Negative thinking in new job when faced with new challenges

Yes. They are fully aware of that fact. They even sent me roses.

This forum loves a Have Hope

I think and I have experience with loss of close family members that when you are back from bereavement leave, you are expected to do the work normally. If you cannot do it to full capacity , then that’s when you take extended bereavement leave/sick days etc In most jobs there are no such thing as light duty. You either do your job fully or you don’t. Not saying it’s the right thing but just saying that’s how it is.

How much bereavement do they give you? A week? Could you take more time off? For both my mother and my late son in law I had to take two weeks off each because not only i wasn’t up to it, my other family members needed by full time attention.

Some work places are terrible with giving bereavement. When my uncle unexpectedly died, my ONLY uncle, I was given a day. But my husband was told that death of wife’s uncle isn’t qualifying for bereavement days. So he pretty much was indirectly told he can’t go to a funeral. How stupid!!!! He of course went as he called in sick. But how bizarre

My company does not have official bereavement leave because it's too small of a company. They covered me somehow other than my needing to take vacation or sick days. I would feel guilty for taking more time, since they don't even have bereavement days available, although I could really use the additional time off. Of course, there's also the fact that I took a full month's medical leave in March. I don't know how amenable they are to me taking more time off at this stage, even for bereavement.

@willowtigger,

Yeah even though it’s called bereavement days at my work, it comes out of our sick days. So pretty much if you didn’t accumulate sick days, you would have to take bereavement days out of your pocket. It’s crazy. I think people should at least have a paid day or two for bereavement regardless if you accumulated sick days or not. People pretty much have to suck it up and go to work no matter what’s going on. Like they’d be able to work? Too much

I basically took 3 days off already, 4 including the Juneteenth holiday. I feel like any more and they will raise an eyebrow.

I get it. Most of us work and work our whole lives. I remember when my daughter got her first full time job after college (worked part time through college) and said “omg I have to be at work all day, when is this craziness going to end?” I laughed “End? It just began! Maybe it will end in 40 years? And for many people It will literally never end!” In my next life I’ll be independently wealthy hahaha

Exactly!!!!!

I've been given a huge website audit to perform and I've been put in charge of putting together the powerpoint presentation regarding the audit findings, the analysis and the recommendations. These presentations end up being quite lengthy.

This is the exact task that sent me to the hospital with a breakdown due to the stress and also due to hearing voices back in March, causing me to take a medical leave for a full month.

The difference now is that they've put ME in charge of the ENTIRE presentation, when previously the task was split between all of us team members. I have three weeks to complete it as well versus only four days.

Basically, I am freaking out. WHY they put ME in charge of the entire thing, when I haven't done many of these audits, if any, is beyond me. Are they trying to fire me? Set me up for failure? I do have help from a new employee who is more senior than me. So I am not entirely alone with it, but still. I wonder what is going on and why they have given me the whole thing to do, when my father JUST died, when I am under duress, and when this is the first full audit I've had to do.

I feel that I will fail. This is going to be a huge challenge for me, and in no way am I up for facing this challenge right now. I am scared and nervous. This is the LAST thing I needed right now. I was glad to have less responsibility on my plate and less stress so that I can deal with my father's death and my own grief. But now? This places a TON of stress and pressure on me.

Just do your best. That’s all we can really do. I don’t think they are very concerned about not giving people hard tasks after the death of a loved on. I’ve never heard of it. You are back to work so they give you tasks. They might be concerned on personal level but on professional level likely not.

I look at it this way. At some point you have to start doing these things at work: audits and presentations. They might think it’s time to start. Ask someone to look at it at the end. If you make mistakes, you’ll have to correct.

But I am sure you will do a good job. They never told you that your quality is bad. They just said you need more guidance than they think is reasonable. Now they want you to show them that you can do the job with minimal guidance. Just do the best you can. If you put full effort in, it will be just fine. I am sure you’ll do a nice audit and present well.

I think worrying about the result before you even start the task will hinder your performance. Just get it done the best you can

I understand about stress. But it’s part of the game. Not putting other jobs down but the only not stressful jobs are low wages ones. Jobs that require education and pay reasonably well are all stressful. There is no way out of it

Thanks, divine. I DID tell the CEO in my recent meeting (while my dad was still alive) that I WAS READY to take on more responsibility, AND I've mentioned this to my boss several times in the last month or so..... so, it's basically my own fault for telling them I am ready. And I WAS READY, BEFORE my father passed. But now that I am grieving the loss, I don't feel ready AT ALL. I want to just coast through work, with easier tasks. C'est la vie. What can I do, but do the work asked of me and try my best. At least I have 3 weeks to complete this task. Thank goodness. They probably feel that that is ample time so that I don't get too stressed out over it.

And yes, it IS part of the game. I am earning a high salary and with that, comes more stress. I AM thankful for my salary at least. It's helping me to put money into savings, and quite a bit each month.

However, I WILL keep looking for another job. I don't want to stay in this one, and I still want to switch gears and move into client services. I am not satisfied anymore with the kind of work I am doing. And it's just TOO HARD. It's very challenging work, and I'm not up for the challenge these days. Client services/client relations is far more my forte - I am good with clients and I know how to build a strong rapport.

The woman who is new and who is more senior to me is of little help to me on this audit. She is supposedly "supporting" me, but I am doing all the work.

I am freaking out.... I feel I will fail at this task asked of me and that they will fire me because I can't do a good job on the audit. I've never even done a full audit before. Even looking at other audit examples doesn't help that much because each website is unique, with it's own set of unique issues.

