I think its me..

Is it me, or does everything just get harder at the month mark? Seriously, I dont know how many times I've slipped at the month mark. Why at that point? Today I have 36 days and I want nothing more than to stay with my sobriety, it just seemed so much easier in the first month than going into the second..damn

Maybe try not looking at it as a month. Try looking at just one more day. I found out myself that a year was a big troubles for me. It happened a couple of years. Now I just look at today as one day on being clean and sober. Maybe that's why they say, One Day at a Time.
Wishing you the best and hope you can keep up the
good work you are doing.

Allan

Agree with Allan... Try not to keep up with months and such, just go with one day at a time. It helps.

if i start looking at the big picture, in anything, i get overwhelmed and problems start cropping up. one little bit at a time, in life, works for me. xoxox pat

I hear ya. I agree with the other suggestions of just taking it for today. And remember the 1st day and know you don't want to go it again. For my, 90 days was scary because my friend went back out and then died not long after he got his 90 days. A lot of people go back out after milestones. I think this might be your fear and self-doubt talking. When you start thinking you can't do it, that it's too much, just tell that little voice "thanks for sharing!" and jump into something else. Tv, books, magazines, talking to a friend. You can do it. This too shall pass.

~Rayna

Good point, Rayna... Also, I think some people go out and drink/use after 90 days or one of the milestones because they feel they've beaten their addiction and can go out and successfully use/drink again. This is not true. The moment you feel you can go out and drink/use successfully, call your sponser or SOMEONE who has some clean time and let them talk you through it.

Some say, "Well, I have the will power to stop drinking/using all the time, so I can do it sometimes." WRONG... Will power has no place in recovery. Try taking a box of laxatives and see if you can will power your way from not using the bathroom. You can't... It's the same with recovery, you can't ever successfully use/drink as a recovering addict. How our mind works is, One is too many and a thousand is never enough. The more we use/drink, the more we have to use/drink to get that "Feeling" we desire while using/drinking.

Wish you the best!

thanks allan, fayerody, rayna, and bama.

today has been, so far, one of the greatest days. taking it at my pace and getting things done. i'm so proud of myself..

could be the humungo sized cup of coffee this morning, but who cares. i'm feeling good now and likin it.

but yeah, taking it one day at a time now. i can deal with thinking every day is day one.

i definitely dont think i have this beaten. but i do like your comparison to laxitive..hehehe, i'll have to write that down and have a laugh when ever i'm feeling the need to..

thanks!!

Another one I like to remember myself is it is like being constipated, this too shall pass. It reminds me that no matter how long the thinking of wanting to go back to my old ways stays with me, it will pass and I will get to the other side if I just do the things I know I need to do in order to get through this moment. I have heard in treatment that the thoughts of useing only last a very short time. it is our minds that keep it going and our thinking that keeps it alive wanting and trying to pull us back there again.

Allan

Congrats on having a great day, Storm. Very happy for you! Just keep doing what you're doing and stay positive. (((((Storm)))))

Yay to the great day! Great days will come more and more often as you move forward. Excellent job! I'm so proud of you!

~Rayna