The title of my thread says it all. I NEVER expected my life to turn out this way; where I have to work 2 jobs to make ends meet. I just started the 2nd job, and my primary job is 32 to 35 hours a week and my 2nd job is 28 hours a week. I am exhausted and angry that I'm in this situation. If I were young and in my 20s, the viewpoint is, it's totally normal. But if you're middle-aged? Yeah, not so easy physically-speaking (physical exhaustion from being on one's feet for 13 hours a day, several days a week). And mentally-speaking, it's no fun (I worry that I will run into people I know, at my 2nd job in a retail environment, which will be very embarrassing and make me feel like a total loser).

There is a negative stigma society attaches to people who work multiple jobs. As if those people are under-educated, or uneducated. Obviously, I need this second job so that I can set savings aside to avoid a repeat of what happened to me this summer (due to the fact that temp agencies are UNRELIABLE as far as job placement). I will never let what happened to me this summer, ever happen again. That said, working more than 50 hours a week is something I am forced to do now, against my will, b/c I can't catch a break as far as the types of jobs I apply to and want. No interviews. Nada.

I have revised my resume for every job I apply for, and reached out to acquaintances for job networking, and even to my college alumni association for job networking. But none of that has yielded me a full-time, well-paying career job.

I am at my wit's end, as far as my morale. What am I missing here? I don't know what else I can do to get a better paying job. Any suggestions? Can anyone relate?

[seesaw]

Cielpur, I can definitely relate. I'm a little jealous that you could at least find work at a retail place. I can't even get an interview in a retail store because it's been 14 years since my last retail job. I couldn't even get an interview at Walmart!

I am lucky that I've been able to freelance successfully to supplement SSDI, and that I was eligible to go back on SSDI too.

Please know that what happened to you this summer was NOT your fault. And I think what you are doing is respectable. You are doing whatever you have to (legally) to pay your bills. I know lots of people who thought retail or part-time was beneath them so they leached off of friends and family while doing drugs and using others.

Just realistically thinking, people out of work are usually out of work for at least six months before finding a new job, so you're still kind of in that zone...nothing is available right now, but keep looking and keep your interview skills fresh because something will come along.

It's hard to be in your 40s, having financial commitments, and then having no income. You are doing what's respectable - WORKING. If friends and family judge you, **** them. They should know better.

In the long-run, this is a short period of your life where you have experienced joblessness and learned how to be even tougher than you thought you could be. It may be a while longer but something will come along.

Just remember, there is nothing shameful about having a job, any job.

And you know what, you have every right to be angry you're in this situation. It's okay to have feelings about it and be angry about the hand that's dealt you. But put that anger to good use (as you are obviously doing) and dig in to get past this year from hell. Maybe there's opportunity in one of these jobs for you to advance to management, since you have a college education? Ask about opportunities for advancement. Maybe working towards moving up with help you refocus that negative energy.

I have a good friend from high school who has focused her career on retail management. She worked her way up the ranks, now manages a whole mall's operations and does very well for herself. There is nothing shameful about retail. I mean, everyone shops, right?

Maybe I missed this part of the story previously, but why aren't you working at a school? Aren't teachers needed like everywhere right now? I know my school district is always looking, but I don't know how it is where you are. What region are you in? One idea I had for you was looking at after-school activity providers, usually nonprofits, as they are often looking for site coordinators. It's often part-time work but at least you would be adding educational employment to your resume during this gap time.

You will come through this. Keep pushing. I know you can do it.

Seesaw

[bpforever1]

I work at several jobs myself. I am happy and really don't care what others think about me. I am grateful that I have work. I am 50 years old and don't expect to get a full-time job now. I am concentrating on becoming an interpreter and translator now. I don't think I will find a full-time job in these fields either. So, I am satisfied with the work I can obtain. I apologize but don't have any suggestions except to do your best with what you have. We all do what we have to do to survive. I understand your situation and empathize.

[rechu]

I can empathize. I work my regular 40-hour (sometimes more) a week job and on top of that I work doing translations for a friend's company. When long documents come in, I definitely work more than 50 hours a week. At least I am not on my feet and can do it from home, but my back and eyes do bother me from being at the computer so much. Plus, at my day-job my company doesn't give time for personal days. If you need to run an errand during work hours, you can, but you have to make the time up. If I have to do that, plus work on a translation, I can end up at the computer for 12-13 hours in a day.

Like you, I was unemployed, in my case for about 6 months last year. So, I really feel like I can't say no to an opportunity to make some more money when it is available to me. Everything from the translations goes into either my emergency savings, mutual funds or a retirement fund.

