[Wunderland]

What's the longest time you've been off work due to mental illness?

My longest has been three years.

Currently, I'm off work again. I took a stress leave, and succumbed to major depression, fatigue, and anxiety not long after. Personally, I think this recent episode has hit me quite hard. I'm not sure I'll be able to return to work any time soon.

I just want to curl up in a ball and close my eyes, go to sleep, make the anxiety go away.

I can't be at work right now. I'm a bloody mess. I'm waiting for Long Term Disability payments to kick in, and if I don't have to work for the rest of my life, I'd be darn well fine with it. I just can't handle being around people right now, the stress of a teaching job, and coping with its demands.

I feel ashamed that I want to leave this career behind, but it's what I'm feeling right now. I can't handle any more.

Thanks for reading.

[Hobbit House]

I'm currently on 10 months and counting. This just sucks!

[Unrigged64072835]

I've been out of work since June 2012, so five years, more or less. Finally started feeling stable last fall. I can't go back to my old job (it's been filled and no other positions available, plus I would have to get a security clearance). I don't have skills for a good job, and I've got physical issues that prevent me from most entry-level jobs. So, I'm just biding my time.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Four years. I have a job interview in the morning!

[ray of sunshine]

I haven't worked full time in 15 yrs. Now I'm thinking of looking for a job filing or something that I can do alone.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Wunderland

How long have you been off work due to depression/anxiety? (thread title)

What's the longest time you've been off work due to mental illness? (op)

As I perceive things, those can be two very-different questions. But in any case: Depression and anxiety (both along with and as partly caused by some serious physical problems) began affecting my mental-emotional state quite negatively at about age 60, and I was ultimately found to be disabled and given SSDI in 2010 (same year).

[Wunderland]

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful replies.

I used to think that my career was a huge part of my identity. The first question most people often ask to engage you in small talk is "So....what do you do?" And I linger upon the answer due to my current situation. I'm walking away from a well-paying, but highly stressful career in education. And I don't regret it. For the moment, anyhow.

I suppose I can answer the question by saying, "What do I do? Well, I garden, I am an avid multi-crafts person, I paint, play piano, and occasionally I like to look at the humming birds out my porch window from time to time." I can say this with a huge smile on my face too.

A whole new self-identity is evolving nowadays. It's not so bad. I'm just glad to be rid of the stress in my job. This time of recuperation is a blessing.

[Cat_Lover_58]

I love this last post! That's just what I'm going to say from now on. I work a piddly little stressful retail job. Most days I'd rather be watching the hummingbirds!

I was off for about two and a half years but it was more of an alcohol addiction, retreating from society. I was close to a recluse. I was in hospital altogether for just over a year of that, a long time.

[Teddy Bear]

Year and a half a couple of times

[Wunderland]

Originally Posted by ray of sunshine

I haven't worked full time in 15 yrs. Now I'm thinking of looking for a job filing or something that I can do alone.

I know what you mean. I dislike being around a lot of people, as I'm an introvert. I wish you the best in the job hunt.

Ugh, it's been almost 4 years. I'm ready to go back to work.

[seesaw]

I went on private disability through my employer in July 2014 and then SSDI was approved in December 2014, and I went back to work in February 2016. So it was about 18 months off. When employers asked about the work gap, I was honest and said that I became ill and had to take time off to seek medical treatment. And I leave it at that, no details.

I was only 34 when I went on disability and at 35 I felt like if I stayed on any longer, I wouldn't be able to work again ever. Going back to work was REALLY hard, but now I'm back in the groove, and even though I got sucked into a terrible employer, I enjoy the work itself and I am proud of myself that I feel I am handling the work environment well for what it is.

Seesaw

[eyesclosed]

2 yrs with no plans of returning.

[sassysue]

I'm going on 7 months. I applied for disability but was denied. I am looking for a job that is low stress, not fast paced and no multitasking. Any suggestions?

[Wunderland]

Originally Posted by eyesclosed

2 yrs with no plans of returning.

I understand. This is my third time being off work due to mental illness, and each time has been more difficult. It was hard to accept that I might not be able to return to work this time around.

Right now, I am working on building my self-esteem and confidence through other interests and hobbies, like my craft projects, my gardening, and other things I find fascinating. It's only been 3 months since my last day on the job. Building a new schedule in my life will take plenty more time.

Overall, I feel happier not working and immense relief.

[Wunderland]

Originally Posted by sassysue

I'm going on 7 months. I applied for disability but was denied. I am looking for a job that is low stress, not fast paced and no multitasking. Any suggestions?

