[gma45]

Well I don't know. Just heard another NA friend was found deceased. I definitely do not want to use or drink, just am very sad. I really hate this disease! Along with depression some days I just sit and wonder..... why?

[roads]

me too, gma. I'm sorry about your NA friend.
As long as we're thinking, we aren't straying from our paths.
Stay strong. Don't drink or use, I won't drink or smoke ...
a day at a time ...
Roadie

[-Astral-]

Am not coping at the moment at all am about a year maybe less without drink or drugs ( apart from medication for my mental health )

I don't go to AA or NA as i have social anxiety and find it hard to go with a big group of people
Also i haven't self injured for two weeks and my anti psychotic have been reduced by my psych even though i am still hearing voices

I keep thinking about drinking or taking drugs i want to smoke weed as well
its been a while since i have done any and my husband will not let it in the house at all same with drink as well
so there is no way for me to have it because i don't have friends who take drugs or drink in my company and i don't leave the house without my husband

My husband and i have talked about this as well and he feels that am just trying to fall back on old habits and that will be detrimental to myself

[Tamster]

my list of what i quit and what i want is still rather close..
oxys, xanax, fentenyl, vicodin, i could live with out the vicodin and fentenyl now I think but I really want xanax back this is the longest part of the journey so far. I quit in april of 2012 god give me strength.

[roads]

gosh, you ladies are fighting for your lives in The Big War, with only a brief sobriety to give you strength ...

& I'm whining like a wimpy baby,
wanting cigarettes, after 22+ yrs
without ...

I really want it bad,
and I'd better figure out why.

Thanks for giving me perspective,
& bless you--y'all can do this!!
* hugs galore to both of you *

Roadie

[gary290]

Good Morning:

I'm on day 12 abstinent from alcohol. I'm using SMART Recovery for the skills to stay clean and sober. They use Rational Emotive Therapy as their main tool in recovery. I drank to manage symptoms of bipolar d/o (not successfully). The first few days were great. Now I'm back to the ups and downs of rapid cycling. It's certainly difficult to stay sober without proper psychiatric care. I was sober 8 years at one point but was on Lithium and Neurontin at high dosages. After having some heart problems, they won't prescribe them for me anymore. My current med cocktail doesn't do the job. So I guess I have to be determined not to drink despite any unpleasant psychiatric symptoms. I check in daily at SMART and plan to occasionally check in here.

Hey Roadie. Good to see you here. I've been away for a couple months but back now.

[-Astral-]

Hi
am struggling ... was in Tesco getting juice for myself with my husband and the juice is next the the alcohol am sanding there and i can see whiskey out the corner of my eye
really wanted to pick it up but i know my husband would stop me from buying it
my husband don't drink ( he don't like how it makes him feel ) so i cant get drink in the house or at friends because everyone know i dont drink any more

[Tamster]

today i spent too much time trying to come up with a great story to try and convince my very intelligent pdoc about my need for xanax the one thing i know he will never ever let me have again. I'm an addict, I am sick and can't survive of I have my drugs. Thank god someone put a strong person in my way to make it hard for me to use.

[avlady]

Good Luck to all of you. I used to drink as a teenager, and smoke e-ciggs now. I haven't had drink in years and years, i say as i've said before, my sobriety is my natural high or drunk

[-Astral-]

I was wanting to smoke today i haven't for about 2 years maybe less
and i felt like doing it because i wanted to be self destructive because i cant cut at the moment because my husband has my tools locked up
I feel like i need to smoke as some way of hurting my self

Drink feels like a way of hurting me that i don't care what happens to me because of that
I know if i started drinking again i will not stop
Thankfully my husband is here to stop me from doing it

[Tamster]

I almost have that story down for my pdoc so I think he will give me benzos. It's a quality of life story, my back is so painful that nothing releives the pain in the same way xanax does. Then I see my primary doc on tuesday and I am going to use the same story for some vicodin. I figure one of them will cave and give me something. I know it sounds weak and like I am giving into my addiction but my quality of life sucks right now due to this pain.

[-Astral-]

Had a fight with my husband over drinking
we talked for a little while and decided that am better off without it

[gary290]

Day 15 sober for me. Feeling pretty good.