Temp work, working several jobs and all seems to be the new normal these days, unfortunately, Don't be too hard on yourself. I think about my parents and how different things were. They could afford to buy a house in a nice area when still in their 20s, have three kids and pay for college for them, etc. They have pensions, and if they wanted to change jobs, they always were able to line something else up. They never were laid off. I don't see any way I could afford even one kid, so I am lucky I don't have a desire to have one. Everyone I know here with kids ends up with a lot of debt. I was laid off twice before I was 40. In the second case I got no severance because I was considered an independent contractor.

It sounds like you are doing the right things to find a better job situation. I would say keep at it and hopefully something will come through. Fingers crossed for you!

[divine1966]

You’d be surprised how many people work second or even third job.

We had major pay cut so at least half of my colleagues work second job. It’s exhausting but it’s what it is. I am 51 and work 60 hours a week, I don’t think I am a loser. I have professional job
And graduate degree but have lots of debt. It’s no one business why I work second job. My husband can’t have second job whth his schedule but he works night shift overtime. Not much better. He has no debt but pays very hefty alimony to his ex who refuses to work. And he has a disability. But not ON disability. He works hard

But I’d rather work two jobs and be tired than sit on my butt relying on someone else pay my bills.

[ladytiger]

I work full time 40 plus can't fit a 2nd job. I've been with the job for a little over a year now making $16/hour. It's a very stressful job in a call center **** went downhill so fast.

I get temp agencies all the time offering me nothing really. I'm in a new role at work and I'm not sure what 2 do. I did work 2 part time jobs before this job.

I put out there in the world what I want but I'm just not getting what I'm seeking. I'm still waiting for a great opportunity with great pay and decent hours I'll negotiate if need be which I tried the recruiter didn't like my price.

[FallDuskTrain]

I can relate. I am 40 and I have been working two jobs since October 2016 -totaling to about 70 hours/week- and I have to continue to do so for another year or so. I have not taken more than a three day vacation since I was 18. I am very exhausted.
I very much agree with you. One must work hard in her/his 20s into early 30s.... but now I am burned out and I want to give up but I cannot.
I hope your situation will be short lived and you will soon find a full-time job that will provide a decent pay and a stress free living.

Originally Posted by seesaw

Cielpur, I can definitely relate. I'm a little jealous that you could at least find work at a retail place. I can't even get an interview in a retail store because it's been 14 years since my last retail job. I couldn't even get an interview at Walmart!

I am lucky that I've been able to freelance successfully to supplement SSDI, and that I was eligible to go back on SSDI too. Please know that what happened to you this summer was NOT your fault. And I think what you are doing is respectable. You are doing whatever you have to (legally) to pay your bills. I know lots of people who thought retail or part-time was beneath them so they leached off of friends and family while doing drugs and using others.

Just realistically thinking, people out of work are usually out of work for at least six months before finding a new job, so you're still kind of in that zone...nothing is available right now, but keep looking and keep your interview skills fresh because something will come along. It's hard to be in your 40s, having financial commitments, and then having no income. You are doing what's respectable - WORKING. If friends and family judge you, **** them. They should know better.

In the long-run, this is a short period of your life where you have experienced joblessness and learned how to be even tougher than you thought you could be. It may be a while longer but something will come along.

Just remember, there is nothing shameful about having a job, any job.

And you know what, you have every right to be angry you're in this situation. It's okay to have feelings about it and be angry about the hand that's dealt you. But put that anger to good use (as you are obviously doing) and dig in to get past this year from hell. Maybe there's opportunity in one of these jobs for you to advance to management, since you have a college education? Ask about opportunities for advancement. Maybe working towards moving up with help you refocus that negative energy.

I have a good friend from high school who has focused her career on retail management. She worked her way up the ranks, now manages a whole mall's operations and does very well for herself. There is nothing shameful about retail. I mean, everyone shops, right?

Maybe I missed this part of the story previously, but why aren't you working at a school? Aren't teachers needed like everywhere right now? I know my school district is always looking, but I don't know how it is where you are. What region are you in? One idea I had for you was looking at after-school activity providers, usually nonprofits, as they are often looking for site coordinators. It's often part-time work but at least you would be adding educational employment to your resume during this gap time.

You will come through this. Keep pushing. I know you can do it.
Seesaw

Yeah. This summer's temp job from hell and the outcome was a real disappointment. Yet another example of how men's bad behavior is overlooked and the woman is punished for speaking up about the man's bad behavior. Society will never treat women with respect as long as it remains patriarchal. But that's for another thread. Men do not rule the world, but they sure as hell are successful at marginalizing and abusing the women who are their professional equals.

