Daily addiction check in #1

UpDownandAround,

My last drink was on June 7th, my first day sober was June 8th. So June 8th is day 1 for me. So 4 mos for me will be October 8th.after 90 days, I stop really counting days, for the most part and go with monthly. So its the 8th of every month at that point. It is still kinda fun to open the app on my phone and see how many tho...

Childofchaos,
If June 8th is day 1 of the first month, then isn't October 8th Day 1 of the 5th month? Or you are doing the other thing I mentioned - using what has been completed before today rather than what today makes. How does something so simple get to be so confusing?

What has been completed. I don't pick up 30 days until day 30 is over, so technically I would pick it up on day 31. Does that make sense, is that what you mean?

And yes, it is confusing, especially when our brains haven't fully started working right again...

6/25!!! 6/25!!! 6/25!!! 6/25!!!

That day has meaning for you. It was the day of your last drink - the start of sobriety. Seriously, though, childofchaos is technically correct, but I think it would mean a lot more to you if you chose your kid's birthday as a landmark. Your last drink was the beginning of becoming a better father, husband, etc. That's just my opinion, though...

sober since July 18, 2015. Yesterday was a slightly challenging day. Stressed, anxious, sleep-deprived, struggling with a new medication. On my way home I started fantasizing about 2 klonopin and a half-pint of whiskey. I thought, yes, this would feel good. Fleeting, but more thought than I general give to booze and drugs. I soon found relief. I think it was a God thing. It came out of no where. Couldn't get a hold of my sponsor.

Today, I'm right as rain. Tonight, I'll be at a meeting for sure.

Congrats on the sobriety & fighting that fleeting urge yesterday! Alcoholism is a sneaky disease. Sorry you couldn't get a hold of your sponsor, but I keep numbers of other folks in AA (my recovery choice) programmed in my phone in the event I can't get a hold of my primary sponsor. I use these numbers before I get an urge so when alcohol does sneak into my head, I don't feel as uncomfortable calling. There's that old saying about the "500 pound phone."

I probably babbled on too much about stuff you already knew. All I actually meant to say was welcome & congrats.

So, I've been drinking on and off for most of this year since a friend of mine died. I've not had problems with alcohol before but at Uni I was known for my enjoyment of alcohol. Latterly it has got bad and I've been drinking beer daily. It's got to the point where it's affecting my mood and I saw my p-doc yesterday who affirmed he thinks it's the drinking.

I really need to stop but I always find some "good reason" to drink. I've decided to give it a shot by myself first but if that doesn't work my p-doc will refer me on to services that can help.

I'll admit I'm drinking today but I don't have enough money left to afford beer for the rest of the month so I'm hopeful getting a few days head start before I have money will help.

I almost managed a couple of weeks ago when I went to visit my parents but then my Dad arranged a visit to the pub with my brother in law and I felt I couldn't say no.

I know I can do this, I'm not having any signs of physical addiction so it's just the habit I got to break. Yet, I know from smoking and stimulant use that the psychological addiction is the hard one to beat.

Tomorrow is the day (as ever), but really this time. Wish me luck.

Thanks! I do have numbers, but didn't think to use one. I should know better! I did end up talking to someone about it last night. Thanks for the welcome.

Good luck, Loial. The key to solving a problem is knowing there is one. You've got a huge headstart on this! Keep posting & let us know how things are going for you. We don't judge here!

Best of luck, Loial. Keep coming back here. It helps more than you might think to share your journey with people who start as anonymous strangers.

In other news, I told my t yesterday that I had passed 3 months of sobriety and will share it with my pdoc this afternoon. It is kind of odd at home; it's like we just want to move on past it and not talk about it. No one in my family knows that I just passed a milestone.

Congrats again on the three month mark! I wrote before that your family will see the changes in you as you continue to keep the plug in the jug; I'm sure they already have. Do you feel OK with not sharing your milestone with your family? One possible advantage of not doing so is that it might not remind them of your drinking bouts quite as much. Again it's all about the change they see in you. Conversely, are you disappointed that they haven't mentioned your sobriety date? If so, how can you resolve it to your satisfaction?

I am annoyed at my wife's attitude even though it is understandable. When I came clean and quit, she just shrugged and said we've been here before. At 3 months, she would probably have the same reaction and she would be right. I get the feeling she thinks I still have been drinking. I took the checkbook to make the suggested $5 donation at Recovery Intl meeting last night (also bought a workbook) because of the way she said "uh huh" when I got cash for a previous meeting. I usually don't carry cash and all my spending comes though on the debit card.

The most vitally important thing is YOU know you've not been drinking. While getting sober can heal families in time, sobriety can also be considered a "selfish pursuit." I'm sure you already feel more clear-headed & emotionally healthy having quit. If you'd told me when I was drinking that quitting would make me feel more stable & happy, I would have told you that you were crazy! Turns out it's true. In addition to that benefit, you're developing other tools in your recovery program. I did CBT & DBT separate from my recovery program, but both improved my emotional well-being, as well. Keep on, bro!

I told her about the 3 months tonight partly just to gauge the reaction and partly because I am really starting to feel good in general. A recent med adjustment has me sitting in a good place and it isn't hypomania. If I continue to feel this way, it will make it a heck of a lot easier to avoid anything that might rock the boat. And yes, having quit drinking and using contributes to what might be stability. I still have my head fog, but it isn't a mood thing exactly. Anyway, the reaction was positive but very muted. I am in a good place, but WE are not. Not going to let that get me down right now.

Time & patience, my friend. Your attitude about the current situation is very healthy for you both! Hang in there...

V

This is my count...

Congrats, "other green!"

Congratulations greentires4me!

Nice, greentires4me!

Congratulations UpDownAround. 3 months is a pretty big milestone.

Greentires, congrats to you too. Can you tell me where you found your sobriety tracker. I like it better than the one I have on the Women For Sobriety site.

I'm on day 17, which makes me happy. The brain fog is lifting a bit.

splitimage

I'm happy for you, splitimage! I was looking back on this thread to track everyone's progress in the last several weeks. You sound so, so much better than you did when you first posted your "I Relapsed" thread back in August. Sobriety really is a miracle.

It's been over two weeks since my last meeting (which is a very long time for me). Folks from my meetings have been calling me to find out where I've been, but I've not been answering the phone. I get into these spells where I get almost agorophobic & withdraw from everyone. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow (if I can get out of the house) & one with my pdoc next week to see if there's anything that can be done med-wise. I want to thank everyone who participates on this thread, however. Hanging out here with you all is incredibly helpful when I check here a few times a day. I know that sharing & reading here will be a very good substitute to focus on sobriety until I can get back to AA.

Hey green, what app do you use? It looks cool!

I AM sober app

I just want to know how many seconds you've been sober. That would be an impressive & encouraging number!