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  #976  
Old Oct 17, 2017, 03:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JessLynn View Post
Day 2, I told the pdoc what has been going on, I was shaking like a leaf, looked pretty stupid. Now I am fiending :/ Anyone still smoke weed if you quit the hard drugs?
I did when I was in my 20s. My weed use tapered off and I haven't smoked it in decades but I might if I go somewhere it is legal or it becomes legal here. When I quit doing PCP, MDA, LSD and whatever else came along it did make it easier to drop those first and drop mushrooms (used on rare occasions) and weed (smoked frequently) later. My reasoning (excuse) was I was quitting everything made in a lab and only going with natural substances. I feel like I should recommend going off everything at once, but in all honesty that is not what I did.

EDIT to Add - This is what I did way back in the day. My more recent troubles with alcohol, prescription adderall and prescription opioids were a different incident. In 8 days I will be 4 months clean and sober with respect to adderall and alcohol and I am 8 months clear of opioids.
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Last edited by UpDownAround; Oct 17, 2017 at 03:50 PM.

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  #977  
Old Oct 17, 2017, 03:47 PM
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childofchaos831 childofchaos831 is offline
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The typical 12 step approach is to stop all drugs. For some people, that is how they have to do it, or they will end up back using what they prefer. The whole "crack rock at the bottom of the liquor bottle" idea that can be heard at 12 step meetings. Basically, if someone tries to drop the hard stuff and just drink or just smoke pot, they will end up back where they were.

However, and I say this cautiously because it is not my experience, I do know some people url who did "take it slow" so to speak. They either smoked pot still, used kratom or drank kava, to help with the urges.

I would point out tho, that continuing to use in any form, in my experience, only prolongs the process of getting off of the drugs and makes it more difficult in the end. That is my experience, however. If smoking pot or using kratom and/or kava (which a good friend of mine does to maintain sobriety from heroin and meth) can keep someone from using something harder and more damaging to their body, I'm not gonna outright say that is a bad thing.

There are different ideas of sobriety... The one that doctors push is total abstinence. Another approach is harm reduction. Usually, that looks like if someone relapses, to limit the physical harm and legal harm as much as possible until they can get back to total abstinence. To me, maintenance with marijuana can count as harm reduction for some people, until they can get to total abstinence in the first place.
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  #978  
Old Oct 17, 2017, 05:34 PM
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Kratom is practically a narcotic; it technically isn't but there are a lot of states outlawing it. It can be addictive. Some natural stuff is best avoided. I tried salvia about 10 years ago when it was legal in my state. I thought it was an herbal weed wannabe that might help with the longings for weed. I was wrong. It is a hallucinogenic and from my experience and reading the experiences of others, most of the visions are frightening and/or uncomfortable. Bad juju.
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  #979  
Old Oct 17, 2017, 07:36 PM
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Your mileage may vary, but when I smoked weed I smoked like I drank...to excess. Back in college I'd smoke from morning until night, not wanting to come down. The downside was it never made me sick or hungover, so it was "no holes barred." I just have an addictive personality, I guess. The only exception are my psych meds. I've never abused those for some reason.
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  #980  
Old Oct 18, 2017, 04:44 AM
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I'm a bit worried about pot. It's going to be legalized for recreational use, across Canada next July 1. I tried it in my 20's, and don't really remember how it affected me. But I never really got into it, because it was illegal, and drunk driving aside, I'm generally a very law abiding person.

But knowing it's going to be legal, has me tempted. I miss not having something to take the edge off. But I'm afraid, I'd get addicted to it, and wind up abusing it, like everything else - just the way I am. I don't do anything in moderation. I'm also worried it might lead me back to drinking.

So I'm probably going to resist temptation, and not try it.

splitimage
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  #981  
Old Oct 18, 2017, 08:33 AM
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One thing weed did do for me back in the day was function as my primary vice. That made PCP, MDA and other harder drugs a less frequent thing. It absolutely was addictive behavior so it isn't exactly a redeeming attribute of weed, but I would be a lot worse off if PCP or MDA was my primary vice. And weed isn't addictive - I smoked pot nearly every day for years and never got addicted.

