alone WONT do.
I have NO references. I have no family anymore and hardly any friends. I live in my small $500 per month studio Apt. that I have to rely on a grant to pay for because I cannot even afford to pay a measly $500 a month on my own. I never leave except to donate plasma or go to the store and I am reliant on the slow bus system in my area which takes me 30 mins to over an hour to go places that would normally take 10-20 minutes by car. I can't even afford furniture and only own a bed, desk, 3 chairs, and computer. I don't even have any pots and pans to cook with. I have nothing and nobody.
And finally, I have NO confidence. I truly believe that I have no worth to any employers because of my problems and lack of experience. I believe that when trying to find a job, if it was ever down to me or another person, that other person would always win because I have nothing to show or offer compared to everyone else. I want to prove myself but I can't when nobody will even give me a fair chance.

I want to work. I don't want to rely on disability or SSI or grants or anything else. All I want is to take care of myself and life a meaningful life, but I am struggling. I just want a part time job at an entry level position so I can start saving money while I am still having most of my expenses paid, but I can't even get a job at Walmart or McDonalds because I have no experience or references and even if I get an interview, I never get a call back. I mean, heck, I couldn't even get a job at Walmart working in the back packaging meat part time at night during the holidays when there were only 2 other people who applied for the same job and got the interview. How utterly pathetic and dehumanizing.

I'm trying to volunteer right now while I wait for my application with DRS to complete so I can at least build some experience and references, but doing so is even proving difficult for me because I am having trouble finding volunteer oppertunities where I live that don't require references and won't make me walk 2-3 miles AND ride the bus for an hour just to get to which is difficult. I mean, it's hard enough for me to find a regular job, why should I be treated the same way when I am offering to do FREE LABOR for people for ****s sake?

So I need a job. Any job. I would prefer part time to adapt to working on a regular schedule as part time would currently make me enough money even on minimum wage as I can also continue donating plasma making my measly $80 per week and maybe qualify for food stamps. I will shovel cow crap or work in a sewer or do any job that most people would avoid at this point just to get my foot in the door.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks.

[Nammu]

Don't know what to say except to keep trying to volunteer and don't give up.

Hi there,

Not sure where you are located, but here in Ontario, Canada there is an employment program for youth (ages 29 and under) that are having trouble finding employment. I just completed the program myself (it was 60 hours worth of workshops that you get paid to attend), and my profile is now being submitted to job developers to match me with a job that suits my interests and qualifications. Perhaps you have something like this where you live?

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Hi there,

Not sure where you are located, but here in Ontario, Canada there is an employment program for youth (ages 29 and under) that are having trouble finding employment. I just completed the program myself (it was 60 hours worth of workshops that you get paid to attend), and my profile is now being submitted to job developers to match me with a job that suits my interests and qualifications. Perhaps you have something like this where you live?

I wish. The closest thing that I have access to is a program called DRS which helps those with disabilities find a job and gain any skills that they need but they don't provide any way to earn money while you job hunt.

Also it takes awhile to get in. I will still most likely have to wait at least another month just to get started.

Thanks for reminding me just how backwards the US is in it's mental healthcare haha

[UCLAFan]

Drs both times told me to settle for fast food or retail because I am disabled & nobody else would hire me.they put a lot of pressure on me to take the first job offer I got.to work 40 hours a week even though dr's said if I work 20 hours or less a week.also I signed up to get help from them again.but then I had not heard from them In months & some rude lady calls me up & yells at me that I did not show up to a appointment.she yelled at me before she even asked for my name or told me who she was.Then she asked if I want to have another appointment & I told her no because I had just recently injured my foot.then this same rude lady told me if I did not get help from them she was going to get me kicked off social security,food stamps etc.i have dealt with them 3 different times in 20 plus years & the office near me was nothing but rude to me.last job I had lied & said they where hiring part time only & then wanted me to work 40 to 50 hours a week.they knew I had epilepsy because I got a job coach & the y told my boss.i worked there for 6 months had a nervous break down at work & got fired.i hope the office you go to treat you better then the office I dealt with

