[Mountaindewed]

My favorite coworkers were not there today, but I did ok. I think the day partially went fast because I wasn’t joking and talking.

[The_little_didgee]

I did WHMIS training today.

[Mountaindewed]

For once I didn’t do or say anything I thought was weird. I haven’t been thinking of work much at all since I got off. It was so uneventful.

[BeaFlower]

Originally Posted by Turtle_Rider

I have decided to take the WHV program for a better employment. I've been thinking about it for 2 years and this is the biggest step I'm going to take.

While I'm eligible to take it, the process is long and there's a chance of failure. But what sadden me the most... is the realization that I will leave everything behind. My lovely pet turtles, friends, family, everything.

It makes me cry after a long time. In fact I'm crying while I'm typing this. And I'll continue crying tonight and probably tomorrow.

I don't know about WHV, I don't think we have it in my country. Why do you have to leave everything behind? If you want to say.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel like my mood swings are kinda noticeable at work. I’m not sure if anyone notices. But Everyone else has their own host of issues which they are much more vocal then I am about mine. So they are at least understanding if they do notice my moods.

I am just completely drained and humiliated.

I am ashamed and without dignity.

[Mountaindewed]

I called in sick yesterday and left work sick today. I feel really guilty about it. I went to the doctors and I have a legit medical issue. I just feel like I should apologize to them on Monday. My manager wasn’t happy with me when I told him I was leaving today.

[Turtle_Rider]

I'm not sure whether this is a bad thing or not.

Today supposed to be a holiday. We are not supposed to come to work because it is a damn holiday. But our management told us to come without overtime payment again. Now, I'm spending my day doing nothing in front of my working desk because I have no task anymore. I feel so bored, but at least I'm doing nothing. There's nothing to do anyway. I can't draw since they told me not to. All I can do is pretending doing my (imaginary) work while I'm surfing on PC and internet.

[naturalemotion5]

First time posting here.

Worked retail, couldn't hack it. Been sitting on my butt for four months with help from different people. Feel like a complete burden. Depression hit like a truck after last job. I was run down all the time, getting the flu, getting sick in the bathroom, having panic attacks, getting talked down to and being way too slow not meeting time limits and just sucking at basically everything.

I'm only now applying for jobs. Hope I land some interviews but I feel like a loser lol

[Mountaindewed]

It’s seriously my fault when we don’t do good at work. Everyone works at a consistent speed but mine can be a bit all over the place. It’s mostly how I’m feeling physically. I don’t let my anxiety or emotions get in the way. Sometimes I act like a narcoleptic though. If I have gotten enough sleep the night before or not. They don’t say anything specifically to me but I know when we are doing poorly it’s because of me.

[88Butterfly88]

I found a remote work task I was good at and it was going well but they told me I worked the maximum amount I am allowed to on the task. Bummer!

[daisydid]

I ended up having 5 interviews, two with districts and 3 different schools, but I officially have a new job for next year. I just pray it's better than where I've been. There aren't really any downsides at the moment. Closer to home, better pay, better benefits...

[Mountaindewed]

My old coworker wants to invite some of us out to a pizza place for dinner. I’m just praying they just decide not to invite me anymore. I don’t give a rats *** what their reason would be. I just can’t figure out a logical excuse for not going. I mean, I can’t say I just don’t like them.

[Mountaindewed]

They legit told me at my yearly review today my speed is not consistent. I still met expectations though in that area so that’s good. Their exact words were “your speed is all over the place.” Yeah I need to talk to my doctor today because this is now really not in my head anymore. I am actually being told my issues are affecting my performance. I’m pretty sure it’s some sleep disorder. Possibly narcolepsy.

[bronzeowl]

First time posting here.

I realized recently after reading an article about being a "diversity hire" that I myself was a "diversity hire". The manager pretty much even told me this in the interview, but it didn't click until I read that article.

Still processing this.

Also learned a coworker hired at the same time as me with the same amount of experience makes $2 more than me... Also still processing that.

Meanwhile, PPD is kicking my butt and work is definitely making it worse at the moment. I am mentally exhausted.

[downandlonely]

I'm glad I'll be going to work tomorrow. Today I just slept all day and now I feel worse.

[Mountaindewed]

I wasn’t there today but I got a text saying a coworker asked the coworker who texted me if she was pregnant because her stomach was so big. The coworker she said it to barely even has a stomach and is a normal weight. The asshole coworker is quite large. So I don’t know wtf this asshole is smoking. Anyways I guess it was a big deal and the coworker went to the managers crying and they got really pissed and the dumb coworker was written up and then left and people think she quit. My coworker has been texting me all morning and afternoon about it because she is really upset about it. I don’t blame her. Those types of comments are the worst.

[Mountaindewed]

Tomorrow will be interesting. Should be a good spectator sport.

[Mountaindewed]

I had to leave work half an hour after getting there due to a med reaction. I may end up having to somewhat tell them about my disability.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m freaking out I’m going to get fired or in some sort of trouble with either a manager or coworker. I’m not sure what to do or say.

off to work I go in a short time. glad it's Friday & the weather is good..it will be busy all weekend which makes it go fast. altho honestly it doesn't matter..if slow I can accomplish much more of my side projects. either way.. getting paid for something I enjoy. always good.

[Mountaindewed]

I snuck a small bag of Doritos and a Coke into my work station. We are not supposed to have food but I kept the chips in my drawer and then the coke hidden on a shelf. They helped tremendously. The day went fast and I had no issues. No one brought up yesterday so I didn’t either. But I did go back on the lower dose of my med last night and I’m off all weekend and I have a road trip tomorrow. I hope to feel better by Monday.

[The_little_didgee]

My anxiety is lessening at work but it still impacts my performance and ability to learn. When verbal instructions are given to me it is as if they go into one ear and out the other. It makes me appear slow which causes me to second guess everything I do, especially when learning how to operate machinery that uses a digital controller.

Part of the problem is the disconnect I feel with pushing buttons. I feel barely in control which then causes me to be overly cautious. This makes me appear as a slow learner. When someone is watching me it is worse. I end up seconding guess myself. A few times I froze and had to walk away.

When I am operating a manually controlled machine I feel in control and can actually feel what it is doing. Learning their operation is easy for me.

I know, I am not stupid, but knowing that doesn't really help me feel better.

[Mountaindewed]

I was having these random thoughts on my way home from a trip today. That coworker does look like she’s putting on weight. Of course it’s still rude to ask someone if their pregnant. But I’m wondering if she actually might be. She’s been really crabby towards me and everyone else. So her hormones may be out of whack. I wonder what everyone in the work place would do if she did announce she was pregnant. My dumb coworker said “I don’t know what I did wrong.” And maybe in her dumb eyes she didn’t do anything wrong because she could legit tell? I don’t know if I’m making any sense. But if it does come out this way work is going to get super awkward for awhile.

[TiredPilgrim]

I don't know what to say. I've erased what I've typed at least three times now.

I am afraid to interact face to face with people, but I work in a library.

I'm not sure how much longer I can keep torturing myself. I'm the only breadwinner, and I barely make enough for us to survive, forget being able to afford things I enjoy.

I also work with someone who is toxic - it's taken me a very long time to realize how toxic this person is. Being forced to interact with this person five days a week only makes my 'phobia' worse. I'm 48, and jobs are not easy to come by in the rural Midwestern United States. I'm on an anti-anxiety, and working on recognizing my anxiety and on keeping things in perspective. Some weeks are definitely better than others.