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#1
Jan 08, 2011, 06:47 PM
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I got a muscle relaxer from a friend and I love it. It scares me how much I love it. I want more and I want to ask for more, but I know I shouldn't. I feel so great! I feel so happy and numb. I just got over recovering from a surgery and just got off my own pain pills which was hard enough.
How do you do it? How do you keep from taking more and more?
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#2
Jan 08, 2011, 07:23 PM
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not sure if you posted in this forum because you are a recovering addict/or alcoholic or are neither. for those of us who have one or both conditions, "one is too many and a thousand is not enough." another saying, "if we drink or use to gain a feeling or get rid of a feeling we probably have a problem." you mentioned the words "more!", "feels great!", "so happy and numb".
there are those of us that switch one addiction for another denying to ourselves that the "new" use isn't the same as the "old" use. does any of this describe you? can you perhaps identify with anything i've responded? idk. how do i stay away from a drug or drink? total abstinence and AA. has worked for me for many years. had to pay a bitter price to gain my freedom from addiction. never want to go back there again.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#3
Jan 08, 2011, 07:44 PM
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I posted because I was an abuser for years a long time ago and then I stopped. Now....I feel like I could easily get right back into the habit. I can identify that I do use to gain feelings and get rid of feelings. It's not right, is it?
Abstinence must be so hard. Congrats for you!!! I'm not even sure why I posted here. I guess I am just so confused right now.
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#4
Jan 08, 2011, 11:43 PM
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Quote:
Maybe you allready know what the answers are, you yourself said you were an abuser. I do not intend to be hard at you, but I think you might be confused b/c you know this is not right, using substance (meds, alc.) to gain or get rid of a feeling. The fact that you can relate is a major warning. But only you can answer the question wether you are moving to a relapse. Abstinence is hard to begin with, but it has been giving me so much! Maybe you felt more depressed after the meds had done their work? It's a bit like alcohol, often used as a kind of selfmedication. I am sober for 6 months now, after about 10 yrs of alcohol, and I;m Dutch, which makes it a bit harder to express my feelings. But I think you were right to come here and ask for some input. And my advice would be: stay away from the substances, pills, alcohol. Hang in there! |
 madisgram, onlymedid
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#5
Jan 09, 2011, 08:54 AM
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Quote:
hope you can resolve this and choose to not go there. we're here for you  . please keep us posted.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#6
Jan 09, 2011, 01:53 PM
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I think my depression is getting the better of me right now. I go to my doc tomorrow and I am going to talk to him. He is going to be mad that I did what I did, but I have to be honest with him if I want his help. I didn't want to be a bit hung over this morning, but I am. I feel like I need to start over today......it's another day, right? I get a do-over?
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#7
Jan 09, 2011, 02:04 PM
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Quote:
starting your day over is good too. i found beating myself up about relapsing only made me want to drink/use more to forget. instead we can learn by these things and change for the better! and u're correct, using or drinking causes depression once the drug leaves our body. so begin a new day and focus on doing things positive for you.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
| onlymedid
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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