[Ticli-Otops]

My first day sober. I'm going insane. I don't have a way to get anything. All I can do is cry, and smoke tons of cigs. I'm completely restless. I don't have a way to get anything until Saturday. I don't even know what to do. I'm broke, I don't have my friends numbers, and my boyfriend wont give them to me. My parents door is locked. I don't even know if i'll make it to Saturday. I will admit... that i'm addicted. I have no problem admitting that. But there's no way in hell i'm going to treatment. I can't stand those places. I hate them almost as much as I hate the feeling of being sober. All I can do is search my room completely, over and over again... looking for something, cut... alot..., sob uncontrollably, and smoke cigs. I feel like i'm going to die before I can get what I need.

[perseverance11]

Hello Ticli-Otops,

If I understood, you have difficulty to be sober in your first day?
Have you ever tried to do something that you like to help yourself?

But the first days of being sober are always difficult.
What I can say to you is to keep going your sobriety for your health.

You also said that you are in danger of cutting yourself?

I think that you should call the emergency line or something like that to help you out.

Don't give up and I wish you the best!

[Ticli-Otops]

I've been cutting for 5 years. It's nothing big. But, everything bad that has ever happened in my life is just hitting me right now. This is the first time I have ever REALLY felt it. I thought it was bad feeling it,when I was high...This is just unreal...

[perseverance11]

Originally Posted by Ticli-Otops

I've been cutting for 5 years. It's nothing big. But, everything bad that has ever happened in my life is just hitting me right now. This is the first time I have ever REALLY felt it. I thought it was bad feeling it,when I was high...This is just unreal...

I hope you will find the help that you want here.

[Leed]

What are you addicted to?

How about taking a nice warm bath? That can help sooth the nerves and help you calm down.

I don't know what you're addicted to so it's hard to know how to help you. If I knew, I might be able to help more.

Take a warm bath to start -- and let us know what you were into, ok?

[Ticli-Otops]

Originally Posted by Leed

What are you addicted to?

How about taking a nice warm bath? That can help sooth the nerves and help you calm down.

I don't know what you're addicted to so it's hard to know how to help you. If I knew, I might be able to help more.

Take a warm bath to start -- and let us know what you were into, ok?

I don't have a bathtub. But, I was into a cheaper, less intense form of meth. But it's just as powerful of an addcition. Leaves the same fog. All that****.

[pucci624]

I have been off of cocaine for 7 days, but before that, alchohol, xanax, ecstasy, basically anything I could get from anyone. I'm addicted mostly to uppers like you although I have never tried meth. I've also become addicted to gambling, to sex, to online gaming, and possibly many other things at many different times...but lately it's been coke. I know you are struggling with something bigger than the meth. The meth is your cover, but it's not your story. The cravings only cloud the bigger problem, but sometimes the fear of that discovery or the fear of feeling anything is overwhelming. I wish I could offer a solution. Alas, I am also in the same boat as you. I'm glad I came across your post though. How are you feeling today?

My name is Lilly btw.
<<hugs>>

[Ticli-Otops]

I just wanna get high. I'm super depressed. I got desperate enough to turn to inhalants. :/ I'm not allowed out of my house, and I know that I need to get away for a little while. Especially having to be around people that make it so I feel the need to get high. Constantly being around drugs... that I cant get my hands on... is just stressing me out.

[Cherry73]

I'm so very sorry you are having such a hard time. I know how very hard it is. I had serious addiction issues for many years. I've detoxed many times over the years until finally becoming clean in November of 2005. I know right now it seems like it will never get better but believe me it will. Just try and hang in there for a few days and you will feel better. This might sound impossible but try and occupy your mind worth something you like to pass the time. I wish you the best.

[carrie_ann]

how are you feeling today?

[Ticli-Otops]

Gah. I feel horrible. I was sober for a little while... and I just can't stand it. My parents decided that they weren't going to send me to rehab, and just decided to have me go to AA meetings. I got really upset today, so I ended up ordering drugs online. I feel completely ashamed, cuz I lied to my parents so that I could use their debit card to order it. :c It was only a few dollars, but they think that i'm done getting high. I've been doing anything I can get my hands on, and I know it's not safe.... But I can't control myself,anymore.

[Cherry73]

Good morning! How are you feeling today?

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Ticli-Otops

My first day sober. I'm going insane. I don't have a way to get anything. All I can do is cry, and smoke tons of cigs. I'm completely restless. I don't have a way to get anything until Saturday. I don't even know what to do. I'm broke, I don't have my friends numbers, and my boyfriend wont give them to me. My parents door is locked. I don't even know if i'll make it to Saturday. I will admit... that i'm addicted. I have no problem admitting that. But there's no way in hell i'm going to treatment. I can't stand those places. I hate them almost as much as I hate the feeling of being sober. All I can do is search my room completely, over and over again... looking for something, cut... alot..., sob uncontrollably, and smoke cigs. I feel like i'm going to die before I can get what I need.

here's hoping you are doing ok today

[Ticli-Otops]

Today was better. I got to get out of the house, and have some distractions. I just wish I knew which days were going to be bad, and which were going to be good.