[gma45]

I am alright today! One day at a time. I have no money in my pocket but somehow I feel good. I guess I am regaining hope. I don't know how but I am.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by thickntired

I said I was going to quit then I broke down and bought some. I feel like a hypocrite with a major lack of self control.

Hi,

Thank you to all who replied to my post. I just wanted to clarify. I have not had a cigarette in 6 months, but now I'm having a lot of trouble quitting marijuana

[roads]

Okay, got it ... one addiction at a time.
(you go git 'em buggers, SHOOT 'EM DOWN!!!)

[tokiwartooth]

Made it another week without drinking. On the 17th it will be two months. Still hard to do, but with support it's not coming back into my life!

[Henianna2330]

Hi all... This is my first post in here

I've been trying to quit drinking since May with a lot of on and off again progress. The longest I've managed to abstain has been three weeks before thinking I could "handle" a bit, then learning the hard way that I can't. I really hit rock bottom this most recent time, and I think I've finally got it through my thick skull that I just CAN'T DRINK. I'm on fluoxetine and have been for a few years now, but recently (May) had my dosage doubled by my Dr. Not a good mixer with alcohol, let me tell you. It's been a week and a day now since I've had a drop, and am feeling pretty good at this moment. Not drinking, I'm actually allowing my anti-depressants to WORK and keeping myself busy so I don't think about it. My mother (age 60) lives with us and so far, the two "tests" I've had have been because of her. The first time was last Friday, when she asked me to pick her up a case of beer. I wasn't even tempted. Today, she wanted to exit through the liquor department when we went shopping (our town has an ordinance that says that alcohol must be sold in its own part of the store, and all sales have to exit through that door.) She bought her beer and I had to force myself to look straight ahead and at my cart. I wasn't craving it or anything, but didn't want to find out what I would do if I tempted myself.

So far, I've been drinking a LOT of tea, including a lot of "stress relief" teas, and they seem to help. Probably one of my biggest complaints now is that I seem to want to snack constantly, and half the time, on sugar/chocolate. I have two kids and they still have Halloween candy in the house, so it's enabling me for sure. UGH. I really don't want to gain 10 lbs in order to stop drinking! Going to try to get on an exercise routine starting tomorrow.

Sorry if I babble too much... this seems like it's going to be a good outlet for me if everyone can stand my ramblings.

~Heni~

[Henianna2330]

Originally Posted by tokiwartooth

Made it another week without drinking. On the 17th it will be two months. Still hard to do, but with support it's not coming back into my life!

Congratulations! I hope one day I will be saying the same thing.

[roads]

Welcome, Heni, to PsychCentral and the Addictions Forum. You'll find lots of threads started here by folks at different stages of seeking/fighting for sobriety. It's easier for a lot of us to have others to call on when things get tough or confusing--or just don't seem worth it.
I hope you'll keep coming back and keep posting.
Roadie

[notz]

Henianna, Welcome!

[johnf22881]

51 days! Hope everyone else is doing really well!

[roads]

Great to hear from you, johnf!! 51 days ... doing so well, johnf--proud of you, for each & every day. Still pulling for your acceptance into rehab ...
Roadie

[gma45]

Lets all keep up the good work! We are worth it! Doing alright today, just wish I could speak more at meetings. My mind just go's blank. I don't want to tell lies so I just don't speak, anyway that is my new excuse!

[roads]

You could keep it simple--& talk about how difficult it is for you to speak in a meeting. Start there, speak about that for a minute or less, see where that goes the next time.

Just keep coming back!

Roadie

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by Henianna2330

Hi all... This is my first post in here

My mother (age 60) lives with us and so far, the two "tests" I've had have been because of her. The first time was last Friday, when she asked me to pick her up a case of beer. I wasn't even tempted. Today, she wanted to exit through the liquor department when we went shopping (our town has an ordinance that says that alcohol must be sold in its own part of the store, and all sales have to exit through that door.) She bought her beer and I had to force myself to look straight ahead and at my cart. I wasn't craving it or anything, but didn't want to find out what I would do if I tempted myself.

Probably one of my biggest complaints now is that I seem to want to snack constantly, and half the time, on sugar/chocolate. I have two kids and they still have Halloween candy in the house, so it's enabling me for sure. UGH. I really don't want to gain 10 lbs in order to stop drinking! Going to try to get on an exercise routine starting tomorrow.

Sorry if I babble too much... this seems like it's going to be a good outlet for me if everyone can stand my ramblings.

~Heni~

heni welcome to the forum! you'll find lots of support here including suggestions from many here. the challenges when you are trying to stay sober can feel daunting but it's well worth regaining your life. here are some from me:
your mom-
i'd tell her it's difficult for you to be in the area of the store with her when she purchases alcohol. you can exit before she goes to walk thru that area. even if you think you're handling being there it can boomerang/trigger you and about 3 days later you are drinking again. they/AA suggests staying away from people, places and things. your mom's an adult and can go out and purchase her own beer. it's not good for you to do it for her, imho. once again explain why to her. in my 23 yrs. sober i've not been at a bar, walked down the booze aisle, been in a liqour store or purchased booze for anyone. not everyone takes this approach with good sobriety but i choose to avoid it still. alcohol "waits" for all of us if we give it the opportunity.
gaining weight-many of us had craving for sugar products. it's because your body thinks a lot of sugar is needed. it's been trained to think that's your natural state. alcohol is primarily sugar. so it stands to reason your craving. this will pass the longer you stay sober. you're re-training your brain. i don't think anyone has died from sugar intake except diabetics but i've known way too many people who died from drinking.
weight gain can be reversed. it's a better alternative than drinking. for me i didn't eat right when i drank. your body is adjusting.
whether your mother chooses to support your efforts to stay sober it's important for you to stand your ground. your life may depend on that. i would hope she will support you.
so glad you're here and posted about your drinking. have you tried AA? not everyone goes this route but it sure helped me even today.
"take it one day at a time."