Originally Posted by UCLAFan

Drs both times told me to settle for fast food or retail because I am disabled & nobody else would hire me.they put a lot of pressure on me to take the first job offer I got.to work 40 hours a week even though dr's said if I work 20 hours or less a week.also I signed up to get help from them again.but then I had not heard from them In months & some rude lady calls me up & yells at me that I did not show up to a appointment.she yelled at me before she even asked for my name or told me who she was.Then she asked if I want to have another appointment & I told her no because I had just recently injured my foot.then this same rude lady told me if I did not get help from them she was going to get me kicked off social security,food stamps etc.i have dealt with them 3 different times in 20 plus years & the office near me was nothing but rude to me.last job I had lied & said they where hiring part time only & then wanted me to work 40 to 50 hours a week.they knew I had epilepsy because I got a job coach & the y told my boss.i worked there for 6 months had a nervous break down at work & got fired.i hope the office you go to treat you better then the office I dealt with

That sucks man. I heard a similar story from one of my former friends who tried to get on with drs and they had him work at this party center (the big ones with a bunch of games and a food court and the loud people) as an introvert with autistic traits and he hated it, but I am willing to do a job that I hate for now just for a paycheck at this point.

I eventually want to start a business reselling goods online or refurbishing appliances or electronics but it takes money to make money so I need any job no matter how miserable it is to start saving up money while I'm living cheaply for now so I don't end up struggling more 7 months from now when my housing grant expires.

DRS remains my only viable option because I simply lack the knowledge and experience required to find a job on my own with my issues and I need all of the help I can get.

Still though, any advice I can get would be amazing. It's not like I'm asking for a lot here, just a minimum wage job either at a fast food place, a Walmart, or even a Goodwill at this point that many normal high school students seem to have no trouble getting.

[LiteraryLark]

Have you thought about temp agencies? Their job is to find you a job. They do all the job hunting, they ask you about your skills, the type of job you're looking for, and the minimum amount you'll work for and whether you want FT or PT. I'm guessing even if you don't have any skills, they'll still be able to find you a good fit. And the best part is the ball is entirely in your court. They can offer you a job and you can say yes or no. But the advice I've been given is that if you accept a position you need to stick to it until the contract is over. Show up to work every day and be on time. Not sure what to say about the lack of transportation. They may be able to find work close by or near a bus stop.

You may have been dealt a shi**y hand, but you're not a loser. Losers give up. Losers are moochers and expect everything given to them. It sounds like you're in a horrible place but you're willing to succeed despite your obstacles. Sounds like a hero in the making to me. ((hugs))

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

Have you thought about temp agencies? Their job is to find you a job. They do all the job hunting, they ask you about your skills, the type of job you're looking for, and the minimum amount you'll work for and whether you want FT or PT. I'm guessing even if you don't have any skills, they'll still be able to find you a good fit. And the best part is the ball is entirely in your court. They can offer you a job and you can say yes or no. But the advice I've been given is that if you accept a position you need to stick to it until the contract is over. Show up to work every day and be on time. Not sure what to say about the lack of transportation. They may be able to find work close by or near a bus stop.

You may have been dealt a shi**y hand, but you're not a loser. Losers give up. Losers are moochers and expect everything given to them. It sounds like you're in a horrible place but you're willing to succeed despite your obstacles. Sounds like a hero in the making to me. ((hugs))

I tried working with a temp agency once last year and it didn't go so well for me.

A big problem that I'm still facing is a lack of references. I literally have nobody in my life that would be a reference for me. I have no past employers and no family or friends who can help me. The only person who might be able to help me is my case manager but that would likely mean that I would have to disclose my mental illness which I don't feel comfortable doing.

