[Yoshi]

So yesterday, my mom ran into the bathroom while I was taking a shower and told me that my dad was sick.
I hurryed out of the bathroom to see what was wrong-allthough my dad DOES have some health problems, so I didnt really think much of it.
Well when I got to my dads room, he was laying on the floor, trying to talk, shaking HORRIBLLY, and saying that his neck was hurting and he was holding his chest.
We put him on the bed, and told him not to move AT ALL.
Well, My dad has had drug problems in the past, but he got off of them for about atleast 5 years.
He does do some pills, but nothing EXTREAME, until yesterday....
My dad started hugging me and my brothers, thinking he was going to die.
Me and my mom went threw his backpack, and found a needle, with herowin.....
He took a whole needle, and shot it in his neck-though it seems weird since I NEVER heard of people shooting up in there neck.
Well back to the subject, I was SO SCARED, All I could do was cry and yell at him and tell him how much I hate him for this, and how much he's screwing up his family.
I told him I NEVER want to see him again. I could'nt control myself- though I did'nt really mean to flip out.
I love my dad dearlly, and this hurts so much just seeing him like this, he even started crying.
Then after a few minutes...he fell to the floor, making a choking sound, and gasping for air.
I called the ambulance and they took him overnight.
When he got home this morning, he fliped out on me and my mom,and brothers for calling the ambulance.
What could I have done!?!? I thought he was having eather a cesure or a heart attack, maybe even a stroke!
I feel so bad for getting him introble with the cops.
But he needed it!
So now my mom wants to get a divorce from my dad, but scared he will hurt her.
My dad has MANY mood changes,more than normal, and wont get help.
When he flips out, its bad, he brakes stuff, and even hits us.
But he does NOT mean it. he really needs help....
I feel so bad for yelling at my dad.

Was I wrong for doing this?
Calling the Ambulance getting him introble with the cops?
Was I wrong for yelling at him the way I did,even though I didint mean it.

I would appreciate your guys advise, I am so upset its unreal- I cant stop crying

Even though these drugs are hurting and killing him...
There also killing and hurting his family.

All I can think about is questions to ask my dad-

Dad why are you doing this?
Why do you pick drugs over your family?
DONT YOU CARE ABOUT US, WE ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.
Why are you killing yourself, and your family?

All I want to say to him-

I hate you
I never want to see you again
Your the WORST dad in the world
You dont give 2 shits about your FAMILY.
Your drugs are more IMPORTANT to you then YOUR LIFE!

--I'm sorry this post was so long--

[DePressMe]

Rainbowz, wow, you have a lot going on in your life.

Don't be too hard on yourself about yelling at your dad--you were under a lot of stress.

And, you had to call the ambulance because you had no choice--it was a life threatening emergency.

Hitting somebody is abuse. If your father is hitting you then you are being abused. I hope that you realize that you deserve better treatment than that.

It sounds like everybody in your household is struggling right now and I know that can be really nerve-wrecking. Please try to remember to take care of yourself first. You can't help anybody else unless you take care of yourself.

I see you as being a strong person who loves your dad and other family. I hope you can work through all this.

Keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

Remember---yourself first.

Hang in there...

[la doctora]

I don't think you were wrong at all. You saved your fathers life. It was something you had to do. I'm so sorry that you have so much to deal with. Your dad needs help and you may have taken the first step to get that process rolling. He may be in trouble with the police, but at least the next step will hopefully be rehab. He also needs to work on anger management. He definately needs help. Sometimes we have to treat our parents just like we would our own children. Tough love is sometimes the only way. It doesn't matter that he is your dad. He still needs the tough love anyway. I really hope that things start to look up for you soon.

In my view you did the right thing.

[Yoshi]

Thanks for all of your comments.
It means alot to me.
I just hope this inncodent DOES NOT happen again

[possum220]

You really did do the right thing. No question about it.

Your Dad needs some serious help. And he needs to be the one who asks for it. Maybe when things settle your Mum can talk to him about what happened and what has to happen next.

Thinking of you.

Take care of yourself, Rainbowz.

[Yoshi]

Well for the last 2-3 days since this incodent, he claims he did nothing.
And is not doing anything.
The last 3 days he has been coming home high.
Maybe a relapse? and acually sticking to it this time.

[valfor]

((((Rainbowz)))) my heart goes out to you and your family ,addiction is such a terrible thing..sending you prayers and peace

[NuckingFutz]

Hey Rainbows. I get the feeling this wasn't an accident from the way he was with you all to shooting up in the neck. Almost sounds like he was afraid of the cops and was angry he lived. Think he did not want to get help or he would have checked into rehab right away when he saw how much he was hurting his family. Seems like he delt with this in the usual manner...not taking responsibility for his actions and taking his failure out on his family. So let's just focus on you right now. Let's see where you get your positive emotional support from and build on that. It is great you shared with us here. Sounds like your mom is doing the best she can with what she knows. I was wondering if you have ever heard of Nar-Anon? It is a group for people to learn how to deal whth their life better even if their loved one stops using or not. This includes teens and young adults who do not have the support they need. PM me if you want more information on this as well as domestic abuse info. Keep posting.

[Champagne]

Beautiful Child, Rainbows are wonderful visions of hope in the sky.

I am so sorry for the pain and hurt you and your brothers are growing up in. Also for the pain your mum has to go through, with all the responsibility as the main parent and also carer of a very sick self-destructive husband.