[tokiwartooth]

Originally Posted by Henianna2330

Congratulations! I hope one day I will be saying the same thing.

Thanks! I wish I could say it got easier for me quickly, but it didn't, but I'm still hanging in there. It's not as bad as it first was, but I'm still tempted. I had to have the waitress remove the wine list at the last restaurant I went to. I didn't even want to see it. That was my worst weakness aside from vodka. I hope you make it too! It's good to see u on here.

[notz]

tokiwartooth, very smart removing the wine list! Recognizing what your pitfalls can be is part of building a foundation to stay sober.

[Henianna2330]

Having a good day today, despite my thoughts turning to a drink earlier. I chastised myself and turned my thoughts back around. Now I'm just waiting for my tea to be done steeping. *deep breath.* One day at a time.

[tokiwartooth]

Went shopping for groceries last night. I wish I didn't have to pass by the beer and wine aisle, it makes me want some. But I stayed away. 2 months tomorrow!

[roads]

That's great, tokiwartooth. Days start adding up. I'm proud to know you!!

[Henianna2330]

Originally Posted by tokiwartooth

Went shopping for groceries last night. I wish I didn't have to pass by the beer and wine aisle, it makes me want some. But I stayed away. 2 months tomorrow!

That's awesome! Great job!!

[Henianna2330]

Doing well today... I'm not yet quite to two weeks sober, but so far, this attempt has been the least taxing. Maybe it's because this time, I KNOW I can do it! I'm so glad that I found PC... just reading what others are going through and knowing I have a place to speak what I'm thinking without fear of being judged is a tremendous help. My big hurdle will be getting through Thanksgiving without a drink! I can do it... I can do it...

[tokiwartooth]

I was 2 months on the 17th. I'm pleased with that. Other than that, I've been so horribly depressed that I can't even think straight anymore.

[notz]

I know this sounds silly but it has been helpful for me in the past. Sit on the floor, get as low to the floor as you can and look at everything around you. If you can do it upside down, do it! Everything looks different, doesn't it?

Well, heck yeah! Your whole life has been turned upside down. You've kicked your best friend (addiction) out of your life and you're jonesing over that. Plus, adding insult to injury, the "best friend" is in your ear raising hell over your choices!

Stay the course. See your world from the crazy, upside position it's in. See it from a new perspective and know that you CAN do this!!!

Great advice! Well I am on the wagon again, trucking along. Four days sober, nothing compared to that glorious eight months but hey, I gotta start somewhere. So here's looking at you kid! Lightbulb's on the wagon with you and shooting for the stars! At least trying to get stronger and learn from my recent mistakes. Thanks yall hope everybody is doing okay. Yours truly, Lightbulb7

[madisgram]

TRIGGER perhaps...
my housemate (and i sponsor her) lost her brother yesterday to alcoholism. he had complications from his diabeties and hep C. too. both a direct result of his alcoholism and drug use. he drank for all his adult life. he lived on the street or under a bridge. sometimes his family couldn't find or hear from him sometimes for over a year. finally the family asked him to call from time to time just so they would know he was still alive. 4 times this year he was discovered lying on the pavement, at death's door, and was admitted to the hospital. one time he signed out AMA. he weighed very little, was emaciated and one time they thought he would have his feet amputated due to the diabeties. all 4 times this year he was not expected to live but he did. years ago he went to AA but not for any period of time. i felt he had a purpose in his life since he was saved so many times over the years. his disease never gave him that opportunity. he never gave himself the opportunity. when he was found he was DOA. his name was brian.

i'm sharing this with everyone because for those of us sober a while it reminds us if we hadn't surrendered and put our care in our higher power our lives could've been like brian's life. sober we all receive a daily reprieve from our alcoholism.
and for those of us who are new to trying to stay sober or struggling to stay sober this is what awaits all of us if we pick up a drink. not just the newcomers. we never know if it will be the end of our life with the carnage that alcohol "offers" us. it's easy when one is new to say "well i've got a few more turns on the wheel of life. i don't need to take my drinking seriously. one day if it gets bad enough i'll stop drinking."
i remember the last time i tried to live sober. i had lost all hope, lost my personality, my hygiene, and my soul. i was cut off from my spiritual world. i had cut myself off from the real world. i was empty. a shell of a human being. i was a miniscule yellow dot in an infinite black void. worse yet i had lost my will to live. it was only thru grace that i was given that helped me thru and i've never drunk again. i fought for every inch of my early sobriety. i was terrified i'd fail again. i remember the very day i was aware of a conscious contact with my God**. i felt embraced with love. he was with me whole time. i had turned my back on him.
this is a very sad story i'm posting. it's helped me by writing it. i hope it may help you too.
(**..not to offend those of other faiths)

Sorry to hear about this tragedy Madisgram. Thank you for sharing this with us.