Even the fact that I don't have any provable work experience wouldn't be an issue if I had a valid reference that I could use to get me in the door, but I don't which is why I am trying to volunteer while I wait on my DRS application to complete. What sucks unfortunately is that I tried filling out a few applications for volunteer positions in my area that would be able to help me build valid references and experience (I'm excluding the many that say come in for 3 hours a week or a few days a month or whatever which is not enough time to get what I need) and almost all of them required me to have references (which I don't have). I have found 2 so far that don't and one was a thrift store where the owners just had a death in the family right before I submitted my application and the other requires me to walk 2.5 to and from the nearest bus stop every day just to get there which is too much to ask out of me to do 3-4 days a week without including a paycheck.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to try out some more temp agencies if I can find some that offer entry level positions but I just don't see it happening without references.

I can relate to the struggle in finding the right volunteer position, it took me ages to find the right one when I wanted to volunteer (similar to you, big gap in employment record no work references). It can take a while, hang on in there.

It also took me a while to get an entry level job too, and I was applying for everything, good references (through volunteering), it's just competitive out there. I do think a certain amount of it is down to luck, like mud on the wall something will stick eventually.

I'm just going to do what LiteraryLark suggested and apply for work at temp agencies.

I am done dealing with volunteering because it's too much of a hassle just to build references when I could be doing jobs that actually pay me money while accomplishing the same thing even if I only work a job that they give me for a couple of weeks it's better than giving my time for free while still being treated like they pay me an hourly wage and I owe them something.

I'll be having a talk with my case manager regarding this on Monday and I'll let you guys know more when I do.

I'm done being treated like I don't matter. It's time to take what I want in life.

I have a game plan now. Going to get some help writing a basic Resume even though I don't have anything all that impressive to throw on it. I will just list a bunch of personality traits and skill sets and I will hit up both a bunch of temp agencies and entry level jobs doing anything; fast food, retail, bagging groceries, anything.

I just need to save up money while I am living with most of my expenses paid then I think I could start my own online business and get by that way.

I also am planning on getting some student loans and grants and go to college next fall. I still need to catch up on my general education since I am behind due to my high school life being utterly terrible, but I think I can manage. Not to mention, I can get my housing needs paid for that way if I still can't afford to pay rent on my own.

[eyesclosed]

It's the job market it's a employers market .So references are tough I had 2 jobs in 24 yrs. If I was you I would want to work by myself do you like painting if so put an ad on the interenet

I could paint but I haven't done so in ages so I probably suck at it lol.

Not to be rude, but I know how it's an employer's market or how competitive the job market is so being told that serves no purpose and only makes me depressed and discouraged so please refrain from replying with responses as such, especially if you don't have a lot of experience finding jobs or you never had to deal with the hell us youth who came of age during the 2nd worst recession in the history of the US have gone through.

Anyways, I meet my case manager tomorrow afternoon and he got me some references for me and is helping me form a resume so I will be submitting a lot of applications both on online and in person throughout all of next week.

I am going to give the job hunt a solid attempt for at least 1-2 months before I resort to doing something unfavorable, such as lie about my experience or design fake references, however, I am willing to sink to such lows to get what I want if I see no other viable option. If I do such things, I will even invest money into knowledge to help me do so successfully so I can get in the door fast and easy. Integrity doesn't pay the bills despite my so called elders favor towards it; money does and you can't earn money without income.

Ultimately, if I can't even get a job at retail or fast food, then it's a problem with a failed system rather than myself.

For those of you who are curious, I plan on buying this eBook and studying it just in case I need the knowledge:

Fake Resume - The Machiavellian Guide to Writing Resumes, Cover Letters and Job Hunting

This might work for you. A few years back I had gotten laid off due to budget cuts. Despite the fact that had been laid off 2 weeks into the job and that I actually had proof and a letter from my employer that it was a budget issue I still had a SUPER hard time getting a job. I knew I would have to get some employment that showed I was stable.

So one day when I was at a small employer for an interview... (small because sometimes large companies will not do this) I came up with an on the spot idea. I said, look I have a proposal for you. I will work for you for 6 weeks for free. If you don't like my work, all I will do is ask for a reference and you can say the 6 weeks was a temp job. If you do like my work, you can hire me.

He went for it and he hired me.

