[Psyclox]

I finally realised that I drink to get rid of my problems like now I am having a drink and feeling even worse than what I did before and yet I want more I want to drink so much that I go numb and don't feel the pain, so I guess that make me a bad person then, %#@&#! I can't believe that I am 20 years old and that I have severe depression and a drinking problem on top of it, I never thought that I did cause all the people around me drink as well but lately I have coome to realise that I do and all it does is add to my depression and yet all i can think of is how do I get more luckily I only have one drink now but would like more and I have no more and all the bottle stores are closed now so good for me then I guess, problem is this weekend I know I will get really drunk or take drugs I am trying not to but it just seems like it is not meant to be, my life has hit a really bad patch right now and I only now of two things that will make it better.

can you find a support group to go to? you're not a bad person, just because you drink. try to get help.......pat

[BamaSurvivor]

I agree with fayerody. You're NOT a bad person because you drink alcohol. If that were the case, most of us would be bad people and we're all really not. You have a problem with alcohol (and it seems like drugs are a problem too). That doesn't make you bad, it makes you human. We all have problems, yours is alcohol and drugs. I'd suggest what fayerody suggested, try finding a support group. Stay away from those "friends" who bring booze around and drugs around. Maybe even get into rehab, it may do you some good. Find SOMETHING positive to take place of the alcohol and drugs or it won't work. You can't lose something you use as a coping mechanism and not having something equally as good to replace it.

I wish you the best.

[shadowalker164]

I read and reread your post, and at first I wasn’t going to reply. I don’t have what most people would call good news for you.

When you said, “I only know of two things that will make it better.” I assume you are talking about liquor and dope. I believe you when you talk about just going numb. Near the end of my drinking career, I drank for oblivion. I understand your position very well.

The only good news I have for you is someday, if you are lucky, the alcohol and drugs won’t work any more. Even as powerful as they are, they will no longer stop the pain. They will not provide you with any relief at all. Your life will have become unbearable, and you will look for the end.

But you are young, and your body is still strong and resilient. You may have years uncounted of misery in front of you before you find yourself at that point of incomprehensible demoralization at depth that is needed.

When the pain of active using and drinking becomes greater than your fear of a spiritual solution, then and only then will you have the needed motivation to change everything.

That’s the only good news I know.

Richard

[BamaSurvivor]

I think it's possible for him to hit rock bottom at an early age, and I hope he does. The ol' saying goes, "You never hit rock bottom unless you're ready for change. if not, just keep digging a little deeper." If you are READY and WILLING to change, Psyclox, then you can. But only if you admit you are powerless over the booze and drugs and turn your addiction over to your Higher Power, whatever that higher power may be for you. I hit my personal rock bottom 9 months ago, shortly after I turned 18. I tried before I turned 18 to get clean and I guess that rock bottom wasn't enough, had to dig a little deeper. Then it hit me when I was seriously dieing. Hope it doesn't get to that point for you. I hope you can get the help you need and so deserve before it gets to the point of you almost dieing.

Best of wishes to you. May you find peace and comfort in a power greater than yourself that doesn't destroy your life.

[Raynaadi]

I'm 26 and I can't honestly say that the beer quit working. I still enjoyed it. But something snapped and I had to quit. It definetly wasn't as great as it used to be, but I still liked it, A LOT. I was just lucky enough to get slapped in the head early and get some help. I wish you the best of luck. You CAN do it, if you really want it.

~Rayna