I'm going to fail!

Hang in there! One step at a time...

You can do it!

Thanks for your encouragement, @Bill3.

I wish I felt like I can do this.

I suspect that my male boss wants to see me get fired. I feel like he's set me up to fail. He didn't even show me how to do an audit correctly. He didn't teach me and he didn't help me the last time I did one about 70% correctly. He didn't show me what I needed to do differently in order to get it 100% right.

And now I am in charge of an entire audit by myself? It's a set up for failure.

I feel depressed. Each day I have to go to this job I am challenged in ways I don't want to be challenged. And now this audit? Whereby I have no idea what I am doing???? I don't need this challenge right now. I don't want to be challenged. I want to quit this awful job, and I can't.

The only way I could quit and get unemployment is if my mental health condition worsens due to work stress. I would have to tell my doctor that I am getting worse and that it's due to the stress at work. And the reality is, I have to take anti-anxiety medication nearly every day in order to deal with the stress. I shouldn't have to do that and this particular medication is addictive. You're not really supposed to take it every day. I may ask my doctor to increase my anti-depressant medication - I don't know... but I feel myself slipping into a greater depression, and I need help.

I just wrote a note to my treating psychiatrist. I told him my mental health is worsening due to the stress and anxiety that work is causing me. I told him I am having to take my anti-anxiety medication every day to deal with the anxiety work is causing me, can he prescribe something different, can he increase my anti-depressant and what do I do about work?

IF my doctor can in fact provide a note for me, I wonder if I can actually quit my job and get unemployment?

In my state, it says:

"If you quit due to “medically documented” reasons, you may be eligible for unemployment. This may include suffering a condition that is trigger by stress. A medically documented reason refers to visiting your doctor during your time of employment. You may be eligible if your doctor recommended you change your job."

The words "may be eligible" would stop me cold. That is not something I'd bank on in this case, because there is already the review they can whip out if they challenge the unemployment reason, and that shows that prior to you being treated at this time, you were not doing the job as required.

Be very careful with this. At the very least they will challenge the claim and they are probably going to win due to the documentation they already have (review). Then you'll be out of a job and no unemployment.

It says “may”. Typically it means it “will not”.

You won’t qualify for unemployment because it is impossible to prove that the job is causing you to be sick. Honestly if I couldn’t do my job because it’s too hard or stressful, I’d quit and take any job. There are no shortage of jobs. Of course it doesn’t mean you’d have a good job. It would mean it would be whatever job. Then I would look for a job of my choice. I had to do it several times in my life.

Now I think it depends what the doc writes in the documentation. My husband actually had to leave his job due to medically documented reasons (nor mental, but physical issue after surgery). His doctor actually suggested lighter duties. Those weren’t available. Doctor gave him a note that stated that doctor cannot provide authorization for returning to his previous position due to potential danger of reinhury, so he had to leave his job. He didn’t want to but doctor wouldn’t put his signature down saying he could do the job.

But we never thought he’d qualify for unemployment, he found a new job before his medical leave was over. But now I think maybe he’d qualify. The note verbatim stated that he cannot return to his current job position due to danger to his health.

So I wonder if a doctor can write that this job really causes you issues. But he might need specific examples of what it’s in a job duties that causes you issues. Not sure what would he say? He can’t say doing audit. Maybe like speaking in front of people causes you distress?

Thanks, though I don’t think my employer would challenge the unemployment claim. When I brought up a voluntary separation previously, they said they wouldn’t. And the CEO is not an a-hole.

I think I could qualify. I’ve taken the required steps to try to make it work, ie, a leave of absence and reduced responsibilities. Now that they’re giving me more, my mental health has worsened. All I need is a doctors note saying it’s the stress at work that has exacerbated my symptoms.

Good luck. I hope it works out.

Well, I’m not quitting now. I’m just considering my options.

The thing is, I cannot just quit and hope that I could take another job quickly. I want to switch fields, and finding the right job at a salary I can afford will take time. I've seen what is available.

I would have to be more reassured that I can receive unemployment benefits if I do quit. I could call the unemployment office and ask them questions about what is required of me to qualify.

AND, I am making mistakes at work... or, I continue to make stupid mistakes. My head is not in the game because of my father's death and because of my own mental health decline. I am taking anti-anxiety medication every day, that is supposed to be "as needed". My doctor increased my anti-depressant dosage by half and gave me a new anti-anxiety medication as well.

I am not well. I should be on disability, and I can't be.

My doctor said I should let my supervisor know that the added responsibility is causing more stress and exacerbation of my symptoms. I don't know what to do. They're not going to like that, since I asked for more for weeks before my father died.

Okay, stick with me here. Going out on a stress-type reason voluntarily is a maybe for unemployment. Being terminated due to an inability to carry out your tasks to the level of the company's needs WILL be a valid reason for approving an unemployment claim. The downside is the termination process is a blow to your pride. But frankly, you haven't even worked there long enough to put this place on your resume. You will continue to earn your salary during the remaining time (however long that is) at this company.

Don't talk about unemployment or being "unable" to perform your job to anyone else in the company from now on and let the chips fall where they may. Starting today, you do need to apply to multiple places so you can also have the option to exit with a normal notice in case you are hired for a new position.

Above all, do NOT agree to go through 3 and 4 rounds of interviews with presentations and teams of people involved in the interview process. You will no longer be interviewing for that type of high level job. If the process does not involve more than 2 interviews, go for it. More than that, refuse. And try to apply in larger companies this time.