I want to drink today so badly.

[roads]

me too ... so let's hang onto each other and stay sober
I'm drinking apple juice.

[notz]

Today I drank water, unsweetened tea and Coke Zero. No alcohol!

[roads]

Did you have a screaming need to drink today?
I hope not, but if so please hang in with nevergoodenough and the others who PM'd me. We've made a 6-wk commitment.

[arachnophobia.kid]

I've got my drinking habits down to only once a week in the past month which is a big improvement for me. Now it's the weekend, The time when I usually allow myself to get drunk. But I want to cut it out of my life all together. I told myself I wasn't going to drink at all this weekend and I was so sure of myself that it would be easy but now that the weekend is here, it is, again, very tempting. I keep thinking about how nice it is has been in the past while to get drunk on the weekend.

To motivate myself I am trying to think more about the counterpoint of how it ruins the following day because of the hangover, or about how it has been so destructive in the past, and also the mess of having my health in a constant flux of deterioration and recovery. I am thinking about how great it feels on those days when I am able to overcome the temptation. I want that.

[roads]

When you "allow [yourself] to get drunk," are you really looking for a way to completely shut down? Relax? Escape? You'll find not drinking easier, I think, if you can replace it with some other activity that to some degree serves the purpose that getting wasted did.
Instead of staying up last drinking after the show Friday night, I'd get up early and a bunch of us volunteers would muck out the stalls at the humane society therapy horse center. Hard work, but we talked, worked the horses, drank gallons of homemade ginger ale and root beer--then I generally passed out till show time that night.
Good luck. It's not easy ... but worth the battle!

[arachnophobia.kid]

Originally Posted by Roadie

When you "allow [yourself] to get drunk," are you really looking for a way to completely shut down? Relax? Escape? You'll find not drinking easier, I think, if you can replace it with some other activity that to some degree serves the purpose that getting wasted did.
Instead of staying up last drinking after the show Friday night, I'd get up early and a bunch of us volunteers would muck out the stalls at the humane society therapy horse center. Hard work, but we talked, worked the horses, drank gallons of homemade ginger ale and root beer--then I generally passed out till show time that night.
Good luck. It's not easy ... but worth the battle!

Thanks Roadie, that's true. It's not always very helpful to say "I'm not going to drink" but it is helpful to say "This is what I'm going to do instead". I'll have to try to find my version of volunteering at the humane society.

[thickntired]

My husband is drunk right now, and I hate him for that.

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[roads]

I'm so so sorry. That's a very dangerous relationship--how are you going to handle it?

Please have a plan for dealing with your husband's drinking and your anger. Talk to your sponsor, if you have one.

You can't let it pass--do something but make a plan! Don't come back to him in anger, and do t even talk with him while he's drunk.

You'll be in my thoughts and heart.
Roadie

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by Roadie

I'm so so sorry. That's a very dangerous relationship--how are you going to handle it?

Please have a plan for dealing with your husband's drinking and your anger. Talk to your sponsor, if you have one.

You can't let it pass--do something but make a plan! Don't come back to him in anger, and do t even talk with him while he's drunk.

You'll be in my thoughts and heart.
Roadie

Thank you, Roadie. With Alanon I am not as angry and remove myself from the situation. I used to get him into bed or cover him with a blanket. Now I don't care if he passed out on the kitchen floor - that's his problem. I talked to my sponsor last night and she reminded me that he is sick and it's not about me. It's just still hard to not have strong feelings and hate. He is like a pig when he's drunk. I cooked a very nice dinner and he was too drunk to know what he was eating.

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[roads]

I'm glad you've got a sponsor, ((((((( thickntired ))))))). If you're going to try to save this marriage, she'll be able to help you slow everything down and make workable plans.
Remember self-care in this. You have your own struggles every day and you can't afford to ease up on any of them. I'm glad you're touching in here--I care a lot about you.
Roadie

[arachnophobia.kid]

No drinks this past weekend Making 7 days sober. Not a big feat but it's the longest I've gone without a drink in a while.

[thickntired]

Thanks Roadie ♥♥♥♥

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[ZeldaX]

5 days without drinking. I know that doesn't sound like much. But I am trying.

[roads]

ZeldaX, it's not just five days not drinking ... It's the first five days. I remember how hard every hour of those early days were ... so,

, ZeldaX

Keep on keeping on. We know how hard it is and how much it means. You can do this! We're here to help however we can, if you're truly ready to quit.

Roadie

[Petra5ed]

8 years and 2 months without drinking and 0 days without pot and pills.

[ZeldaX]

Thanks so much, Roadie. Now it is six days. I am truly ready to quit. I know I have been using it (and SI) to try to handle my horrific self hatred. I haven't found a place to talk about those problems. Maybe self esteem, I'm not sure.

[arachnophobia.kid]

I'm on day 15 now without alcohol and I'm starting to realize how much better life is without it. Somehow it is getting easier and harder at the same time to stay sober. I'm used to going without alcohol for short periods of time but there is certainly a big difference when you give it up all together. I've started to use OTC sleep aids because some nights I can't sleep. And I've been drinking energy drinks as a replacement for alcohol on the weekends, not the best habit, I know, but it could be worse and it does provide relief from the cravings.

[arachnophobia.kid]

Withdrawal is hitting me like a ton of bricks today.

[notz]

Can you take a few walks today when it hits you? Break your day up into segments of time...an hour, 30 minutes, 15, whatever it takes to stay sober! I'll be thinking of you. Check back in and let us know how you're doing.

[arachnophobia.kid]

Originally Posted by notz

Can you take a few walks today when it hits you? Break your day up into segments of time...an hour, 30 minutes, 15, whatever it takes to stay sober! I'll be thinking of you. Check back in and let us know how you're doing.

Thank you for your suggestion, I ended up asking my boss if I could go for a quick walk today and he was okay with it. So I went for a good 20 minutes or so and it was helpful, the exercise and fresh air was nice, and somehow I think the fact that it's cold outside was helpful too, even though it's not so pleasant. I got my head back together at least temporarily.

[roads]

arachnophobia.kid, major congrats for surviving that ton of bricks! More will come, but every one you get past strengthens you.
notz' suggestion of walks is great--I still do that if I begin to feel stress. Also stay hydrated, with water, if you can. Herb tea, flavored flat water--watch the sugar and carbonated drink intake.
Please be very wary of those OTC sleep aids because most are overdoses of antihistamines that knock you out. You can become addicted to those also & they dehydrate your system.
You can get hooked on most energy drinks, as well--sugar and caffeine.
But for now ...

TWO WEEKS and A DAY SOBER!!![

YEA, YEA, YEA arachnophobia.kid

[arachnophobia.kid]

You guys are awesome! Thanks so much for all the support.

I do drink a lot of water and herbal tea so that helps a lot but your absolutely right about the energy drinks and the antihistamines. They're no good and I don't want to replace one addiction with another. I just can't seem to stop self medicating entirely but I'm doing my best to keep those in check. I wish I could just eat fruits and veggies or something and have that satisfy my cravings.

[sarah putney]

I relapsed this weekend by using meth.

Originally Posted by Roadie

Madisgram started this thread some time ago, but it's exceeded the PC limit of 100 pages/1000 posts--so Christina86 closed the original. I'm still an addict, I still need this thread, so I'm starting a sequel. Hope nobody mnds my aggressive attitude
Roadie

[notz]

Pick yourself up and go to a meeting.