Gary290

[gma45]

Hanging in there for the moment. No drinking or drugs for months now. Doesn't mean I haven't thought about it just haven't acted so that is a good thing. Today I don't think I will ever quit smoking, but never say never right? Funeral to go to tomorrow for a friend from na that went back out. It is true.....jails, institutions, or death.

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by madisgram

i know many people who are trying to get sober, those who relapse, and those of us having a good or rough day. if you're already in recovery please include your thoughts today, the benefits of your sobriety and how you stay sober "one day at a time". we can "carry the message". many of you got sober from asking questions here and taking that first step. hope this thread will benefit everyone.

having especially hard time today for many reasons. the best to all

[gma45]

I am having a hard time with getting motivated, it scares me I don't want to fall back into depression and isolation.

[Reality_Perfection]

Originally Posted by Roadie

Jenna, I'm an alcoholic. I haven't had a drink in 20 yrs, but I do sometimes have strong urges to drink--because I'm still an alcoholic. The thing about addiction (I believe) is that it's a lifetime thing. Not everyone agrees; they think they can be cured, and go on to use moderately. I think if I have even one drink, chances are I'll be back drinking drunk in no time.
As an alcoholic, I'm also easily addicted to pain killers, which are in the same general category of drugs. I have to find other ways to cope with pain, such as acupuncture.
Rather than go through the agony of trying to "control" your addiction to Ritalin (or make your fiancé responsible) could you talk to your mdoc? I don't know that there are alternative treatments, but it's worth checking.
I hope you can face the reality of being an addict, or it's going to be very hard for you. Letting your doctor know what you're going through would be a good step. It's not going away, and coping with it now will make your life lots easier. Get other viewpoints, but get solid medical advice.
Take good care of you.

Thanks for the response I'm glad that you haven't had a drink for 20 years! That's a big thing as I'm sure you know. I hate those stupid urges. I still have them too. Although yesterday I didn't take more than I'm prescribed. I'm very proud of myself because I haven't done that in a while. I'm trying to get through today without taking more than prescribed and am doing really well. Oh yes, I have heard that its a lifetime thing too. I fully believe that. Yes, for me, I'm like today ill only take one more, but its never enough. Then I keep on abusing it. I've never been addicted to pain killers but have heard that they are terrible to come off of after being addicted to them. That's good that acupuncture works for you I might talk to her. I'm scared to though because that would probably mean that I wouldn't get them anymore. Maybe that's the addict in me saying that. I've heard that there are other alternatives and I've tried some, but those didn't work very well. Maybe I didn't try the right ones though. I'll look into it. I'm starting to face the reality of being an addict now. I believe it since I crave and it's always in my head. I've been going to NA and CA meetings and they actually help. I'll continue to go to them too. Thanks for telling me about options and giving me advice. I really appreciate that.

Take care of yourself!

[kare2bear]

Hi all...

I haven't posted in a long while. After 7 years of sobriety.. I relapsed last August 2012... been sober for 9 months now. I really must say that I was so very lucky my relapse didn't turn out the way I'd planned or I might not be here posting this message.

I can't say it's been easy , but I'm mostly back on track going to meetings and such. I try to appreciate and live my life in the 24 hour mode. Otherwise I get overwhelmed, sidetracked and start going astray with my thinking and actions.

It's nice to see some of the same people are still here and posting.

take care and try to do the next right thing

[kare2bear]

Went to an inspiring AA workshop that focused on steps123. Just what i needed and now may even try out a new meeting because of it.

,the focus was on peoples' journies of how they came, came to and came to believe.

Today..i can say that i'm grateful to be sober

Best
ker

[shortandcute]

fellin' a bit burnt out on AA--tired of being treated like a lazy freak just because i have to take meds

[roads]

Surf the various AA groups--not all are such purists. There are several in my county who don't make any todo about pdoc-prescribed meds--unless we're obviously abusing them & coming to meetings drunk.

[Christina86]

Hi folks,

We close threads once they've reached 100 pages, or 1000 posts. Obviously this thread has gone beyond both those, and I'll be closing this thread now. Please feel free to start a new thread on the same topic if you want.

Christina