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#1
Sep 15, 2012, 09:31 AM
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I hate this stupid disease. I'm finally turning my life around, and I'm having thoughts of drinking - thinking it would be nice to get a small bottle and have a few drinks before bed each night. Capital D DUMB. I know perfectly well that it would lead to a binge, which would get me kicked out of my housing. So I'm not going to do it. I just wish that the thoughts wouldn't come into my mind and seem like such a good idea.
Really glad that I'm going to a meeting tonight. splitimage
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 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
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 tigerlily84, tracist514
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#2
Sep 15, 2012, 09:52 AM
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Hi, that happens to me also, I think about it and think I miss the lifestyle. Not for long though. Its gotten easier for me. Life is so much better. I just wont trade that. And my thinking has changed. Sometimes when I'm at work, something will pop into my head of something I did when I was drinking that I would never do now, and I cringe. No going back for me. Ive tried it too many times. It got really bad I was sick for a long time. Whats really scary is that it destroys your organs and you dont know it until its too late, I saw this with my neighbors son.
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#3
Sep 15, 2012, 10:15 AM
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When that happens, think that drink from start to finish. Start with the first drink, and then the second, and so on, until you get plastered. Think about what happens, and what a fool you make of yourself. Think about the consequences. Think about what might happen, i.e. problems with the law. Think about what HAS happened in the past and how it could happen again. Go all the way thru from start to finish. NOW -- to you still want that drink?
Probably not.  Every time you think about drinking, think the drink from start to finish. Think about potential problems too.  What about your health? I just brought my son home from the hospital after his being in there 2 months cause his liver quit working completely from drinking! It's working "a little" now, but we don't know how long he is for this earth. He's 42. So think about your health. I wish you the very best! Take care and don''t drink!!! Alcohol KILLS. Hugs, Lee 
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The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield |
| tracist514
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 tracist514
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#4
Sep 15, 2012, 01:38 PM
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splitimage i could be mistaken but i believe all the recent changes in your life have caused a stress related boomerang effect. meaning we get thru the stressors and then wham it rears it's ugly head after we've done what we had to do..and then not too far off we're hit with the urge to drink. yet the stressor is fixed.
plus your sobriety time is being challenged by the lure of alcohol. i'm glad you're going to a meeting tonite. hope you'll share about what u wrote here to the group. the support you recieve will strengthen your resolve to stay sober. you're doing what needs to be done to stay sober too. you're talking about it here even tho you have already thought the drink thru. reminding yourself from whence you came and the hopeless feeling we get when drinking will help also.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#5
Sep 16, 2012, 09:18 AM
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I kwow how you feel. And def had a few of those moments in soberity already. Yesterday I got into a very bad fight with my husband, and not using the tools I've learned in the program so far I fed into some of his behavoirs. Which led to me saying "I should just drink, f**k it You make me want too anyway!" Which thank god I didn't, I ended up going to a meeting with my sponsor. However the thought was there, just to be able to get numb and not deal with the BS. Fights with my husband were big trigers for my pick ups in the past. So I have to pay attention to that when and if we have a heated "debate". Most of the time we get along but no two people do all the time. I have to realize I may be changing and he may not be sure how to react about it.
Anyway sorry for somewhat venting on your thread. I guess what I was trying to say is I can relate to that feeling. Glad you posted and didn't pick up! Just one day at a time 
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"Religion is for people who are afraid they'll go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there." "Accept Life on Life's terms" |
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#6
Sep 16, 2012, 10:33 PM
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When I call my sponsor in terror and tell her that I'm thinking about a drink, she just laughs and says "of course you are, you're an alcoholic, you expected to never think about a drink again?" I guess I did; the miracle is in not picking it up and doing it!
If I can't do one day at a time, I do one hour at a time...if I can't do that, I do 5 minutes. I'm also told to ask my higher power to help, I'm powerless after all... |
| tracist514
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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