My cousin's daughter manages a retail store and makes enough to afford a monthly mortgage payment on a house her dad (my cousin) bought for her. And while retail management can be a lucrative career, I've seen the movie "Larry Crowne" with Tom Hanks and NBC's sitcom "Superstore" and I have no desire to move up the ranks of my current 2nd retail job into a management position. The retail environment is toxic to my well-being.

I had a retail job interview for a smaller retail store in my neighborhood but the manager only wanted to pay $9.50 an hour so I had to turn it down. This other retail store I now have a 2nd job at, pays $10.00 an hour, which is an extra $35 a week. How could I turn that extra $35 a week down? Plus, no need for a gym membership as I'll be walking for 5-6 hours 5 days a week in this retail job so that's good, I suppose. But retail is not for me for the rest of my life. Kudos to those "Larry Crownes" who thrive in the retail store entity. But it's not my cup of tea. A bookstore, sure! But retail store selling different wares is not for me, not for the long term.

The YWCA hosts after-school activity camps for urban schools, and I have applied for those positions for the past six years, never to get an interview. Go figure. I have no idea why they ignore my related work experience listed on my resume. And I have done tutoring for tutoring companies during my grad school, but the pay is horrible and not something I could pay rent with; more like, just pay one bill with a month, while tutoring for 20 hours a week. But if I could get the YWCA to hire me, along with another nonprofit education company that would be ideal. Believe me. I applied to many educational companies for jobs, to no avail. I keep trying though.

I could do freelance work here and there, but I need to make an extra $1K a month with freelance and retail work until I can find something that fulfills me work-wise. I hate that this is how 2017 is going for me.

Originally Posted by bpforever1

I work at several jobs myself. I am happy and really don't care what others think about me. I am grateful that I have work. I am 50 years old and don't expect to get a full-time job now. I am concentrating on becoming an interpreter and translator now. I don't think I will find a full-time job in these fields either. So, I am satisfied with the work I can obtain. I apologize but don't have any suggestions except to do your best with what you have. We all do what we have to do to survive. I understand your situation and empathize.

That is great that you are doing translation work, because you are passionate about it. At least you aren't stuck because you have skills that can transfer to a long-term job. You could become a world language teacher online, teaching the languages that you are fluent in, for high schools, or community colleges or even a 4-year college.

I'm not that lucky. It's not that I care about what others think of me, so much as what I think about myself. And, I'm disappointed with the way I didn't carve out a career path for myself whilst in undergrad that would lead me into a fulfilling career job. I zig-zagged here and there, doing this and that, which is not a good path. That Robert Frost poem, "The Road Not Taken" is the most misinterpreted poem in American culture and world culture. It's not about making the right choice and looking back with satisfaction.

It's a poem about traveling multiple paths, then looking back on one's past with deep regret, blaming oneself for his/her current circumstances. The poem isn't a tribute to self-made success. It's Frost's commentary on how we talk ourselves up or down, when we regret decisions that we've made in the past.

While I'm grateful for the fact that I can pay my rent and bills. I'm not happy with the choices I"ve made, that have brought me to my current circumstances. And, trying to change those circumstances has been fraught with professional failure, personal humiliation, financial straits, and loneliness abound. I might as well go live in a cave and be a monk who receives food and clothing from the community.

Originally Posted by divine1966

You’d be surprised how many people work second or even third job.
We had major pay cut so at least half of my colleagues work second job. It’s exhausting but it’s what it is. I am 51 and work 60 hours a week, I don’t think I am a loser. I have professional job and graduate degree but have lots of debt. It’s no one business why I work second job. My husband can’t have second job with his schedule but he works night shift overtime. Not much better. He has no debt but pays very hefty alimony to his ex who refuses to work. And he has a disability. But not ON disability. He works hard. But I’d rather work two jobs and be tired than sit on my butt relying on someone else pay my bills.

I don't even have a mutual or retirement fund. I don't earn enough right now to even set aside money for those kinds of accounts. I'm not that financially stable or financially fortunate. I can't even afford monthly payments towards a long-term healthcare insurance account, which would payout for 3 years worth of costs in my 70s and 80s if I needed to be put in assisted living or a nursing home in the future. I have no husband or children, so I am completely on my own which is very, very difficult! I am trying. I know that 99% of finding a job is through social networking.