In the right circumstance this can work. I suspect that he hired me mostly because it would have been such a hassle to go back to the search for someone. But if they don't want to keep you -- you can STILL list it as a job and they probably will provide you a good reference.

That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea. It's such a shame I have to resort to doing things like this though all because I've been dealt an unfair hand.

We don't get to choose who our families or where we're born so it's not my fault my so called "family" was completely useless and didn't teach me the skills that I need to survive as an adult.

Still though, it seems that only the ruthless survive and thrive. If I want to survive in this dark screwed up work than I have to not be above doing things like manipulating and lying or being cunning such as the example you used Emily.

Me continuing to play the victim won't solve anything. Those of us with MI have to be ready to sink to any low necessary to function in this world otherwise people will continue to walk over us.

This whole experience thing is utterly messed up. I was just looking various jobs online and people want 2-5 years of experience to do things like manage inventory at warehouses, yet I know 12 year olds who could do a job like that in their sleep.

I also found one application that said if you have ever been unemployed for more than 2 months don't bother applying. Seriously there should be laws against companies doing things like this.

Sorry but if these big greedy *** corporations want to treat innocent people who just want to be given a fair chance like this, I have zero moral objections against lying to or cheating them.

Screw them.

/rant off

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Sorry but if these big greedy *** corporations want to treat innocent people who just want to be given a fair chance like this, I have zero moral objections against lying to or cheating them.
Screw them.
/rant off

A couple of months ago I saw on the "penny horder" (they have listings of entry level jobs you can do from home) someone looking for very duh like jobs. Stuff that you can do from home. I went through the entire application -- giving all my personal data... and at the end they wanted references AND a skype interview. What for? I mean geeez you either do the work or you don't.

Where I work I was applying for a new job within the agency. The actual boss came over and asked me to apply. The job was "math related" but certainly you didn't need math. Frankly I had been doing the job already with google as my guide for excel formulas. But then before the first interview they gave me a math test. This test involved complicated algebra but had zero to do with the job. Also I had to take it WHILE DOING MY JOB. So I was interrupted constantly.

But after question 4, I just stopped and said, enough. When I was an entry level candidate that didn't already work there I could see them giving me a test. But it was straight up insulting for them to do that. I didn't get the job.

But employers are in the drivers seat. If you want to make sure they are not in the drivers seat be sure to vote for people that will do things like get rid of HB1 Visas.

[ladytiger]

Someone mentioned temp agencies it's an idea. I have been with them a lot of headache when I dealt with them. I still get offers from recruiters I'm perm at my current job been there for now 8 months.

For me I would was temp agency to get me a perm position tired of seeing nothing but contract work I'm like is there a shortage of full time perm jobs that I'm unaware of?

My narc parents didn't teach me the basic life skills either such a struggle like trying to play catch up with other adults.

Originally Posted by ladytiger

Someone mentioned temp agencies it's an idea. I have been with them a lot of headache when I dealt with them. I still get offers from recruiters I'm perm at my current job been there for now 8 months.

For me I would was temp agency to get me a perm position tired of seeing nothing but contract work I'm like is there a shortage of full time perm jobs that I'm unaware of?

My narc parents didn't teach me the basic life skills either such a struggle like trying to play catch up with other adults.

That's what I'm working on. Well that and finding any minimum wage part time job that I can. The only annoying thing is that in my area, there doesn't seem to be a lot of temp agencies that recruit for entry level jobs or general labor; most of them seem to be recruiting for fields that I have zero experience in. I'll keep looking though

While I wait for people to call me back, I am volunteering to build references and experience. I'm rather optimistic now because the manager at my local library who is in charge of the volunteer positions is really nice so I had a talk with her about my lack of references and told her the truth and she seemed to want to help me.

I'm glad that I only need part time or temp work right now because I don't see myself ever being able to find a full time job because it is cheaper for employers to hire people part time and I have no real advantage over anybody else nor do I see myself holding a full time job due to my MI unless I can find one that is low stress and lets me work alone which seems unlikely in this bad job market and even if that wasn't the case, I have no real desire to work 40-50 hours a week doing some boring mindless tasks when I could be having fun and living my life to it's fullest instead.

