Hello,
I used to work as a legal secretary but I got sick 2 years ago and I lost my physical strength that I had before. So it is very hard for me now to continue doing this work, which is stressful and demanding.
I decided to work from home through the internet.
I started a blog where I publish inspirational quotes and my photography of my city.
However, I cannot come to terms with the fact that I dont work in an office anymore. I feel some kind of guilt and emptiness. When you work in an office- you are surrounded with people all day, you communcate and you contribute to some kind of collective work. When I work alone, I feel a little bit out of place... I dont even know why. I lack motivation. I lack maybe "recognition" of peers... as I spend most of the days alone.
But mostly, I guess I feel guilty that I dont work in an office anymore and I dont know why.. after all it is my life and my choice! Why should I feel guilty? Before whom?? nobody cares.
So I dont know what to do to make myself feel better.

[healingme4me]

Maybe find a hobby or volunteer opportunity outside the home? The need to socialize is a valid one.

Originally Posted by emma345

Hello,
I used to work as a legal secretary but I got sick 2 years ago and I lost my physical strength that I had before. So it is very hard for me now to continue doing this work, which is stressful and demanding.
I decided to work from home through the internet.
I started a blog where I publish inspirational quotes and my photography of my city.
However, I cannot come to terms with the fact that I dont work in an office anymore. I feel some kind of guilt and emptiness. When you work in an office- you are surrounded with people all day, you communcate and you contribute to some kind of collective work. When I work alone, I feel a little bit out of place... I dont even know why. I lack motivation. I lack maybe "recognition" of peers... as I spend most of the days alone.
But mostly, I guess I feel guilty that I dont work in an office anymore and I dont know why.. after all it is my life and my choice! Why should I feel guilty? Before whom?? nobody cares.
So I dont know what to do to make myself feel better.

Have you tried any volunteer work? Something which connects you with others and you can do at your own pace...not a major commitment which would be too tiring for you. Do you have close friends? Volunteering could be another way to meet new folks.

Prolonged guilt, for no apparent reason, can be a symptom of depression. I'm certainly not trying to diagnose you! Perhaps you aren't depressed but something for you to think about. Our work self can be, for many, a big part of our identity. Your work self just went through a major change. Perhaps you are dealing with some grief for the loss of your old lifestyle...out in the busy office, bonds with colleagues, possibly making more money etc.

Do you ever meditate? You might like to target the guilt that way. You can try a YouTube search for: 'guided meditation to let go of guilt.' So many great options. Choose a style, voice, image that works for you. I find that it really helps me when I feel stuck on a particular thought or feeling. Also takes practice. Talking with a psychologist is another option. To develop coping strategies and comfort while you adjust to this change in your life.

Peace and a bright future to you!

[piggy momma]

Originally Posted by emma345

Hello,
I used to work as a legal secretary but I got sick 2 years ago and I lost my physical strength that I had before. So it is very hard for me now to continue doing this work, which is stressful and demanding.
I decided to work from home through the internet.
I started a blog where I publish inspirational quotes and my photography of my city.
However, I cannot come to terms with the fact that I dont work in an office anymore. I feel some kind of guilt and emptiness. When you work in an office- you are surrounded with people all day, you communcate and you contribute to some kind of collective work. When I work alone, I feel a little bit out of place... I dont even know why. I lack motivation. I lack maybe "recognition" of peers... as I spend most of the days alone.
But mostly, I guess I feel guilty that I dont work in an office anymore and I dont know why.. after all it is my life and my choice! Why should I feel guilty? Before whom?? nobody cares.
So I dont know what to do to make myself feel better.

We have a human, innate need to connect with others. This is evidenced from birth in our study of attachment patterns and Harlow's studies with monkeys in the 1950s and 1960s - the monkey will always go to the figure that can provide comfort and thus, create attachment.

I think it's amazing that you've carved out a niche for yourself in your blogging. This is probably something that is rewarding and it's awesome that you can meet your needs in this manner as well.

I wonder if there is an opportunity to take your blogging one step further? You say you are publishing photographs of your city (Montreal is beautiful, by the way!) - can you connect with other photographers and go out as a group to take photos? Can you create a "women's group" and get together and discuss your quotes, their meaning, applicability, come up with new ones, etc.? Volunteering has been mentioned which is also a great idea. What about a sports team? (I know you said you tire easily; my "sport" is bowling and it's purely for the social element), swimming, aquasize, etc.

Connecting with people is really hard, especially nowadays when we are busy, working, and tuned into our electronics. Find something that interests you, join a group, and organize some outtings. Can you take a course at your local community college? Take up a new hobby? Snowman-building . These are just a few ideas...you can probably think of some others. (I LOVE the Biodome - is there an opportunity to get involved there?)

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry, emma345 I agree with all the others about trying volunteering or some kind of activity that allows you to connect with people. We all need to socialize so I think what you're feeling is pretty normal. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? Perhaps you could start from there and join some clubs or activities based on your interests. Please don't give up. Socializing is hard, but it can be done. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Remember that we're here for you as well if you want to talk. We'll listen to what you have to say. We care about you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm here for you as well. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'm always available if you need to talk. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

Thank you all for you answers!!
Yes I guess getting out and connecting with people is a good idea!! and meditation of course also.
But I still need to get used to the freedom that I have now. Previously, I was chained to my office and to a 9-5 schedule... so it was very robotic. Now I feel freedom and I feel Life... it is beautiful... I actually enjoy life and enjoy my time! I am grateful that I can finally feel Life flowing! But i still have to work on organizing myself and motivating myself! It is really funny how a caged animal like I was.. how such an animal adapts to freedom... actually you have to learn to be free!

Originally Posted by emma345

Thank you all for you answers!!
Yes I guess getting out and connecting with people is a good idea!! and meditation of course also.
But I still need to get used to the freedom that I have now. Previously, I was chained to my office and to a 9-5 schedule... so it was very robotic. Now I feel freedom and I feel Life... it is beautiful... I actually enjoy life and enjoy my time! I am grateful that I can finally feel Life flowing! But i still have to work on organizing myself and motivating myself! It is really funny how a caged animal like I was.. how such an animal adapts to freedom... actually you have to learn to be free!

Very true and very wise, Emma! I wish you the very best on your journey to learn to be free

[healingme4me]

I've seen some great scheduling ideas out there in youtube-land. The one that stood out the most was block scheduling. Work with your own internal time clock, but block out an hour or two and rotate it to avoid monotony. And it keeps you accountable to yourself.

From a more general point of view, can you share how you experience life.. day by day. Maybe because i am lonely and i have no significant affective life, i tend to think that my life is empty. I experience that time goes by without real purpose.. the thing is that i really would like to have a child.. i think it would fulfill my search for purpose... or at least if i had a partner... i would devote some of my time to my couple.. but as i am single.. i experience life as empty and with no purpose. I think having some professional activity is not sufficient to fill fulfillment... even friends and social life doesnt give me that.. i think only a partner and a family life would give me a purpose.