So, I will have to reach out to people I haven't spoken to in years, to see if those bridges aren't burnt with them, and see if they can help me find a job like I am trying to with my alumni social network from my undergraduate and graduate colleges. It is just depressing to have to be in this situation. I'm very unhappy. I'm not surprised how many people work a second or third job. My sister works a second job so she can help put their special needs child through school for 4 years before state funds kick in and community programs are free to help their child live and work as an adult in society.

Lots of highly educated people are struggling. Trust me. I know this. I don't think you or my sister or anyone else who works multiple jobs are losers. I am disappointed with myself, however, because of the choices I made that have brought me here to my current circumstances. Change is never easy and it takes a while, too, esp. where job change is concerned.

Aso, I'm not married so I don't have an emotional support system from a spouse to spur me on in difficult times like this. It would be a lot easier if I did have a partner who supported me. But I don't. And I have a lot of student loan debt to repay too. So that limits my future choices too. Once I pay off my car in 2 years, I can't afford to buy another one, because I don't want to have to deal with a car payment when I'm living on social security. That would be ridiculous to do that to myself.

So, I have to constantly think about "how will this decision impact my future, financially?" To have to ask that question constantly, is really emotionally exhausting. People who have stable incomes, who have savings, IRAs, 401Ks, don't need to ask themselves that question because they have some kind of financial parachute to help them in times of financial need. But I don't have that luxury.

Originally Posted by ladytiger

I work full time 40 plus can't fit a 2nd job. I've been with the job for a little over a year now making $16/hour. It's a very stressful job in a call center **** went downhill so fast. I get temp agencies all the time offering me nothing really. I'm in a new role at work and I'm not sure what 2 do. I did work 2 part time jobs before this job.

I put out there in the world what I want but I'm just not getting what I'm seeking. I'm still waiting for a great opportunity with great pay and decent hours I'll negotiate if need be which I tried the recruiter didn't like my price.

Sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I have been trying to "manifest" my ideal, dream job for about ten years. Apparently, the universe has put me on hold, "Please hold while you're are connected to the next available agent..." I'm still holding universe. I'd like you to answer my call already, because I only have so many minutes left on this earth. Jesus! (And since I am an Atheist, even he can't help me.)

Originally Posted by FallDuskTrain

I can relate. I am 40 and I have been working two jobs since October 2016 -totaling to about 70 hours/week- and I have to continue to do so for another year or so. I have not taken more than a three day vacation since I was 18. I am very exhausted. I very much agree with you. One must work hard in her/his 20s into early 30s.... but now I am burned out and I want to give up but I cannot. I hope your situation will be short lived and you will soon find a full-time job that will provide a decent pay and a stress free living.

That sucks FDT. That really sucks. You need to take a vacation. Like, yesterday. i hope you can carve out some time to do that. Don't give up. I'm not giving up, despite feeling frustrated as hell about my situation.

[seesaw]

Hahaha, yes about the Frost poem. It is so highly misinterpreted, as is a lot of his work - like "good fences make good neighbors..."

Seesaw

Originally Posted by seesaw

Hahaha, yes about the Frost poem. It is so highly misinterpreted, as is a lot of his work - like "good fences make good neighbors..."

Seesaw

It's like Frost's entire canon of work is one giant misread collection. If Frost only knew...

Meanwhile, I screwed up the formatting to my multi-quoted responses here. Pfft. Sorry to those I didn't respond to in my long response. I appreciate everyone's responses here and what you contributed. It's helped me feel like I'm not alone in this dilemma. It takes a Psych Central Village to cheer Cielpur up.

I don't know how I came across this song, but it definitely describes how I feel about myself in my situation, working two jobs that I feel don't define my true purpose at all.

Lyrics to the song:

I know all the lines to say
The part I’m expected to play
But in the reflection I am worlds away

As I put my costume on
Eyelashes one by one
Been doing this so long I can tie the knot
Behind my back

And everyone’s waiting
But it’s getting harder to hear what my heart is saying
'Cause everyone’s waiting

Just swallow and breathe, she says
Remember this ain’t for you it’s for them
And all of those painful lessons you’ve had to learn
You gotta use them now or never

'Cause everyone’s waiting
But it’s getting harder to hear
What my heart keeps saying

Turn it off, I wanna turn it all off
When everyone’s waiting
It makes it harder to hear what my heart keeps saying
Turn it off, I wanna turn it all off

But everyone’s waiting
I hear that answers appear when you just stand still
But make it all, how do you make it all stop
When everyone’s waiting?