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

That's what I'm working on. Well that and finding any minimum wage part time job that I can. The only annoying thing is that in my area, there doesn't seem to be a lot of temp agencies that recruit for entry level jobs or general labor; most of them seem to be recruiting for fields that I have zero experience in. I'll keep looking though

While I wait for people to call me back, I am volunteering to build references and experience. I'm rather optimistic now because the manager at my local library who is in charge of the volunteer positions is really nice so I had a talk with her about my lack of references and told her the truth and she seemed to want to help me.

I'm glad that I only need part time or temp work right now because I don't see myself ever being able to find a full time job because it is cheaper for employers to hire people part time and I have no real advantage over anybody else nor do I see myself holding a full time job due to my MI unless I can find one that is low stress and lets me work alone which seems unlikely in this bad job market and even if that wasn't the case, I have no real desire to work 40-50 hours a week doing some boring mindless tasks when I could be having fun and living my life to it's fullest instead.

Exactly. If recruiters would keep their word I have no problem. You mentioned low stress work I work at a job that's really high stress a call center. I used to work for a community college part time low stress I need a low stress environment.

You are right about the part time jobs suiting employers, they would rather pay two pt workers than one ft so they can avoid tax payments.

The other thing I find (in UK in any case) is they may offer pt contract but then they expect you do more hours when it suits them then they cut back to contract when they want to. Not helpful to you but that's the reality. I find it helpful in my min wage job to keep good boundaries - this stuff used to stress me out but a lot less recently.

Enjoy your volunteering, it's much nicer than paid work in my experience.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

For those of you who are curious, I plan on buying this eBook and studying it just in case I need the knowledge:

Fake Resume - The Machiavellian Guide to Writing Resumes, Cover Letters and Job Hunting

I would be careful about this. I am a hiring manager and I can tell a fake resume when I see one.

Originally Posted by seesaw

I would be careful about this. I am a hiring manager and I can tell a fake resume when I see one.

Perhaps a bad fake resume, but not a good one. So many people make fake resumes and fake things like references, experience, or education these days that you would be astounded, and I personally don't blame them one bit.

It's hard enough for a normal young person these days to get a decent job and support themselves, it's even harder for those of us with a MI to even function in society let alone get a decent job so I say if you can't be strong, be cunning and deceptive. Survive by any means necessary.

If employers would evolve into the 21st century and stop assuming that a stupid piece of paper reveals everything about a person and those of us who are shy or lack confidence or social skills or lack experience would be bad at a job then maybe people wouldn't have to stoop to such lows to survive.

Until these employers change, I won't. If I have to con my way to the top then so be it. Survival is all that matters to me.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Perhaps a bad fake resume, but not a good one. So many people make fake resumes and fake things like references, experience, or education these days that you would be astounded, and I personally don't blame them one bit.

It's hard enough for a normal young person these days to get a decent job and support themselves, it's even harder for those of us with a MI to even function in society let alone get a decent job so I say if you can't be strong, be cunning and deceptive. Survive by any means necessary.

If employers would evolve into the 21st century and stop assuming that a stupid piece of paper reveals everything about a person and those of us who are shy or lack confidence or social skills or lack experience would be bad at a job then maybe people wouldn't have to stoop to such lows to survive.

Until these employers change, I won't. If I have to con my way to the top then so be it. Survival is all that matters to me.

No, I can tell a good faked resume too. The thing is, they set off red flags. I help others write their resumes, and there are ways to make it sound good without outright lying, it's all about the words that you use. But outright lying about working somewhere you didn't or having a job that you didn't, it will get found out.

Definitely, I will say there are ways to be creative and wordsmith a resume to make it sound really good (I do this regularly for friends) but it's not an outright lie, it's just a matter of semantics. But if you push it too far, it will raise red flags.

Also, if an employer hires you then finds out you lied on your resume/application, they can then fire you with cause.

Seesaw