Advice for time off work

I've been totally, totally overwhelmed with work and life for months.

I have a Dr appt tomorrow and am ready to ask for paid time off.

My employer isn't entitled to any information as to why I'm off if it's due to illness. But, I have a very tight knit working relationship with my coworkers.

My employer touts mental health, but not truly.

So...

What is my course of action?

1. Off with a dr note, no explanation.

2. Off with a dr note, and a fabricated physical illness or reason.

3. Off with a doctor nite and be honest.

I'm in line for one of two new jobs with my employer. I don't want to cast a cloud over my potential switch in career, but I absolutely need a break.

RDMercer

You dont have any vacation time? Can you take FMLA?

If your employer isn’t entitled to know why you took a day off then why do you worry about it?

Does your work not provide any PTO days? No days off? No vacations? Does your work place require doctors note? For just a day absence???

Mine requires doctor note if it’s 3 days in a row (except if it’s a bereavement). If it’s less than 3 days in a row no one asks where you’ve been. I have friends at work. We tell each other what we are up to. But we aren’t required to. .

I assume you have been working for many years. How do you normally handle having to take a day off? You've never been on vacation and never got sick.? I find these questions somewhat unusual for someone with years of work experience.

Yes, I get vacation. Due to mental health and feeling totally overwhelmed, I need more than my two weeks this summer.

I have 14 years here, and accrue a sick day per month. Right now I have over 100 unused sick days. I'd like to take 10 days.

Why say anything? Because we are a small tight knit team within my group and I'm up for two possible promotions.

You have to follow your work place policies in requesting additional days like do you have to file FMLA or you just bring a note or who do you talk about it. If it’s not one day, you’d need some type of documentation. At my place it’s FMLA if it’s sequential 10 days.

As about why saying anything, it’s up to you. I shared in a previous post that we tell each other at work if we are friends and many of us are friends. I might not tell everyone why I need days because it’s not everyone’s business. But usually everyone knows because we aren’t a huge facility and are close knit

I think you should do what makes you comfortable. If you are close knit, then ask the closest to you if they think you should share (what is it you are sharing I don’t know-that your extra days off are mental health related?).

We had people taking medical leave due to
mental health. It’s as good of a reason as physical health. There’s no judgement and it doesn’t effect anything. People come back from FMLA and resume their duties. You have to take care of yourself. If your place tends to judge people because of their mental health, then maybe you shouldn’t tell

You’ll probably get a more useful answer if you ask your closest friends at work. Ask them who they think you should share your reason for FMLA. If you are close knit, then why not ask them? We don’t know ins and outs of your work place and can only advise based on how things done at our work places.

Like I said, the employer views mental health as important.... But not really.

"Everyone look after yourself, find ways to manage your mental health, stress is such a big deal, etc." while management complains about people who are off due to actual big life stressors, won't take measures to reduce workload and reduce burnout etc.

Yes, the people I work with daily are my friends. They come to my home, and we rely on each other.

I don't trust management. And I'm scared they will view time off for mental health reasons as a reason to block me from other responsibilities or opportunites to progress out of this role.

If you don’t trust your management, then don’t tell them. Who’d see your FMLA letter? HR? Management? FMLA has to to state the reason so it’s kind of hard to keep it a secret. Doctor has to put actual reason for your leave. It can’t be fabricated

Are you afraid if you tell your friends at work they’ll tell management? There are plenty of things we know about each other but we don’t disclose it to management if we don’t have to

You can ask your doctor to be vague. But I don’t know if it’s possible. I took FMLA few times for taking care of family members, not myself, and it was somewhat specific like what’s it for and there was no way I could hide it from management. They had to see it to give me days

In my experience, it's better not to tell the employer, just say you need some time off for a medical reason. Tell your colleagues that you're taking time off for personal reasons. But this may be difficult if, as you say, your colleagues are friends. I switched to part time at one job for 10 weeks, in order to go to a day treatment program and didn't tell anyone why, and all my colleagues were worried that I had cancer and was getting chemo.


Good luck with it.

I think he’s worried about management, not colleagues. Then he has to make sure doctor’s letter is vague. Mine were always very specific why I needed to be off (somewhat mental health related but not mine, family care leave), but maybe it could be more vague upon request.

This isn't FMLA.

We accrue 1 paid sick day per month, that carry over each year to a maximum of 120 days. I have a ton of unused sick time.

My Dr just said F it, and put me off work for 4 weeks.

I can tell them as much or as little as I like, so I'll figure that out in 4 weeks time I guess.