Songwriters: Daniel Dodd Wilson / Melissa Morrison

[Medusax]

I hear you. I had to work three jobs for almost three years because of a financially ignorant, idiotic husband. I HATED it.

Originally Posted by Medusax

I hear you. I had to work three jobs for almost three years because of a financially ignorant, idiotic husband. I HATED it.

THank you Medusax. I've decided that I'm just going to focus on my goal of working this 2nd job for the next 6 months, to save every penny so that my summer months' expenses, bills, and rent is covered. I should have done this last year, but I assumed that the six temp agencies I joined would find me summer-fall work. Lesson learned = never assume anything.

And, I am sorry to hear that you had to do that because of your husband's actions. Three jobs for three years sounds horrific.

[seesaw]

You know with all the **** I'm going through trying to find full time work, I'm just thankful that I have Ssdi and have enough freelance work to supplement. I don't think I could physically work two jobs right now that pay so low and require lots of hours.

I wish I could be of more help to you Ceil, because I know you are highly educated and have skills and expertise...but without knowing you personally, all I can say is push through and don't give up. This is one year out of your life.

Hopefully 2018 will be better for both of us.

Seesaw

Originally Posted by seesaw

You know with all the **** I'm going through trying to find full time work, I'm just thankful that I have Ssdi and have enough freelance work to supplement. I don't think I could physically work two jobs right now that pay so low and require lots of hours.

I wish I could be of more help to you Ceil, because I know you are highly educated and have skills and expertise...but without knowing you personally, all I can say is push through and don't give up. This is one year out of your life.

Hopefully 2018 will be better for both of us.

Seesaw

I'm trying to work every angle in education regarding jobs that I apply for, with no luck just yet. A gal I work the retail job with works for a nonprofit and told me to apply for a poorly paid job there, because people get promoted there quickly. So, I thanked her and told her I'd read up on her nonprofit organization to see if it may be a good fit. I'm used to taking the wrong jobs to make ends meet, which my professional resume reflects unfortunately with my work history. I just don't want to keep making the wrong decision regarding jobs, all the time.

I could try to get freelance writing jobs, but as a side gig to the 2nd retail job, until I could do it more frequently for more money. Who knows. Maybe I've used up my years that mattered, to find my true purpose, and it's too late for me at this point, to continue that journey. Maybe I should just say ***** it, and do what I'm currently doing for the rest of my years. Pffft. I did find out from my student loan lender, that if I stay on my repayment plan until I'm 61, the rest of my student loans will be dismissed. Um, I hope so because by then it would be $500,000. Like, my social security when I retire would only cover my rent and that's it.

There is a small group of part-timers who are over 60 years of age, at the retail store where I work. I feel terrible for them, because they work at other places like grocery stores, etc. during the day, and then do this retail job at night. I look at them and think, "this is my path..." Morose, I know, but it's how I feel right now. I will be working 2 jobs for the rest of my life as punishment for the stupid mistakes I made in my 20s and 30s with regards to choosing a path for myself, and sticking with it. Whoops.

[rechu]

^^

It sounds like you are doing all the right things!

I did some freelance writing for a site in the US for a bit, but I stopped because they paid peanuts and were really vague as far as explaining what they wanted. They'd send stuff back a lot for editing, but with minimal feedback as far as how to fix things. I soon realized that the amount of work it required wasn't worth what they were paying.

On the other hand, my current job started as freelance too (I now have a contract), for a website in the country where I live. They pay more per write-up than the US site did, the write-ups take less time generally, and there was actual training and constructive feedback, so after 3 months or so it was possible to do okay money-wise.

So, it really depends. Based on my experience, I'd say look into it but definitely be careful. Do some searches to see if there are any comments from people that have freelanced for the company so you can see if they had good experiences, and don't take too much work on at first. Do a few articles so you can determine if they are worth your time (track your time spent) and if they pay in a reasonable amount of time (and if they pay at all!).

[rechu]

This week has been awful. Our boss at my day job increased our production requirement to a point where it's unreasonable. Supposedly it is only for two months, so I have to stick it out. I don't want to be out of work again. I am going to have to work extra to meet it, even though in theory I am not supposed to work overtime. She is unapproachable and stated her opinion that she thinks it is doable, so there is no discussing it with her. And they wonder why there has been quite a bit of turnover in the department lately!

Then, several translations came in. I was up at 5:30 AM to work on those. At least I turned those in a few minutes ago.

Tomorrow is a holiday, so we are going to go away for a few days. I need a change of scenery, I feel so burnt out. But even then, we have to come back early on Sunday so I can do some work.