I think I am likely to smoke some if it becomes legal where I am or I visit a place where it is. I would almost rather it be the latter so it would be unavailable when I returned home. I know that illegal doesn't mean unavailable but I have not purchased or used an illegal drug in about 30 years. The fact that I am still drawn to it says something about it.
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  #982  
Old Oct 18, 2017, 10:40 AM
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Well I have a medical card for Mary Jane

I see those around me who are addicted to it I have since stopped smoking it and only play with edibles. I don't see how some people can do a whole 60mg of medicated tea/coffee at once or a whole bag of of gummies at 140mg I can only stick to 15mg and I only ever eat it when my scoliosis is extremely bad and it's usually during the night time I do this. I wouldn't chance any of it during the day time or right before a appointment or work.

The whole aspect of it was so I didn't have to feel nauseous all day long due to one of my APs I would smoke some so I could eat then. Yet now I don't have that issue and before that I would smoke because I have extreme insomnia ever since that accident at work. I don't crave any of it and at the very least to smoke, drink or chew. I come to the point in my life where even if I have an addictive personality it's not a essential that I need to smoke to get high.

To me it's not the alcohol replacement I have many other things that I do that have replaced that people call that healthy replacements, I guess.

I was suppose to have a addictions appointment today but i didn't want to come in at 5pm it gets dark too soon. To next Friday two days after pay day!
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  #983  
Old Oct 18, 2017, 02:24 PM
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First strong urge in a while today. Trouble at home that was finally discussed last night but the discussion didn't lead to a happy place. Still was cordial afterwards and this morning, but a mundane conversation just turned frosty/snippy. I am not about to give in to the urge. It just surprised me. It wasn't really out of the blue but it was intense. A few "RI spots" (CBT tidbits) rolled through my head and actually kinda worked. I didn't attack the urge; I minimized the impact of the event that I was worked up about. That distracted me and my first reaction ("everyone is entitled to their initial flare") is what triggered the urge but it was being worked up about it that would have fueled it. I "removed the danger from the situation", tried to "be self led, not symptom led" and remembered that "calm begets calm; temper begets temper". We still have some problems; trite little sayings won't fix that. But letting every little reminder of it turn into a flash point won't help and could lead to other troubles.
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  #984  
Old Oct 18, 2017, 02:51 PM
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I'm sorry to read of the problems you've been having. I was just reading another section where you described the nature of the stuff you're dealing with. In my opinion, it's perfectly natural for you to have an urge, but you're using the tools from your "RI" toolbox. That's a sign that you're really working that program. Keep writing about it as the day progresses. I know you're in a rough spot...we're here to give support.
  #985  
Old Oct 18, 2017, 04:22 PM
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Wow. Things just keep slapping me in the face today. A friend found my gib pipe, and one of my other friends seems to think i'm their middle man or something to get what they need. I mean, go away people. It honestly makes cravings worse.
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  #986  
Old Oct 18, 2017, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JessLynn View Post
Wow. Things just keep slapping me in the face today. A friend found my gib pipe, and one of my other friends seems to think i'm their middle man or something to get what they need. I mean, go away people. It honestly makes cravings worse.
You really need to ditch the pipe. It's hard to put that life behind you with a relic in front of you. Don't be wishy washy; if you're done with it (and I hope you are), tell them that and don't mince words. "I am done with that. Please don't ask again."
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  #987  
Old Oct 18, 2017, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by emgreen View Post
I'm sorry to read of the problems you've been having. I was just reading another section where you described the nature of the stuff you're dealing with. In my opinion, it's perfectly natural for you to have an urge, but you're using the tools from your "RI" toolbox. That's a sign that you're really working that program. Keep writing about it as the day progresses. I know you're in a rough spot...we're here to give support.
Thanks. It is tough at home; the facade is up around the kids but they have known things aren't right for a while. I have a little side work to do and then I will put on my headphones and play blues badly on my tiny MIDI keyboard.
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  #988  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 07:57 AM
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Not an AA fan. Smoked pot last month a whole bud and about got sick. It was a horrible experience. I won't do that again!
I am using the computer so much, makes me late to my appointments.
Alcohol is my preference, drug of choice, and I am overweight...sigh
Harm reduction is a good site, HAMS.
Glad to have seen this thanks for mentioning this forum.
I appreciate you!
bizi
I am bipolar and live in the extremes!
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  #989  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 09:44 AM
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Good to see you over here, Bizi. So I take it you are trying to give up alcohol?
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  #990  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 12:21 PM
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So far so good for today. I’m not sure what my goal is/should be. Zero or less?
  #991  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 06:08 PM
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Welcome bizi & Toomixedup! As far as your questions go, Toomixedup, that's up for you to decide. How much does your drinking impact your life? How much do you drink when you drink? These might be questions you want to consider.
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  #992  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 08:27 PM
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Hello!
I am trying to stick to mod.
Had 3 margaritas and dinner at chewys, they have a good happy hour!
It was really good!
I was driving so I knew I needed to be careful.
Hubby drove separately, we were a couple of miles from our house.
I stopped by whole foods for a few items. I plan to make chilli tomorrow for dinner. We are going to a haunted attraction tomorrow night called the fright trail. Going with some young boys so that should be fun.
bizi
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lamictal 2x a day
haldol 2x a day
cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
fish oil coq10
multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine
Remeron at night,
zyprexa,
requip2-4mg





