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#1
Jun 25, 2012, 01:21 PM
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I'm like an athlete past their prime...I'll never be what I used to be. I didn't believe in myself and no one believed in me
It could've been great, but I can't quite handle fading away. I was always told I was no good. I know that AA will change my life and improve things beyond my wildest dreams but I will NEVER get it back. Look at Clapton, he got sober, and he lost ALL of the visceral, primal urgency of his playing from the Cream days. Thank You all |
 Anonymous33145, gma45
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#2
Jun 25, 2012, 01:37 PM
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((((Brontoset)))) I can relate. We may have different Dx's, but I feel the same way.
I try to keep positive when those thoughts come up, but it can be REALLY hard sometimes. Through T, I am building a very solid foundation (one on which I did not have before). I have excused myself from the negative, toxic people in my life that kept (or keep) me down. I am working hard on digging through the past to face things with dignity, courage and grace. I think there is hope. For what, I have no idea. I am a blank slate right now. But I KNOW that all this work is not for nothing. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. |
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#3
Jun 26, 2012, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
and there are more success stories than you speak. blaming sobriety as a loss of hopes is missing the true value and rewards of it. otherwise we'd all return to that life of hell.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#4
Jun 26, 2012, 10:43 AM
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Quote:
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 Brontoset
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#5
Jun 26, 2012, 03:18 PM
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I NEED to die
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#6
Jun 26, 2012, 04:37 PM
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Don't even THINK like that Brontoset!
 You have NO idea what life has in store for you! Some of your wildest dreams can come true. I had always wanted to ski -- all my life, I'd thought about flying down a mountain on skis. Well, after I got sober, my home group took me to a ski lodge, gave me lessons on skiing, and after I completed the lessons (hours & hours ) I "graduated" and got on the ski-lift (which terrified me) and went FLYING down the mountain, just like I'd always dreamed!  If I'd never gotten sober, I would have never achieved my dream. And OTHER dreams have come true too! I can't list them all here. It can be the same for you too -- sure, it takes work and HOPE, but it can be done! You CANNOT give up! There are people who love and care about you. Go to meetings, get to know people, "hang" with the winners! Your life is what you make it! God bless and PLEASE take care. Hugs, Lee |
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#7
Jun 27, 2012, 07:11 AM
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we NEED you here, brontoset.
 just take things a day at a time. a minute at a time. an hour at a time. we'll be always here for you.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#8
Jun 27, 2012, 07:43 AM
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You do not need to die. Trust me most of us have been at that point where we believed we needed to die as well. During my drinking days I attempted to kill myself time & time again when blacked out. But I'm still here because I wasn't meant to be dead. And neither are you. Give soberity some time. Last I saw you were only two weeks sober. It's a scary world when we first start our jounrey in recovery. Too be honest I'm not getting my life back, I'm getting a new one. A happier one. Talk to other alcoholics, if not in person try on PC. Bring the body and the mind will follow. Just take it one day at a time.
__________________
"Religion is for people who are afraid they'll go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there." "Accept Life on Life's terms" Last edited by tracist514; Jun 27, 2012 at 08:07 AM. |
| madisgram
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#9
Jun 27, 2012, 09:44 AM
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I'll never be what I could've been.
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#10
Jun 27, 2012, 10:29 AM
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Just give it a chance and don't think too far ahead. If you just take it one day at a time with an open mind you could be MORE than what you expect to be. Not to sound like a slogan machine but If you put one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow you can only piss on today. I am sorry you are going through this tough time.
__________________
"Religion is for people who are afraid they'll go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there." "Accept Life on Life's terms" |
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#11
Jun 27, 2012, 11:29 AM
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geez. i'm sorry I set that off. I mean, I apologize for saying the wrong thing. that was thoughtless. I shouldn't have minimized your pain.
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#12
Jun 27, 2012, 03:31 PM
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I just don't want to do that to my parents. I almost did something REALLY creepy. Like I had it ALL PLANNED OUT.
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#13
Jun 27, 2012, 07:05 PM
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I didn't want my cats nibbling at my toes. I haven't HAD cats since 1980. sometimes I think all therapy has done is keep me alive. well, so what? it's not a contest, not that I know of.
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#14
Jun 28, 2012, 07:15 AM
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been following your thread, brontoset. we do have choices. did your drinking make your life unmanageable? is that why you got sober? were you sick and tired of being were sick and tired of it all?
i know this is a strange thought but if you're feeling so miserable about life sober perhaps you're just not ready yet (to be sober). weigh out the benefits of both..sober..not sober.. and then choose which way you want to go.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#15
Jul 11, 2012, 02:56 PM
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if I was going to be it I would have been it... gone way out of my way even right in my way to be it but I am not it... dreams fade from innocent minds over time and get replaced by temporary dreams .... such as 'help me get over this damn failure' type dreams...! these dreams are unexpected but have the most force and propel us into the unknown future free of regrets and can't call that a bad thing not everybody can hit the personal jackpot thats reality and sure I'm disappointed well I was until I discovered it's better for me just to appreciate than stimulate... what a scewed up world if the majority were marvelous... yet it's still very relative aint it? it's marvelous just surviving in a mad mind in an infinite world.... prime time is any time all the time so long as you be breathin' |
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