One and Done

Hi, my name is Epimetheus and I have a bit of a problem...

It started about a year ago. If I have just one drink, I have to have more in order to get drunk. If I don't, I feel weird and consider the occasion a failure. The problem is that I have to have a drink every couple of days. I have a problem with blacking out as well. Does anybody else have this problem and does anybody have any advice? I could really use some because it is a struggle from day to day. I am on my pathway to stopping, but a few words of encouragement would definitely help!!! Thanks.

Epimetheus

Hi ~ I'm a recovering alcoholic ~ I started out drinking only on weekends - I would get drunk and black out. Then I started drinking every few days -- then it progressed to every single day. I drank like that for over 20 years.

I can't say you're an alcoholic ~ it doesn't matter how much you drink or how often you drink -- it's what the booze does to you. Even if you only drank on weekends, but the booze made you black out and you did crazy things - you could be an alcoholic. Only YOU can decide if you're an alcoholic -- but it sure sounds like you have a problem.

You need to get some help before you cross that invisible line between social drinkers and alcoholism - unless you already have. The only way I could stop was by going to AA. They have the best success rates for recovery. They saved my life because if I had kept drinking like I was, I would be dead now. If I make it to July of this year, I'll have 18 years sobriety - I pray to God I make it. I just take it a day at a time cause that's all any of us have. I'm as close to a drunk as you are -- it only takes one drink to get drunk.

I hope you'll try some AA meetings ~ you can take what you like and leave the rest. I'm sure you'll hear some things that you can relate to. Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee

you asked some valid questions. i'm in recovery also and have been educated on alcoholism. according to experts ppl who are black out drinkers are heading for alcoholism if not already there. i can't say what you are but your comment gives me pause about your drinking. there's another type of alcoholic called binge drinkers. they can go for weeks at a time without a drink but when they do they consume large quantities of alcohol. when i drank i couldn't stop-another sign. i even drank when i didn't want to drink anymore/full. in the end i drank 24/7. i had no control over it. it controlled me. one drink for me is too many and a thousand are not enough.
i too go to AA. it has changed my life 100% if not more. i met ppl there who were like me...they had a problem with alcohol. most ppl who are successful in stopping drinking go to AA lee said. you can "take" what you need and let go of the rest. i hope you'll give it a go. so glad you wish to stop the drinking. you will never regret it. i know you have a problem cause you posted. "admitting" that is the first step towards recovery. please keep us posted. we care.

Mirrors helped me. Go to the bathroom and look in the mirror and have a conversation with yourself after 3-4 drinks (instead of drinking until you black out). See if you aren't sorry/disgusted and ready to stop for the evening.

Epimetheus, I am a recovery alcoholic too. Being sober is so much better than being drunk all the time. I hope you can find your way to sobriety.

I agree with Lee and Madisgram. I am also a recovering alcoholic, for six months (and a week ) now. AA helped me, gave me insight. A very important first step is feeling or admitting that I had no longer control over alcohol. It controlled me.
It does'nt really matter how much you drink, or how often. Most important is what alcohol does with your mind, your mood, or why you want to drink.
I hope you make up your mind and go for recovery. It's is amazing, how good life feels being sober and in control.
Best wishes to you.

A question to all... Is AA really that helpful? and how did you get involved? I want to get involved, but I'm sort of ashamed because people think I'm better than what I really am...

I'm in recovery too from alcoholism. I have just over 6 months sober. I go to AA meetings and find them incredibly helpfull - they're about the only thing that work for me in helping me stay sober.

You don't need to be embarrassed about going to AA. First off, everyone takes annonymity really seriously so anyone who sees you at a meeting won't tell anyone else about it. Plus you only use first names and last initial. It seems kind of weird at first, but now I have a bunch of friends whose last names I don't know.

Getting involved is easy too. Just look up AA in your phone book or google AA in your area. They'll probably have a website and a number that you can call to find out about meetings. I'd start with what's called an open speaker meeting. Anyone, not just alcoholics, can attend open meetings, and the format is there are a bunch of standard readings at the beginning, and then a speaker who talks about what it was like when they were drinking, how they came to AA, and what their lives are like now that they're sober. Sometimes the group chairperson will ask if there are any newcomers, it's totally up to you whether or not you introduce yourself.

This is the advice that was given to me about going to my first meeting.
When you get there, ask to be introduced to the group secretary, tell them that you're new and want to stop drinking.

Odds are they'll show you to the literature table that will have lots of different pamphlets about AA and alcoholism. Pamphlets are usually free. They'll probably also offer to give / sell you a Big Book. The Big Book is Alcoholics Annonymous and it's kind of the bible of the program. It completely describes AA and what you need to do in order to recover, plus at the back it has a collection of short stories by people in recovery about how they recovered. I think a Big Book costs around $10 or so. I'd highly reccomend getting one and reading it.

Go to a bunch of different meetings to check them out as each meeting has a slightly different mix of people and feel. Once you've found a meeting where you feel really comfortable you can join that group and it becomes your home group.

As you get to know people in AA, you'll soon get to know people who seem happy and content in their recovery. Ask one of them to be your sponsor. Your sponsor is someone who helps you work the steps, and is someone you can call on if you feel like drinking, or just have another problem that you need to discuss. Some groups offer temporary sponsors to newcomers, until they can find their own. I'd suggest taking advantage of this if it's offered as having a sponsor can be super helpful.

Don't be turned off if you hear God talked about a lot. Some groups emphasize God more than others but really it's a spiritual program not a religious program. You get to come up with your own concept of a "Higher Power" and a lot of people simply start out by using their group as their higher power, since the people in the group are staying sober which is something the alcoholic can't do on their own.

I really hope you'll give AA a try. It's been a lifesaver for me.

--splitimage