  #993  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 10:32 PM
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Was drinking a few beers and decided it would be ok to just buy a bottle of captain morgan but my mom told the liquor store to stop serving me when I was 18 because I had a few months of heavy drinking at that time and she couldn't stand it. I'm 21 now and didn't bother going to the liquor store.

I realize that alcohol completely kills my ability to sleep so it's not a good vice for me even though I'm able to just have a few drinks without going overboard because it's not my drug of choice. I just use it for anxiety but it makes me feel too weird.

No meth cravings which is my drug of choice so that's good.

I took 3mg Ativan two days ago because I felt anxious but not anxious anymore so I wont be taking that.

Took two puffs of weed but it makes me way too anxious so that keeps me away from it.

The only thing I'm drawn towards is low doses of LSD and MDMA so my mom has to control my bank account so I don't order them online.

I don't know how long she's going to do it and I don't know how long I'll be drawn to serotonergics either.
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  #994  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 10:39 PM
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I'm trying to not fall into the polydrug use deep end near death all the time it just feels like a never ending struggle.

I'm trying to get the weekend off of work so I can go to the city with my mom and sister and enjoy myself but I'm probably going to be stuck here bored in the middle of nowhere for the weekend.
  #995  
Old Oct 20, 2017, 07:30 AM
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I am a ****ing puddle. I have been sitting here on my couch wrapped in a blanket crying all morning. I hate feeling this depressed :/
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  #996  
Old Oct 20, 2017, 08:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Desoxyn View Post
I'm trying to not fall into the polydrug use deep end near death all the time it just feels like a never ending struggle.

I'm trying to get the weekend off of work so I can go to the city with my mom and sister and enjoy myself but I'm probably going to be stuck here bored in the middle of nowhere for the weekend.
All we can do is keep plugging at it and try to get clean and healthy. You are resisting a few urges and have good controls in place for others. you are doing the work.
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  #997  
Old Oct 20, 2017, 08:26 AM
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Originally Posted by JessLynn View Post
I am a ****ing puddle. I have been sitting here on my couch wrapped in a blanket crying all morning. I hate feeling this depressed :/
Depression sucks the most; there is no getting around that. All you can do is indulge in some creature comforts (that aren't meth) - warm bath/shower, ice cream (it's a medicine) and try to occupy your mind by streaming movies, reading or whatever. I won't push that "get happy" crap people are always pushing on me during a down cycle. You just have to tough it out and don't let it push you into bad decisions.
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  #998  
Old Oct 21, 2017, 10:18 AM
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ROLL CALL!!! How's everyone's journey going today? I'm going to watch college football most of the day & do it sober! It wasn't like that back in the day! I actually made it to an AA meeting this week for the first time in over a month. The topic was about God & sobriety...Which ain't a good one for me. Like they say, "Take what you need & leave the rest."
  #999  
Old Oct 21, 2017, 11:17 AM
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I'm 4x4 because it is 4 days until 4 months. My head is in a better place even though nothing really changed at home, but "If you can't change a situation, change your attitude toward it." It's a nice sunny day here. It turns out you can catch fish while completely sober, so I am going fishing in a couple of hours.

So, is God staying sober? Back when the Canaanites called him El, there were some tales of drunken debauchery...
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Up and down
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  #1000  
Old Oct 21, 2017, 12:03 PM
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So, is God staying sober? Back when the Canaanites called him El, there were some tales of drunken debauchery...
By the looks of the world these days, god must be drunk as a skunk (apologies to those who are religious). Despite the emphasis on a higher power in AA, it has worked for me. Have a great time fishing!
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