I am racking my brains trying to think of a job with the description you wrote. The first thought that came to my mind was, working as a parks employee? Cleaning the park, mowing grass, pulling weeds, etc. It's a focused job, not too much multi-tasking, you're working with nature and less with people. Nature has a way of calming us down, apparently. 20 minutes a day outside does wonders.

A good friend of mine wanted to go into horticulture. She and I have similar traits, both introverted, enjoy nature, and less multi-tasking in a stressful environment.

[Fresia]

12 years. I went back to work 2.5 years and then off again due to a relapse for 6 mos and am back again at work.

[eyesclosed]

I think work is important even if it's not income. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. I used to do very physical labor. I then went to manufacturing assembly line for 18 yrs. I really hated it repetitive in one spot like a robot and you really don't use your brain. The pay and benefits were too good to leave.

[seesaw]

I'm going to suggest you all check out a website called UpWork.com. It's a freelancing site where you can bid on jobs, like writing jobs or creative design jobs, etc...lots of different opportunities there. I'm currently getting my whole profile set up so I can make some extra money from it.

Seesaw

I just wanted to be left alone. I was burnt out and exhausted.

[eskielover]

Since 1994....longer than many here have been alive. Worked long stressful hours in aerospace as a computer design engineer doing mostly military data link firmware....plus some radar work. 15 years in that career & it definitely was my identity.

Contracts started ending & I ended up in a department that felt like a glorified secretary....& then the director wouldn't let me go back to technical when a position opened up. I started hitting burn out around Thanksgiving right after the company moved another 30 minutes away from my already 1 hour drive in So. Calif freeway traffic. I thought I would recover over the 2 week break for Christmas but couldn't go back. Then the Huge Northridge earthquake hit 2 weeks later & collapsed the only road available to use to get to work from where I lived & the whole valley I drove through (San Fernando valley) was like a bombed out war zone from all the earthquake damage. I tried once to go back after that riding with my neighbor who worked at the same company. 6 hour drive each way....I sat crying as I rode with him. I never went back. Applied a few places but nothing available. Anxiety turned into major depression & I didn't realize at the time but my career was also my escape from my bad marriage which made my depression worse having to be home.

I got into showing my American Eskimo dogs, & dressage riding with the first horse I owned....but my depression grew worse & suicide attempts hit as I just really wanted out of the life I felt trapped in financially as divorce was impossible with the house value & no money to live on. Ended up on long term SSDI (permanently). I was just totally messed up, the stress & depression triggered anorexia & continual migrain pain hit. Turned out I had a neck injury from a throw off a horse in my college equitation days in the 1970's & needed neck fusion which never helped the migraine pain.....I was a disaster,

In 2003 my mom was Dx'ed with stage 4 cancer. Ended up going through a horrible trauma dealing with the home care person involving the police. That stress triggered anorexia again & ended up with PTSD & my mom died in 2005. Took me 2 years to be able to go back in her house but sold it & used my inheritance to buy myself a farm 2100 miles away which got me out of the bad marriage & I was able to start on my road to healing these past 10 years. Involved in my community, volunteering at the Ky Horse Park. Have worked caring for 3 abused stallions while the court case was going on. I still have 3 of my eskie dogs left & enjoy caring for the wildlife that wanders into my life from my woods....I have a mommy raccoon & her 5 babies that came to me needing food. Love the relaxing life on my farm & the wonderful community I landed in not knowing what it would be like when I bought my little farm. Trying to get it fenced so I can get my horse here from Calif. Animals are truly a huge part of my life.

My healing started to really happen around 2011....but stressful things still set me off though better at handling life now but at 64, it's no time to go back to work. Keeping ahead of the work my farm requires is about all I am capable of....no interest in working SSDI just automatically changes to social security at the same amount....I have no desire to work at this point in my life.

[Wila]

My first time I was fully disabled for 10 months and part time for another 1,5 years. My second time I didn't listen to anyone and went back after only 6 weeks this time I was fully disabled for 12 weeks and part time so far is 6 months (and at least three more months)

[Proud123]

This is my 3rd round of unemployment. It's been over a year and half since I last had a job, and that job was for a friend of the family and was miserably unfulfilling. I've been denied Disability Benefits and I get even more depressed watching my savings disappear to pay for medical insurance and my meds plus normal bills. I want to go back to work, but I can't find the confidence due to my mental issues. I am having a tough time with this downward spiral, so I feel your pain!

[Wunderland]

I am really inspired by how you fulfill your life despite being off work. I can imagine that taking care of animals and volunteering is therapeutic and healing for you!