You did do the best thing. Yes you love your dad that's why you rang the ambulance.
Yes you are very angry, because why does your dad have to hate himself so much. His actions are selfish, and sadly he cannot see or understand what embracing love is surrounding him by his family.

Your dad's self abuse, is from someone who doesn't believe he deserves to be loved. His self esteem is extremely low....and is dangerous to himself and his family.

He was angry when he came back from hospital, because he had lost his last sense of control... the ability to end or give himself a living life or living death. His family took that level of CONTROL away from him.

Also I believe, he was angry because of the SHAME AND HUMILIATION that others (ambulance, police and hospital staff) now see and know that he can be in an uncontrollable situation. Totally dependent on women. Especially if the attending other people were ALL MEN.

Men's biggest EGO trip is to LOOK LIKE THEY ARE IN CONTROL in front of other ADULT MEN.

Family Separation for your dad to go into rehab, and to address his personal ills, would be a SAFE OPTION for all of you. The mature thinking, from your mum is to consider as normal a growing up life that is possible for you, your brothers and herself.

I am sure, deep down, she doesn't want history repeating itself in any of her children or grandchildren.

Time out for all of you to be emotionally and physically safe is important. Getting community support and counselling for all of you too would be excellent. You all need to heal and be accepted as beautiful loving and lovable people.

Your brothers don't need to grow up thinking and believing that the role model of men and dads are to SELF ABUSE themselves, wife, mother and children....ONLY so that the women rescue them always.

You don't need to grow up believing that your relationship with men or a husband is to forever rescue them either. This habit of survival in your growing up life must stop as soon as possible, so you can all change and make a better life.

If mum is considering the best change for you all, then I pray that COURAGE and STRENGTH in your love with eachother helps you all get better. Including your dad.

Self Pain, Control of self choice or inflictions and self numbing denial (poisonous addictions), is the cycle your dad is in. He needs professional help to break his cycle.

And you all need to be SAFE and live SAFELY.

Keep us posted. We all want to keep supporting you. Group hugs

[Yoshi]

My dad's on a waiting list to go to Rehab.
He said he wants to change, and I know deep down he does.
But he does not have the stregth to be truthful.
All his friends are drugies. And drugs is his life, to get away from it all, financhally, and mentally.
For the last week he's been coming home high.
There's not much we can do.
I dont want to wake up and find my dad dead one day.
Even though he's in the wrong, I dont blame him for doing the drugs, but enough is ENOUGH.
He went way to far, everyone trys something once in a while, weather it be food, treatment, or drugs.
But he's deffinatlly hooked.
People say addictions are all in the head.
Which is a lie.
Once your used to something for SOOO long, it's terrible to give it up, and you get sick.
I just pray that he will come to his sences.
My mom is getting a devorice in a month.
This is way to much stress for my family to be in.
We got enough problems as it is.
But i'm going to miss him dearlly when he's gone.
I'm afraid when we leave, he will feel alone, and commit suicide.
My dad has lots of MOOD CHAGES about LITTLE THINGS.
Please keep my dad in your guy's prayers.
And thanks for the support

[NuckingFutz]

I will keep your dad and you in my prayers. This must be terribly rough on you for just the reasons you mentioned. Kind of being forced into a parental role without any of the authority to make decisons about any of this. Just wanted to let you know I am listening and I am here. sending you safe hugs.

[susan888]

(((Rainbowz)))

Many, many prayers for you and your family. I hope your Daddy gets the help he so desperately needs. I agree with Champagne that he must be feeling a lot of self hate and I can somewhat identify with that. It is just so sad that (in the US anyway) unless you get in trouble with the law..there are so few resources available for treatment. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts.

[Yoshi]

(((You guys)))) Thanks so much for the support.
I am sad about the devorice, But I know it's for the best.
I dont like seeing my family in pain, and hating eachother.
It's just to much ya know?
I think my dad will not see what he is missing out on, till its gone.
The thing that scares me, is this could be for the best, or the worst.
50-50 chance

[NuckingFutz]

No matter the outcome, we will be here for you. I hear how rough this must for you and your family. Agreeing to go to rehab is a step in the right direction, I surely do hope that he goes through with this. Perhaps his attempt was his wake-up call.

[Yoshi]

He should have learned after the overdoes.
But ofcourse, he does'nt =[

[NuckingFutz]

I just think he had a plan in place should survive. Probably had a lot of negative feelings when he saw what he tried to do did not work. This is sometimes used as a handy excuse to go out and get high. But there is hope and rehab for him.

[Yoshi]

I really hope so.
I wish I could meet some people that were in the same situation as me, and ask them how they put up with it..

Rainbowz, may you find peace.

[wottesworthgurl]

Yeah...take care. *Reality can be beaten with enough imagination*

[Champagne]

/RAINBOWZ, I shall pray Courage and strength for you, your mum, brothers and dad to face the changes. I will pray honesty and truth for your dad to really see, learn and understand his disease and how it is HURTING him and his family. I will pray that you and everyone will receive the best support for every circumstance that happens so balance, peace and harmony will come into your lives. Keep shining.

Let us know how you go. I am sure there are others out there, that will find this thread and you and support you.

Take care.

[Yoshi]

Thanks so much Champagne for the support!!

We'll my Father has been off the "H" But he is still doing pills.
I'm just glad he's not on the serious drugs anymore, but he still has a problem, not he has to wein himself off the pills.
I wish that all will go great for him.

Again, thanks for all the support everyone!!